I was surprised by the drive up there. The rush hour traffic is normally bumper to bumper all the way. The road was relatively empty for I drove the 9 miles in 16 minutes. If you think the freeway was dead, you should see Los Olas. They have restaurant capacity for probably 800 patrons. There were exactly six people dining. Look, for I bothered to take a photo of the deserted streets. Two years ago, you could not get a parking space in this part of town. Something else to note is there was not a single good old-fashioned coffee shop. I’ve always associated such a cafe as the heart of a district, particularly for the type of image that Las Olas is trying to project. Instead you get four or five joints trying to sell you a $3 cup of “funny” coffee and a $2 cookie the size of a pancake. Even though I was due for a break when I arrived, I did not bother them with my business. Today’s picture says it all; this street should be teeming with pedestrians.
I found a couple of places that met the general description of two bedroom and which looked for sale or rent. (The Internet ad did not give me the address, but insisted on mine to tell me any more information. Screw that old con job.) I didn’t find any houses as big as 2,000 square feet, but I believe I found some nearly representative examples. All are bank REOs (Real Estate Owned). Such properties have a curious legal status and are basically admissions that the bank lent too much money to the borrower. It also means the house is not worth enough to satisfy the outstanding loan and the bank has to eat it.
The government limits the amount of REOs a bank can possess. Thus, if a high priced unit is in default, the bank may decide to dump a lower priced unit to make room for it. Then you get houses in prestigious Las Olas for pocket change. Make that once-prestigious.
Over the past ten years I’ve pondered various ways to make money off REOs. No, I don’t mean like the late night TV schemes. It is ridiculous to try flipping houses in a declining market of the type precipitated by REOs. However, consider the following. I have noticed it takes at least 84 months for the City of Ft. Lauderdale to seize a house for non-payment of property taxes. Suppose if you started a limited liability company and purchased an REO for $5,000. I believe this will soon be realistic. Rent the place out for the going rate of $1,200 per month. That’s close to $100,000 in revenue before the sheriff arrives with the papers. What bad credit rating? You didn’t borrow any money, right? And the tax lien is on the property, not the owner.
Some may say that is unethical. So is borrowing money. Credit drives prices up so high that cash customers often can’t afford things. Did the people with mortgages have any pity for that effect on others? Those who get into trouble for spending money they don’t have should not be doing any moralizing with me. How real is the connection between credit and high prices? Think of that next time you are waiting in line close to ten minutes for that funny coffee in a paper cup.
It is not all frolic over here. Wallace and I have discovered the costs of electricity are high in a place this size. Yet when I ran the numbers, there is only a slight difference per square foot between living frugally and living comfortably. It was a particularly long and hot summer and last month cost us $76 each. That is less than it cost me in the old place which had under one-third the footprint. We also have a dishwasher and I’m not giving that up for anything unless we hire a maid.
Wallace does not know it, but these are also the first billings after a huge (15%) price increase by the power company. I cannot see how we could economize in any way without sacrificing comfort. I don’t think we should even consider that route. Neither of us wastes anything, so I accept the cost is an extra dollar per day each to live in shirt-sleeve comfort. Almost a bargain and I’ll gladly pay the dollar.
Did I ever tell you about my buddy, Marty Stewart? He used to live in Tsawwassen (rhymes with “Tsawwassen”). When he was 24, he and another guy rented an apartment downtown. They came home after an all-night party and decided the chandelier needed cleaning. But they couldn’t remember how to put the thing back together. Good-bye damage deposit.
