Roland, the guy next door is gone. He sure does go all out for keeping his place nice-looking. Take a look at these flowers along his trellis. That may be the only good news I have to report today. If all neighbors were like him, the world would be better, not like what I have to tell you now.
In fairness, he once wrote to me that his priorities were religion, family and then music. That seemed fine at the time, since I’m not joining his choir nor adopting his kids. But he tried to co-mingle his religion with the band, as if there was not already enough to contend with. The important part is that he waited until after he felt I was committed. You are going to love the details. (The guy should stick to singing and playing guitar.)
I drive over twenty miles to his house, tired and dusty off the trail. Then he springs on me two religion farts I really did not care to smell. One, you know how Doug Kershaw (whom nobody has accused of being unreligious) often ends a song with the major 4th chord? It sounds like he is going to sing “Amen”, but he never does sing anything, just plays the chord. Two, when the club manager pressed me for a band name, I came up with “Holiday Country” on the spot. (How dare me, who do I think I am, the band manager?)
No way was Cowboy Jeff going to play the “Amen” ending. I must have missed the chapter in the Bible that dealt with country music endings, because when I told Jeff I did not want to hear about it, he said that was his point. The old “What do you mean you don’t want to talk about it?” second grade mentality.
Nice of him to speak up before I drove out there, don’t you think? He attempted to steer the conversation into this nonsense that this was some “opportunity to defend” his religion. Maybe just putting the band together isn’t work enough, already? Besides, my religion does not need any defending, know what I’m saying?
There’s more, according to Jeff, “Holiday” used to mean something different. It is now certain that Jeff answering my ad also means something different, although I am sure he would deny that. I don’t recall asking for both a singer and a religious fanatic. Jeff says “Holiday” derives from “Holy Day”, and how that band name freaks him. He got miffed when I asked him for “a complete list of the ordinary things that he had problems with”, so that I could work around it.
Obviously, I am not very happy about this. I contacted Brian and the G, and I will replace the ad for a singer. Brian still cannot play and the G, as usual, tries to grandstand even in the situation where it is not his gig. (The G is on very shaky grounds this time, even his PA system has a blown speaker.)
[Author's note 2016-03-21: This post is kind of all over the place. What happened was as soon as this Jeff and I got a set together, I booked us at the first place that would pay, the Holiday Bowling Lanes. Since out music is predominantly country, when pressed for a band name, I told the bowling manager "Holiday Country". Like, whatever.
Then Cowboy Jeff, not to be confused with Cowboy Mike, picks this of all times to hit me with his religion bullshit. He waits until after I commit us to a gig before he pulls that on me. I guess he figured after all the effort put in practice, I was too far committed to throw his ass out the door. He was wrong.]
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