December 29, 2008

           Arnel gave me this bicycle carrier. It works fine with extra parts that have no apparent utility. The down side of this model is that the straps that hold it in place are plastic. Any thief with an Exacto knife will get both the rack and your bicycles. I’ll modify it slightly where the bottom section rests just below where you can’t see my license plate. I’ll drill a spot for a flat eye-bolt. Then the carrier will rest on the bolt instead of the bumper, and I’ll chain the rack and bicycles to the bolt. Brilliant.
           Before you think I have a conspiracy theory, listen to this. I called up a lawyer today to ask about the status of my overseas work as it pertains to Social Security. No big deal, just a couple of procedural questions, as in which do I declare first? This is one of the top lawyers in his field and he advised me to not discuss such things over the telephone due to Homeland Security. What does he know that we don’t? Until I know that, the license plates get blotted just to see who worries about it. Myself, I could care less, but I also listen to fair warning.
           Never again will I ever own a Brother printer, but for now I’m stuck with my investment. I biked six miles to Office Bunker to discover they only had one refill kit left and it had been damaged. So I took it to the counter saying I’d give then five bucks for it. The assistant manager came out of the back. I took one look at her and knew she’d say no. Sure enough, she decided to send it back for “full credit”. Lady, that is the kind of decision you make over a $150 hard drive or $200 flat screen. Not an $11 refill kit.
           I’m not finished griping about Brother. The company goes through lengths to make their cartridges difficult to refill. Not only do you need to drill an access hole, the cartridges (which show empty on-screen) always leak a substantial amount of ink when removed. Liars. The biggest con is how the entire printer fails when any one of the four cartridges reads empty. Thus, your high capacity black is held hostage when you run out of blue. You can trick it however, by filling the offending cartridge full of rubbing alcohol. But how many people know even how to go to that length?
           Bill, my former student, decided to volunteer at the Joe DiMaggio Children’s Hospital. He’s a retired electronics engineer who speaks four languages. He didn’t mind the TB tests and background checks. But when they told him it was going to cost him $35 to be a volunteer, he walked. And rightly so. No matter how badly people can get sold on themselves, you don’t go charging people $35 to help out. Way to go, DiMaggio. Too dumb to figure out a volunteers time is worth much more than $35 anyway.
           The daily crossword puzzle stumped everyone with the clue, “112 letters” since last Saturday. Hey, I wasn’t in since I wasn’t playing. I dropped in to check on my equipment and solved the thing is four minutes. The answer is “CXII”. Gotcha!