I was also right in front of the Ripley’s Museum on the first turn I took. Maps are okay, but they detract from spontaneity. By 8:30 AM I stopped for groceries and was back in time for the free morning coffee at the office. I see now I could have got a place for the same price right downtown. I’m staying here, however, you know me once I get settled. Of all I saw this morning, the only attraction for me is that old fort, which is walking distance. After that, this is just another tourist town.The tourist brochures cover the highlights and I notice none of them quote prices. You now have to log onto dickweed dot com and go through that meat grinder to plan your day. These people can’t just tell you the price until they get to know a little more about you. The fort is free, the parking isn’t. They must share a town council with Ft. Lauderdale. But I’m already far enough under budget to plan something special for tomorrow. But what!
It got more than windy by mid-morning so I drove to the fortress, Castillo San Carlos. With that marketing skill typical of those without the benefit of a higher education, the ticket booth is 300 feet away from where you pay to park, all an uphill walk. Then they hit you for $6. Some people cannot stand being honest and up front about things. I’m not saying it should be free, I’m saying if there is a price it should be posted on the front gate so you don’t get stung twice.
Once inside there is enough to keep everyone gawking. There is a kitchen, chapel, armory, parade ground, powder magazine, and something that made me sneeze after a hundred years of non-use, the latrine. It flushed itself at high tide. So they say. The layout is impressive for the time and Spain spent a lot of money on the place. Stolen Aztec gold money, that is. They used local shellstone which did not shatter when hit with cannonballs, rather absorbed them like a sponge.
Sadly, my helmet cam is not as reliable as I’d like and you will miss a conversation I had with two Chinese ladies, in Cantonese. And I’ll miss the part where they say they are from Boynton and state they have never heard a white guy with such a perfect accent. But, no proof, so maybe next time. The bronze cannons are remarkable and look like they could be fired today. The iron cannons look like they’ve been salvaged from the ocean bottom.
I crawled through the hatch to see the magazine. Actually, the fort was about 1.5th storage area of some kind and they had a massive well about 15 feet in diameter.inside the walls. The corners of the fort each have a small observation tower and one is larger than the rest, serving as a lighthouse and a way to signal across the bay where apparently there is a smaller fort at the harbor entrance.
When fully equipped, the fort likely had some 30 cannon on the walls and another 8 mortars for indirect fire. The ranger and I talked, he says the design is Italian, but if so, they must have stolen it from the French, in my opinion. Those Europeans can behave worse than MicroSoft when it comes to stealing the other man’s tackle. Without blasting a hole through the wall, there is only one entrance, and that is shielded from direct fire by a special barrier.
Afterward, I drove through the entire central area again. It was better in the morning when deserted. The restored area is not houses or museums, but art studios and overpriced cafes. I did see a guy playing a didgeridoo, so I hope he isn’t the sort that bores easily. There were the usual paintings on the sidewalks and musicians with a city license to perform. No, there was not even one good-looking woman in the crowd. Just behind the heritage houses is a buffer zone of five blocks that look like leftovers from the civil war.That’s forty miles I put on the scooter just around town and I do believe I’ve seen what there is to see. I even followed one of the tour trolleys and saved myself $22. It was okay, but I probably saw more from the scooter since the trolley stopped at every second hotel. The southernmost part of town is not unlike military barracks.
Of all the disappointments, I forgot that I not only get jet lag, I get reverse jet lag in addition to refreshing sleep. By late afternoon, I was exhausted to the core, a fatigue that randomly affects me the day after I arrive. You can’t imagine this type of tired, it’s like your bones get exhausted inside out. For all the plans I made, it’s going to be a 15 hours in the sack for me or I’ll be off balance for a week. It is also a sure sign that I’m immensely enjoying this holiday.
