This is not your usual Cuban lady. She had just slapped her own behind, kind of letting us know she knew we were staring. I’d say she was far more Venezuelan than Cuban. There is a difference you know. I have investigated the Venezuela variety, and it is much firmer.
Finally, JZ and I made it to Calle Ocho. This is the massive Cuban party on SW 8th. It is really more of a get-together, just that it involves close to a million people. Not all at once, but over the entire day. We means JZ and I. He has never been there in his 50 years. Several times there was grid lock which means there were so many people that nobody could move for minutes at a time. There was more Latina boobs and butts hanging out it was like watching a live beer commercial.We were there six hours even though JZ was late getting out of church. There is some bishop doing mass, two religious terms I do not understand. JZ is neat to have around Miami since he knows where all the free parking is. We took the Taurus. Calle Oche (Eighth Street) is in south Miami. One day each year they seal off twenty blocks along the eastern portion. And I really mean seal off, there are guardposts and foot patrols. Stats say a million people attend, although I personally know what a million looks like and it was more like 310,000 at any given time. This is plenty to cause gridlock for minutes at a time. That is probably very dangerous and no place for anyone who fears crowds because you really have to press the flesh. You have to find designated side streets to leave the area, there is no place to sit down, and it costs a dollar to pee.
Sadly, I must report that there were very few single women there between 18 and 35. That is authentic South Florida, right there. I had the video in a blind so I there is plenty of footage to back up this claim. We specifically went down there to meet women but I do not advise it. What few good-looking women were around acted superficially friendly and knew the score. I blame television on all this behavior. Food. Unbelievable food, and it is also unbelievable expensive. You’d think that would be the one thing available at less than restaurant rates. No sir, it was $8 to $10 per (paper) plate, which for future generations works out to almost twice minimum wage. I never pay more than a half-hours income to eat out, and I’ve had some damn good meals in my time. Calle Ocho is not the place to bargain hunt.
ADDENDUM
The side streets contain band shells with the hired help pumping out those far-too-loud Latin American disco rhythms. I like loud, what I do not like is cheap, speaker-rattling sound. The media was everywhere. Robot cameras, helicopters and interviews on the curbside. Otherwise, there is no theme to the party. The food vendors and trinket sellers are identical to any other side-show in the country. No special events or displays. JZ loves the free samples. Let me look in the bag and see the haul. We got Doublemint Gum, insect repellent, a day-glo Frisbee, anti-acid pills, two coupons to a spoof on Fidel Castro and a bottle of Coke with lime.
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