One year ago today: May 25, 2015, Camp Good Counsel, I think.
Five years ago today: May 25, 2011, on TV, Facebook, the economy.
Nine years ago today: May 25, 2007 , see my Cadillac?
Random years ago today: May 25, 2010, erase a DVD in 3.5 seconds.
MORNING
Here’s the completed acrylic sculpture at Fred’s which I may or may not have promised you. I have no camera to capture the detail. You can see six carved horses, with the leather harnesses and the gold chain reins. The base contains neon lights which create shadows to outline the features. This is artist work beyond anything I could dream of doing, yet he uses much the same saws and shaping tools as I do for robotics. The display is about 30 inches wide.
You might think there is a huge following of such music in this area, but the fact is, the people have no choice. Every last guitarist I met in Florida plays exclusively 1970-ish guitar showcase tunes. Every time I’ve played my set, I get a tip jar full of reminders how badly people like to hear a little variety. JZ could care less about music, he only cares if the room is full of skinny women in cowboy jeans.
He might not care for the dating scene once he’s been there. The rules are different in small towns. Who remembers that Lock & Key we went to back in the day? That’s what he’s about to experience over again—older women who don’t have time to piss around. That Lock & Key was that same weird situation, in that the women who paid big bucks (I think it was $35) to get in had also spent a further hundred in the beauty parlor and god-knows-what on their outfits.
They were out for a man, and right now. I mean by the time they hit such dating clubs, these women fancy themselves prizes but have given up ever having Mr. Right come to them. It’s not sad, it is pitiful. They either got a man that night or lost a huge investment. Hey, they are the ones who demanded equality. It might be some time before they could afford it over again. Then in walks JZ and I (for free), the two alpha males in the room. Both of us toughened, as in downright habituated, into going out counltess times before even meeting a gal, much less one worth talking to.
We were under no pressure to make either commitments or make up our minds right then and there. It was a familiar reversal of roles. Remember how one was pulling JZ toward the elevator? Let me check my calendar before I write more details, I have guidelines about telling all. Okay, we’re good to go, here’s the PG13 version. She had reserved the penthouse in the hotel, banking on getting her man up there. She even promised JZ two-hundred and fifty dollars. I would have none of it and she got into a tug-of-war pulling JZ by one arm, against me on the other.
She was telling him in one ear something about the Virgin Mary, and I was shouting in his other ear about our pact not to date any women we met the first night at such an establishment. She said she had the bottle of champagne and the sheets pulled back. She was one tough old bird, if I recall, 40-ish, and really planted her fat legs on the hotel floor, meaning business. I finally convinced JZ this had nothing to do with him, she had simply spotted him as an easy target.
I had further pointed out that none of the women would give us their phone numbers, so we could call them after the party was over. They all wanted our numbers, although one reluctantly gave me a business card of the place she worked. Now, remember, shortly after we arrived, we had a ring of twenty women, three deep, around our table as we casually sipped our free drinks. I can’t recall the date, but I think this was in October of 2001 or 2002. And unless I find an old desk calendar, there are no accurate records of that period.
Steel-hulled sailing ship, 1888.
NOON
Turns out termite eradication is big business in the Florida central plain. During the afternoon, Fred and I went over the building model. I must stress to the reader that this is some of the sheerest speculation possible. At this time, there are no practical funds available for anything but shoring up the old building and fumigating. But around here, planning is free and this version of the original model shows stick frames of an attached new porch and a sun room.
If you notice things are not exactly lined up, it is because there are parts of the structure not shown that include concrete stairs, exterior walkways, shrubs, and the leeway needed to drive a car around to the back yard.
What you see here is $7,600 in projected materials cost, and that quality that was missing on the previous places I examined—the core structure has to be a livable unit while the work takes place. The cabin itself needs no work to be a dandy home throughout any additions. The sharper reader will have spotted that in the case of both the porch and the sun room, they could be built in stages, with the first stage being a simple deck.
No-show, that’s my pal. He’s one of the few that can get away with a no-show. You see, for me it is a double-whammy because my game plan when you let me down is not to watch Oprah until you finally show up. If I’m waiting, it is because I canceled other productive activity. With JZ, I pretty much know he’ll be late, so I don’t mark it on his report card.
Besides, I got to listen to NPR, the station listened to “by millions of sane people”. And they all like to be talked to like they are little children. I was roaring laughing at how NPR a.k.a. “Establishment Radio” is crapping their drawers trying to deny that Trump is giving the status quo the ass-kicking of their lives. NPR likes to pretend it is neutral, but they only have talk guests who are blatantly anti-Trump. Biggest laugh was the denial of the polls that show Trump leading.
When Trump is losing, the numbers are gospel, but when he’s winning, the polls are not to be trusted. They are suspect, just a snapshot, and this one is a darling: the polls are traditionally wrong in May. The Trump deniers have become grotesque in their attempts to convince voters that Trump is just a flash in the pan as he sweeps aside all competition. The media, besides not showing his crowds, always downplays his victories as temporary aberrations.
Cutest change is how a growing number of solid anti-Trump talk show types have bowed to the inevitable and have become at least tacit Trump supporters.
I spent time researching porches. Yessir, I wanted a retirement home with a porch, but not facing a dusty Texas road. Over the years, I’ve kept current on porch design and my favorite is the “lean-to”. Those who followed my link last day know about the 20% gain in value over a porch, but I’ve run the numbers and my gain will be nearly double. Why? Because a standard six-foot porch on the front of the new place adds 144 square feet of usable living space, a significant gain on a small structure.
Also, last weekend I took a ton of measurements and some of them are just being processed now. One interesting figure was ground level at the front of the house. When matched with the footing depth, the porch deck would be the proper 7-1/2” below the step into the front door. This is one standard stair step and is considered the ideal for a proper porch.
Steven Penfold: Sociology, 1999. After publishing the history of Canadian donut shops, Stevie-boy has repeated gone on-line to deny that his phone number is (416) 978-3758. Stevie is currently working on a catalog of Santa Clause parades.
NIGHT
You can imagine I often get asked why I don’t “write a book”. I’ve expressed interest and make dozens of false starts. The best answer is I haven’t gotten around to it. There are elements to a book that I don’t have to bother with in a blog and many of those elements are tedious. Consider the difference between a plot and a story. The plot makes the reader wonder why something happened, while a story like this blog at best has a limited readership who wonder what happens next.
Nor can this blog be made into a plot. For that you need heroes, conflict, and increasing tension. This is hardly possible with material that is based on real life and times. Vonnegut said the reader is fickle, he can quit reading at any time. Suffice to say there would be so many changes made to turn a blog like this into a book that it would fundamentally change its own nature. Right now, it floats between fact and fiction.
What does this blog contain that could be used as a plot? Controversy, and that is about it. For I am anti-establishment. But only to the extent it isn’t enough for them to be rich—others must be kept poor. What does this blog not contain? It lacks the constant tension that readers expect these days. It would not be hard to introduce, but I’ll pass for now. Tension is easy to build. Want an example?
One side attacks. The other side builds a trench. The first side invents a tank. The defender makes an anti-tank gun. The attacker then makes a rocket to knock out the anti-tank gun. This measure for counter-measure escalates until one side gains some supreme advantage that cannot be parried, And that is your story.
Last Laugh
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