MORNING
Here is some advice for the day:
1) When using airport parking don’t leave anything in the car with your home address.
2) Never put your home address on a GPS. Use a nearby address, like the library*.
3) Do not use relationship tags on your cell phone call list. Like “Mom”, “Boss”, or “Sweetie”.
4) Never tell a taxi driver you are leaving town for a while. Particularly not a Seattle taxi driver.
Okay, here’s a joke. This Jewish guy sees this funeral procession. One hearse, then a second hearse, then an Italian man with a dog on a leash, then 200 men in single file. Curiosity gets the better of him and he asks the Italian if this is a custom.
“Not at all,” explains the Italian. “My wife is in the first hearse. She yelled at me and the dog attacked and killed her.”
“Who’s in the second hearse?” asked the Jew.
Replied the Italian. “My mother-in-law. She went to defend my wife and the dog killed her, too.”
The Jew thinks for a moment and asks, “Can I borrow that dog?
The Italian says, “Get in line.”
NOON
There’s something I didn’t know. During the last two years of the Second World War, when German tanks forged their reputations, there were never on average more than 400 tanks in operation on the German side. And on the Russian front, that endless battle line from the Baltic to the Black Sea, there were rarely more than 70 of the Tiger tanks at work.
"I just quite smoking", or "My wife is pregnant". Those are lines for stand-up comedians to get cheap applause. My last band played the last gig exactly the same way we played the first one. Which is not wrong, not at all, they did not recognize any other way. Did I tell you they once let me introduce the band, then never again? (The audience instantly picked up that I was a natural on the microphone, but did not have a microphone to sing.)
Consider this: I’m the second to admit I am not the best musician in any Florida band. The first to admit it is always the guitarist. They generally admit it by stating they are the better musician. Besides, "bass is easy", right? And they have infinitely better taste in music. Or did they already admit that, too?
We covered a ton of theory. It took the form of bass lines easy to fit to stock country tunes. But always with the added flair of the best-looking way to play each. Yes, over the years, I’ve learned how to emphasize the best bass tactics. I consider this not showing off, but showmanship, similar to how some guitar players act. Except I don’t make horrible faces when bending notes.
We retired over to the redneck pub for a few afterward. Trent has not been in the neighborhood long enough to spot the drift, but that place is already changing from a tough bar to a more mellow club with the influx of our crowd. That’s since the closure of the last two traditional watering holes on Dixie. Like the original Jimbos, you now actually find single women in there, something unheard of in S. Florida since the 90s.
The other change [in that bar] is the amount of country music on the jukebox. You still get the old men who play punk music, but they are now outnumbered. And I’ve often said the reason all the area clubs are rock and blues is because there is always a core group of regulars to dominate the selection. In a sense, that makes this one bar kind of exclusive in this area.
EVENING
Hang on. It is 1:37AM and I'm working on this portion. Remember that tomorrow is the last Togla Treat. And it is near the end of our twelve days of Dupont. Only four more of those left, I think we've had eight already. Whatever, it's not like this blog is some kind of commitment. I simply like to write.
Change of plans, writing the following was so much fun, I'm leaving it in first form, the way it poured itself onto my keyboard. Enjoy.
Q. Why are French tanks so expensive?
A: The wine dispenser, the 27 speed reverse gearbox, the white flag deployment device, and the loudspeaker which broadcasts “We surrender!” in nine languages, two of which are German.
No, the French tank, the AMX-56, is not in the Dupont Registry. But it belongs there. I’ll bet the upholstery is something to behold. Seriously, for their own sake, I hope they build their tanks better than they do their cars. For those seeking enlightenment, I should point out the $9.3 million price tag was based on one sale to the United Arab Emirates. (The on-line site that claims it was $27 million is completely false.) Rumor is the standard price tag is more like around $8.5 million. But still, the Perrier-filled Jacuzzi really sets it apart.
For those seeking a bargain, the Indian Ajun sells for $3.8 million. But when it breaks down, nobody knows who to call for tech support. Har-dee-har-har. Seriously now, the highly-rated Abrams is not a bargain considering the long string of support and repair vehicles needed to keep it in action. And also, the heavy American reliance on satellite data, drones, reconnaissance, and tank-busting aircraft all serve to disguise the huge number of shortcomings inherent in all American tank designs.
But I would agree with the philosophy that the best tank is the one you are inside when you need it.
The photo above? That's just my reply to the gang that want to keep the "Christ" in "Christmas".
Today’s Togla Treat
I didn't know airlines accepted food stamps.
Note to Ken: Library. That’s a large building full of books. What? You know, those things other people read. What? It’s a skill you learn in school. What? That’s a large building full of students . . . Oh, hell, I give up, go take your Karate lesson. Or something.
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