Did you know President Lincoln once paid a million dollars so one of his generals could build some boats to carry soldiers around enemy defenses, only to discover the boats were six inches too wide to fit through the canal? This from the book Marion sent me for Christmas, “The Unknown Civil War” (Webb Garrison, Cumberland House, 2000). Kept me up half the night.
The trailer papers are a tale to tell, for they show quite well what happens in a state like Florida, where incompetence gains the upper hand. There are three outfits causing the trouble, but it would be difficult to pin anything on any of them. The trailer park association, which issues unclear instructions, the title agency, who are outright liars, and the purchasers, who intentionally have no sense of the value of other people’s time.Each step of the way has some stupid delay or snag that always slows things down. This week, the purchaser is not answering her phone. You will never convince a jury these ignoramuses are not acting in collusion. It is not conscious planning, for they are not that smart. Rather, they are like my family, they have learned by attrition that if each one stops short of actually doing anything illegal, they can slow the whole system down. And they love it.
Now, I will receive the money seven weeks late and after making five expensive trips across town. Of course, they will all receive a very unwelcome wake up call after a decent passage of time. Even when there is no gain for myself, you might say, but you would be ignoring the satisfaction. Oh, and don’t you give me anything about two wrongs, because I know you.
I was in the shop most of the day. I received a Christmas card and the gift from Marion who is in Everett. The shop was busy enough to buy me lunch and I scanned hundreds of pages of job openings. Of what is there, I must have a go at teaching, so if for no other reason, I have several years of recent experience before long. Like computers, it will take me almost six months to get five years experience. Of what is there, I am best suited to teach at a college level.
At the end of the day, I went over all the emails and postings and I can’t see what the gang was all fired up about. There is nothing that should not be in the musicians list since the Runt got his ass kicked out. He was like a cancer and throwing him out cleared up all the problems that people thought were several different jerks, although he never fooled me. The conclusion is that he managed to slip one or two of his sour-ass posts in over the holidays when nobody was looking, but they could not possibly have lasted long.
[Author’s note – the list above refers to a Web Page called www.craigslist.org where users post ads or announcements by location and category. The list in question was Ft. Lauderdale musicians, so a drummer can link up with a guitarist. It is not meant to be a place to attack the views of others. The Runt would go in there sometimes 18 hours per day and call people all manner of offensive, racist names.]
Speaking of morons, today’s award goes to “Kitch rumpole@mortimer.com.” We’ve all met those massively stupid people who want to help but they lack anything like the skills to tackle what they take on. “Yup, next Sadderday Bubba ‘n me, we's gonna learn us how to read, yup yup.” Shucks, tain’t doin’ nuttin else.”
You should see Kitch try to work a word-processor. The guy means well since he wants to write out some song lyrics, but beyond the good intentions that boy does not have a friggin’ clue. It was embarrassing how much work he put into getting it exactly wrong. It is hard to stop from chuckling at the thought of him swearing at his keyboard because the stupid thing will not print what he wants. Hang in there, Kitch!
(Hint for you, Kitch. “Mary had a little lamb,” is one line, then you are supposed to press your enter key and begin another line. Notice how there is a slight pause between lines? Quite an amazing trick, really.) Are you by any chance using Dragon Naturally Speaking? Don’t rely totally on the slight pause if, as I suspect, you are also a mouth breather.
Afterward, I went over to Jimbo’s to begin setting up gear. In walks this guy with two fairly decent PA speakers for sale. Woofers, mid-range and tweeters. I picked them up for $20. Doubles the size of my system, and if need be, I now have killer home stereo.
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