I’ve got a plan cooking to get the cash out of the trailer, which means no place to practice music for a while. So I may keep it a little longer. The big design is to take the money and head to South America for a couple of years, but this time I may opt for another college degree. (These things do come in handy for those of us who really have them. Somebody should inform the G that there actually is an air guitar contest – in Finland. I just know if he entered, the gang would rustle him up a one-way ticket before noon today.)
I myself must visit Lithuania. You should see this blonde babe (from Kaunus) that has been coming to the Argentina coffee place in the mornings. Too bad, guys, she is shacked up with some Ecuadorian dude with a ton of money, and his face is even shinier than hers. She’s learned nearly perfect Spanish from him. Besides, Florida, you’d have to lose the ball cap and we know there’s lines you will not cross.On the other hand, I had a time convincing Wallace to wear a hat in this heat. There were no callouts (service calls), so we got into the rental car and drove all the way up to Fort Worth using A1A, a coastal road that typifies the extreme difficulty people in this area have coming up with descriptive names. We stopped in Delray Beach, where there are single, attractive women walking on the beach. Blonde women. Live further south long enough and you will forget this is still possible. Let me see if I can capture you a still.
Yes, here you go. This is from the half-hour documentary about Wallace’s adventures (“Florida Meets Wally”) since he arrived two weeks ago to the day. In another master stroke by MS, their [video] editor [software] “Windows Movie Maker” produces a format that cannot be read by other rendering programs. There is no warning sticker on the package. Let’s put ‘em together for Bill Gates!This is the second or third time I’ve been north past Ft. Lauderdale on the coast since I arrived. I have very little reason to drive north through the cities. I’ve been in the Everglades probably thirty times, however. What are your priorities? I could say I know all the backroads through the swamp. Since there are only six of them.
We had coffee in Boca Raton, noting local newspaper headlines about the steep decline in housing sales (down 22%) despite prices dropping something to the effect of $19,000 per month. At that rate it won’t take long to weed out the jackasses [speculators with interest-only payments]. Foreclosures are also at record proportions. This might be the long overdue wakeup call. Oddly, it is not the banks who will lose, but the government and thus the taxpayer. The mortgage you got from the bank is almost instantly sold to the Federal government (Fanny Mae). What, you thought the bank was the one with your credit records?
Wallace noticed the same thing I did when I first arrived. No people, anywhere, in the residential areas. Nobody in the yards, the parks, the balconies or even walking on the sidewalks. Miles of expensive houses and little estates with no evidence of inhabitation. The streets are empty (here it comes… as a Club M open mic). Ouch! (I was going to say as dead as a free concert in the park featuring the G, but that would be so mean, I won’t even mention it.) We drove roughly thirty miles at one stretch without seeing a pedestrian. Out west, people with big houses do a lot of entertaining. Here, they lock the gate and hide, or something. I understand that it gets hot here, just as out west it gets cold. A certain quota of people are seasonal, but never an apparent 100%. Who knows?
The coffee shop we chose was one of those combined Baskin & Robins with Dunkin’ Donuts. Talk about your sterile, pared down totally plasticized franchise. The clerk running the till also has to work the take-out window. Sounds like fun. Drive through donuts and ice cream, and business was brisk. Maybe all those real estate agents packing on the pounds while they still can?
It was dark when we got back, so we sat on the patio drinking coffee. Jose came over, still having trouble with his van. We’ve arranged to get him to the airport late Friday evening; his wife is going to Peru for two weeks. Just about then, Wallace reported seeing the largest “June bug” he’s ever seen. Momentarily, he also discovered what “La Cucaracha” means. I was never surprised by the large Florida roaches, as I had lived in Caracas. They can startle a newcomer. I regularly spray repellent around the entire foundation perimeter [a trick I learned on Phuket Island] but that does not stop them all.
Now, if only somebody could invent a spray that terminates telemarketers, civil servants and egotistical short people.
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