One year ago today: May 26, 2015, Yeehaw Junction.
Five years ago today: May 26, 2011, antenna failure.
Nine years ago today: May 26, 2007, Pudding-Tat & grocery bags.
Random years ago today: May 26, 2014, the painted Emma.
MORNING
Aha, turns out porches are a popular topic. Told ya I wasn’t the only one. Called everything from the fastest-growing trend to a “sliver of neutral space”, apparently without knowing it, I favor the “farmhouse porch” style. That would make sense. I still have a lot of research now, but take a look at the base of this model. Simple flat rocks. They are ornamental, but I like that look. What is it called? Fieldstone? I prefer a porch with a railing.
Next, I discover there is no shortage of deck design software and companies who will gladly design the deck as a preliminary hope you’ll buy the lumber from them. Myself, I have no idea if the zoning of the new place even permits a deck, but this still turned out to be a fascinating topic worthy of a good, long investigation. In the case of my cabin, it is already clear that the simpler the design, the better. Don’t you just love blogs where off-beat topics become entertaining?
I’ve learned the type I have in mind, which I called a “lean-to” is considered a roof extension. Looking at the offerings, it is super tempting to go overboard but I have budget constraints that take care of that for me. The budget for the porch deck is less than $2,000 for materials.
Strange as it sounds to some people just found out who Jimmy Kimmel is. Remember, people who watch TV sound pretty strange to me, and you can add in mentally defective. Kimmel is an establishment-trained operative whose game plan appears to be flipping between people’s private viewpoints and what they are prepared to state in public. I know the drill. My family will swear one thing on a stack of bibles, but do the opposite if they think it enhances their reputation downtown. So I was amused to watch this Kimmel try to get the jump on Trump. Kimmel, until further notice, is just another you-know.
And has Trump ever learned how to deal with these media types. He slices right through them these days mainly because he’s figured out everybody is on his side. I loved that analogy he made about the rigged delegate system. Trump pointed out that if he had not been winning by landslides, he would not have stood a chance. His analogy was the prize fight. If you knock the opponent unconscious, then it doesn’t really matter if the judges and fight are rigged. Ha! Got that, you Liberals?
Plus, he’s got the right idea with the big religion-controlled big media. You want to report biased politics, then you pay for the right to broadcast. Top of the list should be Fox, the ones who tried to sabotage your campaign from the start. Squeeze them until the pips squeak. For that matter, they are one nobody important would mind if you put them out of business by patronizing some smaller, but more fact and truth oriented independent company.
When I say religion-controlled, you know exactly what I mean. Unless, of course, they admit they are not a religion.
Hindu war god. You watch out.
NOON
Oh boy, more good news and bad news. See here, the photo. I’m driving down the back alley behind CVS to pick up some seltzer, and behold, somebody has thrown out a set of matching fixtures. Well, except that the hallway lamp has been painted over. Soon to be the fancy bathroom lamp, I can strip it faster than the farm girls in the old school bush. Forget the brass, the find was those glass, I dunno, what do you call them? Shades.
And how’s this for a blog classic tradition. Lampshades fixtures next to a sidecar wheel. Don’t say I never went out of my way for ya. There are two fixtures. One hanging, and the other a wall mount double. You’ll see these again, no doubt.
Okay, the bad news. Last night around dusk, I zipped over to the Chinese food for takeout. I remember putting on my glasses and driving home and reading for two hours. This morning I could not find my glasses. Yes, kiddies, the old guy lost something that hangs on a chain around his neck. They are around here somewhere, no doubt they fell behind something again. The point is, I cannot drive without them and they were by backup set. And I have a payment due in a few days.
Guess when JZ is going to choose to be busy and not answer the phone? But that’s a given and you know I never plan to rely on people. Tell ‘em, Theresa. But dang, those were also a favorite pair, one of those with the self-darkening lenses. I know I now have bags under my eyes, but think how much worse they would be otherwise. And me, without a plastic surgeon in the family.
Completely changing subjects, you know what I would like to see? Let some dude invent a snap-on lid for SPAM cans. They are a far more convenient shape to store unused portions than round containers. Yet nobody has stepped to the plate on that one. Another nice thing would be if SPAM either quit or made it easy to remove that plastic liner they apply to the inside. Why? Because then people could use the cans for convenient baking. They are a better shape for small treats.
I know it is plastic because the club has a surplus toaster over that is more likely to be used for curing glue than baking. I went to heat water in a SPAM can once and when it boiled dry, the smell was surely plastic of some sort. Hmmm, maybe I should try blowtorching it off. I already use the containers for small bins, but it would be nice to find yet another use.
Trivia. According to the 2016 Almanac, I bought my house on Ember Day. I have no idea.
Charl Fourie: Peace, 1999. Co-inventor of the “pedal-operated flame thrower”, a device to repel carjackers. Insert racial joke here. “Your Honor, I thought it was the brake.” I live in Florida. Is there a bicycle-mounted model?
NPR is great for defining what is wrong with some people. But one attitude I cannot figure is these people who think it is up to the USA to devise the means to figure out which migrants are terrorists. No, no, folks, it is the country they come from that has to find the way. And that is accomplished by cutting off all immigration. Blocking the flow is not an evil act, it is the means to a positive end. How dare you Liberals come along an tell Americans what is and isn’t their responsibility.
Yes, I’ve been neglecting my guitar practice. Buying houses for cash has a way of interfering with one’s customary schedule. But in the off moments, I’ve been at least pondering what type of music to present. I’ve got a better defined criteria, since I decided from day one not to learn any tune that I could not solo. Nor do I intend to compete with the Millennial crowd, who seem as content with recorded music and boisterous concerts as with a live and more intimate solo act.
Certain tunes I’ve never paid attention to before are on my learn list. Typical would be Haggard’s “Working Man Blues” and Joe Nichol’s “Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off”. I wouldn’t normally touch that last one, but I watch for audience effect. Chicks dig it, is the correct expression, I believe. Especially chicks who have been drinking. Bearing in mind I am approaching guitar soloing from the “wrong” direction. This world is full of guitarists who are convinced their taste in music is universal. I’m allowing the crowd to dictate what I’ll play—although I fully realize the limitations of trying to please everyone.
Two emerging changes, I record these for posterity, not as rules I henceforth follow. One is during the learning phase, I’m looking again at the accompaniment of a drum box. We already know I don’t use the box the same as others, that I actually play it. Oh, and I have not found the contact number for that guy from Beat Box. Since he’s kind of disappeared since his machine did not play the beats I strongly advised him to include. He said to call him whenever and I’d say now is about whenever.
The other is I’ve discovered that the vocal “fills” I’ve learned to do on the bass are super easy to translate to the guitar. Or as I like to put it, I’m now beginning to discover the degree of bullshit that guitar players have been handing me over the years. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met guitarists who could do the job, but never in Florida. I did my best to accommodate a range of personalities that had reasons for not playing certain tunes—but now I realize those reasons were fake. They just didn’t like the song, the bunch of bastards.
Let me tell you, buddy boy, those days are over. These fills consist of everything from tongue clicks, to nonsense syllables, to short whistles, and simply talking out “dum-dum” to the patterns of the instrumental breaks. It was only upon reviewing my videos that I realize I was actually innovating, not repeating the same fill every time like some guitar players I won’t mention. There is every likelihood I’ll combine the two, that’s the drum machine and these fills, since it is similar to the way I learned my bass solo material. And of course, I would like to be making that kind of cash on the side again.
Last Laugh
