Let me tell you, I have been to so many church picnics like you don’t know. There are really no better chances there than standing at a bus stop. These functions are dominated by semi-happy married couples. Most of those invariably met up before their early 20’s and know nothing about dating. There were 400 people present but as far as single, available women, it was about the same as anywhere else. Nothing. I had a fantastic time. We were there six hours (some of that was the club meeting). Such picnics are the only exclusive events of any size left, which is nice. There were many seniors present who commented a lot about the bounty of food, that there was so much food for so few people. True, but in my experience, most starving people, and for that matter, most poor people, most dumb people, and most crazy people have a seriously different set of beliefs than I do. Those who believe capitalism, Christianity, and country music are bad things need to change before they’ll get my dollar.
And on that happy note, guess who won the prize for best stage personality tonight? No amount of effort will ever turn Buddy’s into a country bar, but it is right on the way home from my Saturday gig and I know most of the crowd from around town. This new Karaoke guy has song lists of hundreds of people and songs I’ve never heard of. So I did a few of the standards and it was the applause that voted me in.
See the electric tennis ball? It isn’t really. Working on the old paddle ball principle, you whack it and it returns because of the elastic and weighted base. But it is super slow even I could win. I advised M to double the elastic up. Tennis for singles. See the nano-fiber strings. They are weightless and stronger than steel. They cost $300. That’s why they call it a racket, my friend.Everybody is saying the Canadians are back. Where? Not at the beach. Not at bingo. Not downtown. And certainly not in this trailer court which has only one of the seasonal pads rented. Instead of all ten. Okay, everybody is asking, so if you read this far, I’ll tell you. Yes. There was one good looking blonde gal at the picnic. I didn’t hit on her but I caught her looking at me, so I talked to her for a few minutes. She seemed kind of nice in a sheltered roundabout way.
But she had a chilly personality. I wrapped it up wishing her a good time at the social. Later, several of the bachelors told me they were impressed that I was even able to chat with her, saying I must have such tenacity (though it wasn’t like that at all). I asked what they meant, to which they all said the same thing. She is the most unapproachable woman in the group. My assessment is that while she was tougher than she needed to be, I don’t think that makes her a bad person. It’s that to get along with me, ladies, you gotta have sparkle, you gotta have that charm. Element X.
I met another lady at the coffee machine. It quit working and nobody could figure it out. Jim Dandy to the rescue. I have a little recent experience with such contraptions, you know. It took a few minutes but I was aided by the control pad full of icons instead of instructions. Five coffee beans must mean a stronger brew than four, says my robot brain. And they had two buttons for mugs. Why two? Ah, one must be to grind the beans. I found the hopper, and sure enough, the feed mech was jammed up. That made me the hero of the moment and the lady turned out to be Agt. M’s mother’s sister. That’s the other thing church picnics are good for. Relatives all over the place.
Yep, six hours we were there.
