April 24, 2015

Yesteryear
One year ago today: April 24, 2014, begin Nova fiasco.
Five years ago today: April 24, 2010, 4,372 hits.
My top post of all time.
Six years ago today: April 24, 2009, Me? Sing?

MORNING
           The decision is made. No house this year unless a bargain falls out of the sky, bounces three times, and lands in my lap on the rebound. If I didn’t say, only eight properties in my range came on the market this spring, that at least twenty-five fewer than expected. Hence, it was Miami time this morning to go over the situation with JZ. What happens when I don’t buy is his matching funds get freed up for another year.

           That’s also where you see these massive breakfast platters. These are social occasions as well, so we took a look at other options. But JZ still has limited experience traveling. He has never taken his truck out of town except when we made an excursion and he will not travel without what I consider to be overkill funding.
           He still is in disbelief that I once went to South America with $135 to my name. So there is no chance he will decide to leave town unless it is with his truck or on the airplane. Not even the train (Amtrak) up to Winter Haven. As far as motorcycle travel, forget that, he won’t do it.
           This morning, we went to the Denny’s by the University. JZ informs me that there is a medical school on that campus. I never knew that and I like to visit Universities that have that faculty. He says it may only be the first two years, but they would still have to keep up standards to even offer that. Of all the times I’ve been past there, I never saw anything that looked like a hospital, but he further says that portion is located over at Jackson Memorial. I learn something every day.
           He works Fridays, so I split for home and got back here just past noon. And discovered I did have the $80 left in my account, which is the gasoline budget for the batbike, which is right now slouched in my back yard awaiting the new generator. So, what kind of adventure can I come up with for eighty bucks? Work with me on this one. Remember, food and entertainment is budgeted extra, you don’t have to worry about that. I just need to get somewhere interesting to spend it.
           I got this craving for some coconut meat, so I tried to crack the coconut Fred gave me from his tree. No way. That thing defies technology. My machete simply glances off the husk. This is the first time I have failed at shelling a coconut. I was wondering why Fred used a hatchet, which is one implement I do not have. So lets’ see who is tougher in the long run. Me or that coconut.

NOON

           “The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it is their fault.” --Henry Kissinger. And he ought to know.

           To the beach. This is my old stomping grounds, the Walkabout. And here is that guitar player who plays about the same skill level as I do.* When I listen to his set, I can imagine myself playing all the missing bass lines, so he is definitely connecting with the audience. I’ve met the guy’s wife a few times and she confirms that he just likes to get out and play.

           To me, the fact that the audience likes it is clear vindication of my theory that people “just want to be entertained”. He chords his way through a lot of the material, all of it guitar classics. To me that is ho-hum, but then I noticed he has successfully incorporated a vocal harmonizer into his act.
           It comes across at first as heavy reverb, but if he ever sings off-key (we all do), you notice the machine has difficultly picking out what to do. Hence, this is a fundamentally different gizmo than what I checked in 2012. I wonder if it is the [same] rig that certain, ahem, professional singers have been using live on stage during their concert performances? Like artificial flavorings, the Millenials will learn to prefer the fake.
           Anyway, this guy needs a nickname, so for now we’ll call him Kenth, like “tenth” but with a “K”. Some would say he is so bad he is good, but I say he’s got precisely the right idea. And, like my act, it turns the Walkabout Tiki into the only “user-friendly” pub along the beachfront.
           Most other places that have entertainment tend to hire these “showcase” bands. One such group was across the roadway at the Marriott, and they started an hour early with their Eagles and Dire Straits leftover music. Which pretty much ruined the last set of Kenth’s show.
           Like most guitarists who can solo, he works alone. I know he has jammed with Iggy, but Iggy is totally backing tracks. You have to play each song identically each round. So there is little chance of working together but he is precisely the type of guitar player that I can make sound fantastic. The guy who generally strums and fills in a few licks. But not to many licks because it breaks the beat. And that is where my “rhythm bass” comes to the rescue.

EVENING
           I wanted some paint that I could see while the gears were spinning, and this is what I got. How would you describe this color? It’s from the Walmart “used paint” department. The label says citrus green. In fact, let me read this label. Acrylic latex enamel. With durable covermax technology, it says here, ideal for indoor, outdoor metal, wood, and more. Soap and water cleanup. Well, that’s about as dandy a can of paint as you’ll find in 2015.

           After sunset was a bit of an episode. What would you do if someone you met a few months ago suddenly appeared in a different setting and got friendly? Who remembers that lady—well, hold on, that reminder isn’t important. It’s a lady who snubbed me. Tonight she showed up and handed me the line that she “didn’t know” I was a musician and a “scientist”. So I listened to what she had to say and left.
           She said she thought I was a bar-fly when we first met. Really? I smile because she’s seen me some twenty times since then. Just never on stage. No, folks, I want a woman who can tell the difference at the moment we meet. I guess I didn’t hit on her as much as what she’s used to. But she makes her point, I didn’t slobber. I recall that night. She glanced a few times over my shoulder at some guy showing off at the pool table. How was I to compete with Mr. Big Important Man and his ring of keys a-jingle?
           I heard this one, what does “boat” stand for? “Bring out another thousand.”
           I didn’t stick around tonight. Just long enough to think what I could get done with the $80 mentioned above. And thanks to whoever came by this afternoon while I was napping and left that slab of maple veneer plywood. I’m not skilled enough to make anything from it, so it is just another piece of lumber. But thanks. It sure is purdy.

ADDENDUM
           If you notice above, this date in 2010 represents my most famous post in the history of this work. I just never knew that so many people were interested in Arizona Bill 1070. And no, I have not seen Holly since the shop. She was quite the little housewife, you know. Speaking of the shop, did I mention y’day when my sidecar broke down at the supplier store, everybody remembered me. Don’t say anything, but nobody remembered Fred.
           The update on the batbike is that it does require pulling the motor to replace the generator, so the mechanic is going to have a general inspection of the entire machine. Without this step, I’m in greater danger of pouring good money after bad. At my age, nostalgia results in a lot of crazy old men who won’t let go, but that is not the process at work here. I’m spending hundreds to avoid the outlay of thousands which might result in a vehicle that puts me right back where I am.
           Factor in that I have no desire to own a car. In the long run, a car takes 25% of your take-home income. It is common to find people who put 10,000 miles per year on a car driving to work and shopping. A more inefficient system is hard to devise. Over the past five years, I know that I travel 66 miles per week on average. That is still a lot when placed in the overall scheme of things. But America is designed to require a car. My biggest hassle these days is when I have to ride the bus. A first world problem, they say.

*Of course, I mean my skill level on the guitar. What did you think I meant?


Last Laugh
Togla the Turk, playing outside.

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