There was an ad for an “experienced blogger” to write travel articles online today. Travel writing is fun, unless they expect you to actually visit these tourist traps. If you have aspirations of actually getting paid for writing anything more creative than an Internet business plan, look into blogging. I wrote them the link to this blog and asked the rate of pay. Internships are for no-minds and the self-infatuated.In some cases, so is trivia. (Especially game-show trivia where they only know who wrote the book and never what it was about.) Here’s some potentially useful travel trivia. You are circumnavigating [the globe], but you find according to Ursa Major, your compass is always pointing east-west. This could happen, as I learned today. You are on the Earth’s magnetic equator. Listen up, for like its geographic partner, you are probably not anywhere you could ask for help. The magnetic poles are not on the planet axis and fluctuations make the magnetic equator a wavy line of no practical use. That leaves an opening for a dumb question: you look out your porthole and you see a bear. What color is it not?
As luck would have it, today a customer in the shop came in to learn to rip CD tracks. He has a complete midi system with all the goodies, and in return for free computer know-how, he is to show me the ropes. His Canadian accent is below the pain threshold and his musical progression over 30 years mimics mine in the recent past. He began replacing recalcitrant band members with technology. He plays super realistic guitar breaks, adding that if I lay down the midi he will fill in the riffs.
I am still struggling with equipment malfunctions. The Dell laptop cannot operate in the correct screen mode for my act. I have an ulterior motive to forge ahead, in that I may have an invitation to play at G’s place. Normally I don’t play any place that is always full of men, but the owner’s daughter assures me Wednesdays are “family night”. And she is the spittin’ image of Angelface (Beverly Twila Gillingham), the first “older” woman I had ever dated. (Angelface was 19 when I was 17.)
Returning my cell phone to the store was a waste. It turns out unless I purchase a bundle of features I do not want, my phone cannot be made to ring loudly when I’m called from “private numbers”. MetroPCS could not define the difference between “private” and “call blocked” in plain English, meaning they probably don’t know themselves. When I asked them to set the phone so it would ring whenever I’m called, they stated that was “no longer the way cell phones worked”. Also, the phones have an indoor/outdoor setting where, in Nokia logic, the phone rings quieter when you are outside. (Must be those long winters in Finland. You know why their parkas have bone buttons? The sound of a zipper stampedes the reindeer.)
Another thing MetroPCS don’t tell you (but I did), is when you change phones, your number is stricken from the no-call list. Only public school dropouts would see any logic in that. The solution is to quit fining the telemarketers, but to fine the companies that hire them. My position is that no reputable companies, including political and charitable outfits, use telemarketing any more. They should all pack up and leave.
I admit today was not my cheeriest blog. There’s more. It seems the homosexual community was able to destroy the prime Miss America candidate for stating she preferred to marry a man. Not the Gay Miss America show, the regular one. You bleeding hearts wanted tolerance, now you’ve got one of the most intolerant gangs in town rigging your beauty contests. Shame on you, America.
Oh, and the color of the bear? It was white after all. The albino panda, ha, ha.
