This is the classic photo of tedium. A caterpillar on an infinite loop. I saw this poor tyke on the patio this morning and let him go around in circles. Who am I to interrupt the Florida cycle of life? The rim of the cup was just long enough to confuse him into thinking he was moving in a straight line. This is where you insert the obvious allusion to my musical career.
I conducted several impromptu surveys to determine the direction to go with my act. The decision to not play Jimbos for at least a month was mine. It is time to practice intensely, bringing my act into this century. That is where a friend, Denise, comes into the scene.This is the black lady who I talked with about potentially starting a duo (remember “The Johnson Twins”) before she had a bout with breast cancer. She is giving me an old Karaoke machine which has a broken output jack. I know I’ve got a spare jack around here and Fred used to be a television repairman. Denise also has an immense collection of Karaoke discs, both midi and cd+g, close to 10,000 tunes. For the record, I was heavily complimented on my singing last Thursday. That's a bloody first.
Jules, the lady patron of Jimbos, had an interesting episode fifteen years ago. She was bopping to the warm up tunes at a concert in Oregon, much like she does to a favorite tune when I’m playing. This black dude joins in and they dance up a storm to the cheers of the crowd. Later, when she goes to sit down as the concert starts, all these people ask her how long she’s known BB King.
Pudding-Tat worries me, her not eating. It could be instinct since they don’t make a kill every day in the jungle. So I’ve looked up a chart of equivalent cat ages. Did you know at 1 year, they are like people at 16? She was born in mid-2006, so that puts her at 32 on this varying scale. How does that compare to human females? In most ways, she is better off. She is slim, light-footed, looks great in a fur coat and does not have four teeth missing. And she gets to sleep with me.
Did you know the average woman at 32 is missing four teeth? That, and more trivia, for I was at the library. Do you know why doctors wear surgical masks? If you are like me, you thought it was to protect him or herself against all the sick people they encounter. Nope. It is to protect the patient from contamination.
I also found out the reason behind that system of two part jar lids. You know, the canning jars that have that separate disk and screw cap. So when you lose the disk, the jar has no lid. Turns out this arrangement is also to prevent contamination. No matter how well made, the disk warps a little and it is meant to be disposed after a single use. I have never canned anything, but I did find Kraft Dinner on sale at 27 cents each. Isn’t that the universal survival food? At that price, I may find out if Pudding-Tat likes it.
Then, I read a passage about a passage. The early explorers who rounded Africa were Portuguese, the Diaz and De Gama crowd. Part of their mission was to find Prester John, a mythical Ethiopian king (back when all of Africa was called Ethiopia). Sometimes myths are based on fact, but this one I am certain is a hoax. When they (the Portuguese) reached India, they mistook the populace for Christian, the type of judgmental error not repeated until Viet Nam, income taxes and the space shuttle. Finally, one inspired sailor took a closer look at Hindu religion and wrote, “(they) have so many foolish tales about their idols, such as it is out of reason for men to believe.”
For the benefit of those without the time to study the subject, I’ll break down Hinduism for you. There are three main gods, and eight million minor deities. Plenty to go around. Enough for all. Really. The major players are Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. If I was as busy as they are, I’d need three heads and eight arms, but they already thought of that. It is simple. Brahma created the “everything”, for which he needs to be thanked continuously.
Accepting that much gratitude takes time (googles of millenium, that's the origin of the word "google" in a sense), so Vishnu has to protect and preserve this “everything”. It costs money to protect everything, right Congress, so to justify the budget, one has to create and enemy. Enter Shiva, who, for reasons unknown, is lurking nearby, ready to pounce and destroy the “everything”. This is the basis of belief for a billion people and at least as many movie plots.
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