Downtown is all refurbished or in the process thereof. Including the dumpy places, but you can tell instantly if you cross the wrong road. The city was planned with a park every four blocks, so there are like twenty of these “squares” and they do an admirable job of keeping the traffic away. The place is swamped with tourists, most of whom are not anywhere near as photogenic as we are.I toured most of the better spots, including “Forrest Gump” park, where they filmed the scene with the floating feather. (FYI, the bench was a movie prop, there is nothing there today.) I had a pizza slice at the famous Vinnie’s a GoGo, where I met a gal who is just too young to know when to break the age rules. I then biked along the riverfront, consisting of tour boats, bars and t-shirt stores. I liked it.
The city is a port but I would not say bustling. It’s a muddy brown river too swift for swimming or small craft. The fun part of the touristy section is the far west end. I rented a bicycle from a spritely gal named Carolyn, who had never before heard the expression “MLFK Boulevard”, but sigh, that is why when two like us meet they call it “destiny”. I pedaled near my limit of seven miles, which took in most of the high spots. The best attraction is that river walk, where I intend to return.
By historical chance, the riverfront faces directly north on a bank around sixty feet tall. So the shops are in the shade during the hottest part of the day. The street is paved with cobblestones once used as ships ballast. That makes for a rough ride; they won’t need any speed humps there. No parking anyway, but if you are lucky enough to find a spot, downtown is free parking on weekends.Don’t, however, ride your bike through those mini-parks. It could cost you $180, which makes one wonder how come, with all that money skimmed off unsuspecting tourists, could they not put up some signs that people could see? And in Georgia, wear your motorcycle helmet. There are horse-drawn carts which give some of the intersections an aroma that farmers used to call “money”, but the streets remain clean.
Anything new? No. I did see a theater I’ll check into time permitting. I tipped a street sax player a dollar, you know me, big patron of the Arts. So far, this has been an excellent budget holiday but it is becoming clear I have done the majority of free things in one day. A motorcycle is very handy on the narrow roads, but at times I had to park and stand upright on the sidecar to navigate and get my bearings. That can attract attention from the less than imaginative onlookers.I talked with a guy who ran one of those pedal pubs, the idea I rejected because of the $49,000 price tag. He swung a deal for the drive train and transmission only for $40,000 and reports pulling in as much as $2,000 per day. But not every day, which is another reason I balked. These machines require storage and maintenance plus operating costs. More to the point, I asked him how the city council had reacted when they realized they had a novel cash flow business with no means to place a usage tax.
He rolled his eyes, saying it had become an endless string of petty regulations and bylaws designed to do two things. Squeeze him for fees and watch him like a hawk. I thought so, and I got five bucks says the person behind it all is an Englishman. This happened to me when I was twenty-one. City Hall aggravates you but they won’t just come out and say they want to know your income so they can tax you to the limit. He’s had to change his routes, hours, and policies over matters he cannot control or understand. Like the decibel levels of his passengers.Later, I went to the river front and walked from end to end. There was a country bar, but they demanded a five dollar cover before the band started and picture ID to enter. “Saddlebags”, you just lost a customer. The ID thing is some city ordinance which inconveniences everyone instead of the wrongdoers, another English concept. It also breeds acceptance of showing ID before entering a drinking premises, something nobody wants. Want to stop the teen boozing? Reward the bouncers and doormen $25 for each one they catch. But they never do it that way because that does not involve watching everyone, which is what they are really after.
I went out. Not for lack of trying but I did not enjoy sitting on a bar stool spending money. I was again a face in the crowd, embarrassed by all the undisciplined and impolite riff-raff. I found a place with a live music but all I could see was women were watching the band. Face it, even on holidays I cannot go out like other men do. It just isn’t me.
It got me thinking of Julia, this lady I knew. We got along 90% great together but could not socialize as a couple. We were both working class. She lived in a condo; I lived in a basement suite. But she had an overwhelming impetus to appear upper middle class while I tend shun all people who put on airs. She viewed those groups as people to visit with; I viewed them as potential audiences with a professional distance.
I would quickly find the one or two in the crowd that were for real, which Julia saw as slumming it. She was right in the sense that I’d be soon associating with the inventor, the musician, the writer, or you might say professions where one is either rich or poor and it’s not my fault there are more poor than rich. All she saw was the poor. Ah, but she remains the only woman I miss from back west. Yep, I miss her.
ADDENDUM
This is about the motel. Because it is such a treat, I must say the Inn at Mulberry Grove more than a visit. I’m getting a great rate as a repeat customer from the motel in St. Augustine, the same place I drove my red scooter on my birthday in 2011. The rooms here are bigger than my house. Also, I let the staff know that I need minimal room service, which they appreciate. From the maid’s reaction, I take it there are very few gringos around here who speak rapid-fire Spanish with a perfect accent. In kind, she keeps my coffee brewer well-stocked with decaf. It is a major run into town, but I don’t mind.
Congratulations to the goof who walked into the breakfast area and sneezed all over the crowd. Within 15 minutes, the entire room caught your flu. Looks, buddy, like you made your mark in life again. And I had just got over the last one. But he has an ugly wife, so what do you expect? I was there alone until he came in an hour later at 7:00 AM.
How come silver always takes a plunge whenever I go on holidays? It’s a conspiracy, I’m telling you. That is when I am least able to tap into my (now overflowing) reserves. That is when the losers panic and sell. And I behave exactly the opposite of losers, is all I’m sayin’ about that. Monday is the soonest I can act, but silver is below $26 for the first time since 2011.
