[Author's note 2016-04-29: originally there was no picture. This one has been assigned later to enhance this entry. It's a portrait of Benjamin Franklin.]
It happens, both my main computer and backup computer crashed within the same hour. Again, my excellent backup system means nothing was lost, but what a hassle. I used the library computers, so expect some delays in the blog, and remember to glance over the previous few days now and then, as not always the final edition makes it to press.
Marion's testimonial to eHarmony found me looking at their complaint sites. All big outfits will have plenty, so I am watching for a pattern. I found them and although some people don't want to be satisfied, I also found eHarmony has strong defense statements in their own favor, except for the issue of continuing to bill people after their account has been cancelled. That, eHarmony, is a stunt for con artists. Do you really want to be clumped with that crowd?
I also remember Theresa getting rejected by eHarmony, so I kept an eye out for that factor, and I found it. First, the trivia on eHarmony. The CEO is one clever but also slippery operator. The original concept back in 1997 was that standard dating clubs ask people what they want, whereas eHarmony has them state what they have to offer.
I've used this method since I was a teen, but eHarmony cashed in on it. People answer some 300 questions about themselves and eHarmony claims to have algorithms that do the matching. They have an interesting slogan on that. "Opposites attract. Then they attack."
They say their success rate is 20%, but I doubt that. They say the rate of people who never find a match is 20% also. Does that mean the other 60% are in limbo? And are these ratios an improvement on real life?
Now I said the CEO was clever because he re-defines failure. He can easily make up his own statistics with impunity although when he ran his American style advertisements in England, the courts declared them blatantly misleading. That'll teach him. This is where we part company, for beyond that, he seems able to squirm out of any corner they place him in. When the fags and lesbos sued that his site was unfair to them, he countered by saying he "didn't know enough" about their lifestyles to build an algorithm. Smooth, with a big element of truth.
Or stranger yet, this supposedly progressive company defines "success" as two of their members getting married. It has been decades since a marriage ceremony was the pinnacle attainment of a man-woman relationship. eHarmony provides no statistics on the durability of those marriages, nor is there a control group for comparison. This is so typical of American business practice that we think it fools the whole world.
It was the nature of complaints that got me deep reading. The majority were not just people who didn't get responses (at all), but that the matches were totally wrong. It is impossible to assign blame here, for they may have lied on their profiles. Instead I'm talking about matches that were in the wrong country, and sometimes the wrong continent. There is no excuse for that, eHarmony. I will attempt to get a copy of the eHarmony questionnaire.
Second biggest complaint category goes to people who cancelled their accounts and whose credit cards continued to be charged by eHarmony. However, as far as I am concerned, that is a matter for people dumb enough to give an Internet company their credit card number in the first place. I also blame the government for not clamping down on this companies who practice this after-billing.
[Author's note: I do allow for the results of several studies I did of dating ads and clubs over the years. Where men tend to state what they have to offer, more often than not vastly overstating, women tend to describe what they want. One day I'll tell you about how I was the member of a club that dated women based on their want ads, them not knowing the club shared the results. But hey, I was in my twenties. Then again, every one of the women dated was a liar who expected the world on a silver platter long after she had wasted her charms.]
Back to the mismatches. This is tricky to follow, so read carefully. One of the most recurring complaints was from women who felt the male prospects did not reflect their applications. In fact, all 100% of the sixty complaints I read in this department were from women and I don't think that can be chalked up to men being reluctant to speak.
One has to suspect women are, as in real life, totally unreasonable in their expectations. I know women seeking marriage aren't immune to physical attraction, but they are supposed to be. Many women complained the men were too fat, short, or ugly. Can you imagine the squeal if men said the same thing? The world loves a double standard. I mean, did these women specifically state they only wanted trophy catches? Where they thin, tall and beautiful themselves?
Last, the eHarmony reasons for rejection, the topic you've been waiting for. Well, the most common of the common are being married or being under 21. I can commend eHarmony for those standards. If you are married, butt out, slimeball. And if you are under 21 and can't get laid these days, I dunno. I mean, it is a poor substitute, but there is always law school.
eHarmony also tells you where to go if you have been married and divorced more than four times. Good, because it shows they are on to your mating ritual. Serial marriage is legalized date rape.
By far the curious category of rejects are the 20% (coincidence?) of applicants who display symptoms of dysthymia (say "diss-THIGH-me-ah"). Yes, eHarmony is headed by a degreed social psychologist. Dysthymia is a condition, that while not in itself a mental disorder, is a disorder present in all mentally depressed people. It concerns rapid mood swings, and I can tell you from recent experience those swings are never toward the good. I would say that explains a lot.
Oh, and the last big category of rejections are for the classic reason: lying.
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