The trip was dampered by poor behavior of the Miami parking lot at 50 SW 2nd Ave, where I was shooed out from the advertised free parking because, “We don’t allow motorcycles”. When I asked why not, because “If we let one motorcycle park then we have to let the others park.” I thought dear mother of God, can’t have that! In standard Miami courtesy, this restriction is not mentioned on their advertising so I’d already driven across town. The average IQ of people who live in downtown Miami is slightly less than 96. But there are tens of thousands of them, some with loaded guns. I kindly advised the security guard to have a nice day, and that if possible when I returned here in another 20 years, I hoped to tell him the same again.
Of course, I chatted up the only three good-looking gals at the event. One showed me an ancient map of the Holy Land but it befell me to inform her it didn’t even look like New Jersey. Besides, where would I keep old maps now that I no longer own a glove compartment? The Miami art gallery 101 W Flagler is worth a day’s tour. Myself, I got tuckered after three hours, including an empanada break across the road. My shoulder seriously disrupts my sleep and I confess I was too weary except to hit the highlights discussed next.
Most unique of the show was a book of maps. Shown here, it has seen a few centuries. I did not ask to view the contents, it was clear to me I’d never seen a book that old in my life. The asking price is $45,000 but I explained that how I’d forgotten my wallet in another pair of pants. A lot of maps were older real estate projections for the Miami area, which is darn interesting because the area itself was created out of a totally artificial boom. I saw maps laying out golf courses where today some of the densest condos are crowded. There were also numerous smaller towns with names that have now disappeared into the large subdivisions.Next most interesting are the maps of the Caribbean islands, often quite distorted to make them seem larger and therefore more open for settlement and investment. These shows, particularly if you intend to purchase, are for experts only. My limited knowledge means I was a spectator. I had an eye out, of course, for maps that showed any land or features that were not there which nobody else noticed, you know, like Atlantis.
Much of the material was also in French or Latin, something I never picked up. Several vendors were kind enough to open booklets and unfold maps even after I explained I was browsing. They nodded knowingly, like they were suspicious I didn’t own another pair of pants. And don’t miss the gift shop, there are actually some novel items for sale in there. I declined that also, my budget was bingo money and I had to plow a handful of that into parking.
Alaine threw out the invite for dindin but I was so tired I declined free gourmet cooking. Folks, that is tired. Mind you, I did drop in at the Church to find JP at his usual spot. This means a rapid-fire update of all the reasons he can’t drop everything and head out of town for a few weeks. The truck is fifteen years old, the estate isn’t settled, he has to paint the patio, motorcycles are only good for breaking your neck. I told you, the guy is next to impossible to get enthusiastic about an adventure. But he’ll come around.I bumped into a couple who tell me they work with three country-music oriented groups in south Florida. Hey, I’m listening because to my knowledge, there are no such bands from this area. The names he gave were not familiar and here is the [entirely coincidental] list he supplied:
The Mobile Homes
Hawg Jowls and the Bacon Fats
Two Storey Double Wide
I’ll look them up later as from the descriptions he gave I found some of these groups sort of familiar, like that outfit with the washboard. But again, these are not bands that play the same places I do, the touristy beach and working class pubs. If you go to Boston Johnny’s or G’s Place, they have excellent bands, but they sure aren’t from around here. It being later, I found some videos on Hawg Jowls saying traditional country but I didn’t recognize anything they played. So define traditional.
Then I found some Two Storey Double Wide and it was definitely original material. It is well-played and well-recorded but again, ten minutes later I could not recall a single riff. Face it, to me it is not good enough that original music be, in itself, simply something nobody else did before. It also has to contain some aspects of unique sound that sticks with you. But most indie music, both country and rock, sounds formulaic to me. Even if that works, it is a tortous, methodical, over-traditional path that often leads anywhere but to the top.
The Mobile Homes? Once more, not traditional country, which pretty much implies music from before 1989. This band sounded almost New Age. I would not rate what they do as country at all.
