Note: We now know where that ignorance stems from (most bassists are failed guitarists who already knew the music or took bass indoctrination lessons from a guitarist). Tonight the tables were turned. The crowd roared with laughter as the best jazz musicians in the joint repeatedly failed to follow my three-chord bass runs. Even when they found the correct chords, they gave familiar music the wrong sound. Goofs, and when I show up with a drum machine, they are in serious doo-doo.Back to the new band. Seriously, all working bands are a major commitment. This band is more similar to my teenage formations than I've done lately. That is neither good nor bad, what matters is how soon and often we play out. No concessions have been made to trio work, that is, everybody in this band is playing one part, which is fine. Trent and I are considerably more advanced in providing the best show possible by arranging the music. This trio is musician-managed and sounds it.
Which brings me to the last of tonight. Bingo was meh, so I went out touring for Memorial Day. I hit three music clubs. I say again, I learned early and often what it was like to lose out to the less talented and less deserving. Not because they were right and I was wrong, but because they had gear and idle time while my lot was grunt farm labor. I know the same happens today and it’s not the lucky one’s fault. But nor did I ever say it was. I can I’m disappointed how few of the lucky ones ever got off their asses.
The point is my new act will put some of them out of business. I’m watching the ones who play what they like instead of for the audience. My music isn’t perfect, but it reads the crowd. That can’t happen when they’re playing the same music daddy paid for fifty years ago. Now for the first time in my life, I have the resources to compete and I’m finding I can do more than that. I can dominate.
I guess I’ve been through the crucible. I realize now I needed something I was never allowed before in my life: five uninterrupted years to learn to sing and play bass at the same time. Soon we shall see how wisely I used that time. It isn't a simple question of dedication, for I can verify that without being able to sing, even the finest bassists are rarely in any position to call the shots.
Tonight I stood in with a highly-touted jazz guitarist who could not follow a two-chord special, a big-time singer who forgot the words to “Jambalaya”, and two Karaoke pros who still have to read the lyrics. I’m not ruthless, in the sense these people won’t starve. (It’s not like they’ll have to become farm laborers.) Rather they get bumped out of the better paying venues. And I have my little list of exactly which rooms I’m targeting.
And one more thing. It was never the hard work on the farm that got me. Only a fool suggests I shun hard work. What disgusted me about it was the hopelessness.
As for last evening, Alman, the drummer, collects guitars. It’s a novelty meeting such a person because we share the same dislike of “guitaritis” (men who think guitar is the supreme instrument and they are self-anointed messengers). I like the way he put it that bass fretboards should end at the twelfth fret. That’s to stop guitar players from picking it up the bass and claiming they are fantastically better than the bass player.
You heard the joke about the kid who took bass lessons? His dad asked him what he learned and the kid says the “E” string. The next week, he says the “A” string. The third week his dad asks, “Did you learn the “D” string?” The kid says, “Heck no. I got a gig.”
ADDENDUM
Today’s Dear Abby had a letter from Wyoming titled, “Where the boys aren’t.” With laughing disbelief I read some ladies “in our late 40s and early 50s” complain there are “almost no single middle-aged men”. Abby, naturally, gave them the usual useless advice, although she did correctly state most men in that age group are “looking for younger women”.
But Abby got everything else wrong. By the late 40s, the rules of the dating game are mostly reversed. At that age, even sex won’t sell itself like it used to. It’s time to pay attention to what the man gets for his time and money. What have you ladies done in the past ten years to correct the reasons you are single in the first place? Have you cleaned up your act? If not, have you learned to sing? Or do you still stand there hoping to be swept off your feet?
The chuckle has to be the lady stating that single men must stay home watching “bad cable”. (If that were true, why isn’t she looking there?) Something is dreadfully wrong with her approach or expectations. She states they’ve “tried everything” but I’ll wager that did not involve walking over and introducing herself. There probably isn’t a man in America who, if directly approached, would say no to a woman that offered him a pizza and can of Budweiser if he’d take her home. These women are considering only selfish wants.
So, to prove I’m more practical than Dear Abby, here is some advice you ladies can use. If the men are looking for younger women, do what men do and be “the last person standing”. Be there, ready and willing, when all the pretty ones are picked off. Drunks will approach any woman past last call. And Sally, if you got tattoos, quit bitching when you get hit on by men who like that kind of trashy thing. You started it.
To show I’m not all sarcasm, I also advise women to have a split up plan. That’s right, when one of you gets hit on and you intend to go for it, the other finds some excuse to get effing lost. Most men over 16 years old know better than to chat up the both of you. Oh, and if you are having more than a couple drinks, start buying your own, dammit. Yeah, yeah, we know the men used to buy you drinks all night. But they are long gone and you are still here, kapeesh?
And last, ladies, men are onto the marriage scam. So the best option may be a FWB arrangement. You can share companionship, you can pay your own bills, but your every tomorrow depends on today. Trust me, if you are worth anything like what you think you are, you’ll get all the men you ever dreamed of.
And on that note, the ONLY time either of you is free to see others is when you have separate places. The ONE male allowed in my home space when I’m not around is your father. Shame, at your age, you need to be told.
