I was right about all those retired ass-hats with sailboats. There is indeed a certain grim satisfaction holding up traffic in the middle of the day as they take their sweet time. Maybe that is why railroad drawbridges open up on one side like this, but pedestrian bridges split in half and open up both ways. It makes it harder to spit on them.Between the two of us, the yard is starting to look civilized. I did research to find out the birdhouse I built has several defects I was unaware of. How do birds in the wild find holes exactly the right size? Beats me, but birds are very fussy. I’ve now learned to make better entrance holes, hinge the lids and provide a grate for the fledglings to climb up when they are ready.
Also, I plan to build a second birdhouse for a wren, chickadee or tree swallow, which are not very territorial and will share a yard with larger birds. Forest Wally is the only suitable habitat of its kind anywhere within miles of this area. The few local parks have trees too widely spaced as I’ve learned. For some reason, we have a difficult time identifying the birds we already have. They just don’t match anything in the field guides yet I doubt there is any unique fauna in our little trees.
My latest theory is that the only way some people will ever learn to drive decently is if they are embarrassed into it. Instead of handing out tickets, the police should video-tape these idiots and put it on TV, along with their names and pictures. What an incredible deterrent idea. The show could be locally broadcast on a community basis and called something like “Watch this Idiot”.
Everybody makes mistakes, but that is no defense, since we only televise the worst of the worst drivers. Like that dickhead in the El Presidente parking lot this evening. That bozo would think twice if he knew he would be on TV after supper. He backed halfway out of a spot without looking behind, almost bashing into a van. He then drives forward across a handicap zone and climbs over the shopping cart ramp pulling a U-turn almost hitting the van again. I yelled “Hey” and snapped his picture when he looked. He squealed rubber out of the parking lot.
The trouble with steady girlfriends is that they turn on you after around six months. Speaking from personal experience, that’s when they think you are emotionally committed enough to start getting away with things. I won’t tell you what brought up this topic, but I will tell you about my last long-term lady, Robinette. She had ovarian cysts, said the doctor. That was the good news. The bad news? He was her dentist.
I watched “Sea Hawk” over a period of days. Who told Errol Flynn he could act? It was a major production with a huge cast of extras. For the 1930s, it accurately portrayed the weapons and intrigue. The depictions of historical facts showed plenty of research and the special effects without computers are amazing. I’m also reading several accounts of safaris in the 1890 to 1930 era. Lions, tigers, leopards and such were considered vermin and no license was required. The average porter carried a 60 pound load, a camel five times that. But the camel didn’t pitch your tent, pour up a hot bath and pick chiggers out of your toes.
Big game hunters do not represent sportsmen nor heroes to me. I found the logistics of the operation more fascinating. The safaris were mainly self-financing through the sale of zoo animals, scientific specimens, and ivory for billiard balls. On one fully documented trip, the profit was, in today’s money, $700,000. Don’t expect to see such numbers reading the original invoices, however, because of inflation. The hunters bragged about sending ostrich feathers all the way to England to fetch a whole shilling each.
Ah, I see you don’t know about chiggers. They are a burrowing insect that crawls around inside your body. Favorite targets are the feet and scrotum. When the worm emerges, you can wind it around a tiny twig and slowly pull it out. That is one of the more pleasant things you can expect from Africa, the birthplace of AIDS.
Another topic not covered in any depth but certainly a factor is the presence of women on the later safaris. The original hunting expeditions were all men, generally locals who had to supplement the farms, ranches and plantations they were starting. Later, when writers in England glorified the slaughter, women began to show up “far away from the constraints of Victorian England”. When a countess walked into the guide’s tent in her nightgown with a beer glass full of whiskey in each hand, he said, “Where’s your husband?”
She replied that Englishmen asked the silliest questions. Last I heard, Robinette was on a safari in California.
