November 21, 1994

           My day at the beach. It may not sound like much, but we’re actually beginning to crack the local codes. First, language code. I got to the metro, on & off at the correct stations, and two connecting buses. In other words, I made it without taking a $25 tourist cab one-way, rather total about 53¢. Naturally, it makes me the only non-local on the bus and disconcerting to the taxi people, who are generally non-local, but native. None of them was honest enough to tell me the easy way. Plus, you get there about 20 minutes faster by bus, which uses the freeway.
           The money code. That’s trickier, but pay close attention to what others are paying. “Cinquenta” and “Cinco cienta” sound close (50 and 500) enough to cause grief. It helps to keep notes.

           The social code. That’s one they can keep for themselves. The example here is the beach chairs and umbrellas (priced separately). You get there first and rent 3, yes 3. When the taxis of tourists show up, listen to them giggle that you paid for 3 and only sit in one. Ah, the social code. [You see] when the 30 year old Yankee male rents a chair, the local chair renter will only sit only 30 year old local women next to him. Divorced, fat, with kids, women.
           There is a pecking order and you are at the bottom. It’s a separate subject, but just show me a 30 or 40 year old white male who goes on vacation to meet 30 & 40 year old women! Anyway, the renter has a deal with all his buddies. When the babes show up in string bikinis, and I mean babes, he rents them chairs next to his buddies. Unless of course, there happen to be free ones available and once you get 8 or 10 around, you get all the others later.
           Incidentally, the local drinking age is XX, and even then, you have to move fast. Which is what I do best.

           [Author’s note 2019: Sorry for any censorship, but the Internet also filled the world with assholes who pay too much attention to what other people do. If I wanted to know who did what with whom, I’d become a Republican.]
           [Author’s note 2023: This entry is still not clear. Let me spell it out. If you are over 30, when you get to the beach, you rent three shades. Because if you don't the local boys running the concession will rent the ones next to you to old ladies with kids, and steer all the babes over to their friends. Shown here, I'm with three babes. And lots of room for more.]