Here’s a poster I can’t translate. I think it is for rap music by Mr. Bad Boy Mike, the #1 Beatmaker. Who has “beatz” for sale. Neat email address, incorpitality@yahoo.com. Lois does not care for rap music, she notes than some of her “upscale” friends hire rap jockeys for their pool parties, likely in an effort to appear kewl. I think it is for the same reason recording studios like rap – it is a cheap show to put on. Hell, I need $2400 worth of gear to do my single act.
So OJ’s new book is out, tentatively titled “If I Did It”, and in chapter six his description of the scene takes away the “If” part. I feel exactly the right amount of pity for the kids, but I’m at question marks with the people who say the book will harm them. More than having a mother who was with her ex-husband and boyfriend at the same time, [sound of throat clearing]? Or that the book is a “murder manual”. And old Perry Mason episodes are not? [There’s that sound again.]I’m watching TV this morning as my client is going to be on the NBC morning show. There I am, watching the nonsense and getting restless, god how can they stretch one minute of news into an hour? Mattel has recalled nine million toys, seems they are manufactured in China where there don’t care for no-lead paint. This, it would appear, took Mattel like 100% by surprise. No thanks to the import inspectors, either, who let the toys slip by. All nine million of them.
Of course and why not, Mattel is saying they “lost control” and the inspectors are saying they are “understaffed”, anything to get off the hook. What got me, however, was the focus on the trauma of taking the toy away from the child who has been playing with it already. They advise going to a therapist with the child to ease the pain. Goddam, want to save big money? Send my parents in there. Your kid will be 100% safe in no time because he won’t have anything period, much less any toys.
Moments later, the doggie wig spot was on NBC. Channel 6. They got some close-ups of the wigs, but there was not much to direct people on where to buy them. The big ads come out in a few weeks, so we’ll see. There was a flurry of activity when I arrived at the wig shop, mostly other media trying to pick up the story. ABC News, and a few Spanish newspapers. It was a top-billed news story for at least part of the day.
Ruth has more stage presence than the commentators. They do it for a living so they should not have to hang on for input during a lapse or two. The dogs, I think, always behave better in a closed area rather than a huge empty auditorium or street. There were also wigs I have not seen, such as the Trump combover. Ruth also got a two page spread in the New York Daily News which I presume has a large readership. There was even an email asking permission to reprint one picture in a blog in Alabama.
There have been some personnel readjustments around the shop and of course the scent of pending sales has everyone tilting upwind. David is gone. I want a healthy raise. Time to remind Ruth she offered me ten percent last year, and I said yes, but wait. We’ll see. I designed some extra forms to start keeping track of the increased traffic around the place. When I got on line, I see that there is some sharp type working on the web page. The speed and excellence tells me that programmer is not from around here. I’ll find out, but my guess is Ruth found somebody in New York. They took over and got the mail redirected to familiar territory and got rid of that non-functional shopping cart. Whoever you are, you’ve made me very happy.
Speaking of happy, I see that shots of the women I work with are popular (but you are nuts to think I’d give you a photo clear enough to identify anyone). Here is a picture of that Peruvian bookkeeper who approaches physical perfection in my books. Take a look at those smooth lines and remember Judy Minty in blue jeans circa 1974. Now you understand why I want the shop to mention my name on the media. No not just a credit on the web page or a passive note, but something that propels me into the limelight. Again, I mean like national television, I’ve tried everything else.
As my buddy Collin, the guy who invented Speedi-Bleed, used to say, “The only thing women want more than a guy who is rich is a guy who is famous. When you are famous, the money will follow.”
PS: Hey, Wallace, I had to go over to guess where to post this [e-mail] because you know I don't have service at night. The office I pirate has started unplugging their router. The new gal, Tammy, a sweetheart, wants to meet you. I think.
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