December 15, 2014

           I double dare the New York Times to quote me on this:

"The Class of '91 will be go down in history as the generation that transformed the computer from a scientific instrument into a masturbation aid." -- Tales From The Trailer Court, 2014.

MORNING
           Fewer mornings have found me more listless. I’ve got a dozen chores to do but I don’t feel like it. It’s a nothing Monday, I’ll find something to do, maybe up to the thrift store, maybe make some doodads on the new scroll saw. But today will be a challenge to keep me occupied, it’s the mood I woke up in. How about you? Oh, yeah? Sorry to hear that and my advice is play it by ear.

           Anyone recognize this lady? It’s Grayson, from the 1953 Bond movie, “Dr. No”. Bond movie number 24, “Spectre”, is due to be released November 2015. Rumor has it parts of it are already available on-line. And then there’s that persistent report that certain colleges are offering evening courses for beginners on how to turn off an iPad using just one’s fingertips. And don’t you just hate it when people generalize all the time?
           Here are some links to nowhere, really.

                      Useless Machines
                      Invisible Man
                      Perpetual Motion

           The question remains, what will I do to pass the time today? This can be a tough question for the truly retired. As opposed to the other kind, who can be found stocking the shelves at Wiggly Piggly on graveyard shift. Maybe the library or the beach. But you won’t find me up at the donut shop talking race horses or wandering the aisles at Target. Come to think of it, if I did wander aisles, I’d choose some place classy, like Home Depot or Harbor Freight. And if I’m really nice, I’ll reveal what last evening’s Dupont photo is. Have you taken another look?

NOON
           I’ve notice a lot of contemporary music is written in chords like C5 and F5. This doesn’t make a lot of sense musically, so I looked it up. Ah, now I see, it is mainly for guitar work. Wasn’t it twenty years ago I said guitar players hate 3rds, and it is essentially a regular chord with the 3rd omitted. While I would not mind if most guitarists left out all the notes, you can always find odd chords or any chords at the exact place I do. Go to: 8 notes.

           I know I said I’d avoid the chores, but all my guitar cables are fixed. I’m going downtown before I start repairing things. I want an extra day off and I want it now. I wound up driving the five miles to ABC to discover it is no longer a thrift, but a “vintage” store. Cancel that, I next find out that Professor Oz did, in fact, pass away three months ago. He was not looking that well the last time we met for coffee at the bakery.
           And here is a photo of the US-Canadian border. Taken just as the guy on the left opened his garage door. As for today, essentially, I went out to spend some money, splurge shopping, but could not even find a butter dish. My hunt for a glass butter dish has produced no results in weeks. It must be glass, not acrylic, [in order] to keep the butter at exactly the correct consistency. Try it yourself, I’m right on this one.
           Later, Trent calls to report the flu has not abated so no rehearsal tonight. Instead, I took considerable notice of the fact that there is nothing out there to instruct anyone how to arrange bass and acoustic. You can bet this discovery is getting full attention around here. I’m still amazed that such a topic is not even represented on the ‘Net.

EVENING
           Here is another ad from the Dupont Registry. It is actually an ad for a subscription to the magazine itself, but I'd say it's in keeping with the rest of their philosophy. Failing to find my butter dish this afternoon, I stopped in at the nearest tavern to my place. As I walked in, I heard the barmaid asking a customer (about his false teeth), "Where is it you keep putting them that you keep losing them?"

           Now that was the convoluted question for the day. Not to be outdone, I had to come up with the convoluted statement of the day. Try this: I did not practice guitar like I thought, so, "I'd rather not be able to play guitar than not be able to play in a band."
           Instead, I stayed in and wrote letters to the few people to whom I still write letters. I sat on the porch, since the warm weather is returning. And wondering if two apples a day will keep two doctors away. What's the relevance to doctors? Still no word back from the clinic on my last round of tests, so this time it is something serious. If I kick off, this will put a serious dent in this blog. Although I am not the only contributor, I'm the only one of us that can type fast enough. And the only one who can take even half-decent photos, so that explains another thing.

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Today’s Togla Treat
Seeks man with bazooka.

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