[Author's note 2022: Ha, this is one of the early repetitions of the woodpile story. It never quite happened this way, but pretty close. I mean, it did happen, but this version is an amalgamation of many related incidents. To me, telling the truth entails doing so as to cause the least trouble for the other guy.]
There are now three parties they don't trust who have personal information about me on file. The US government, the Canadian government, and U-Haul. I just spent a half hour getting the third degree for trying to rent a storage bin. I had to give my Social Security number and the thumbprint. Mind you those folks were pretty slow because they got both pieces of information and both were fakes. I gave them Richard Nixon's Social Security number and you know the other trick.
Of course things like that don't exactly make my day. That's my daily gripe: the truth, and its many forms. I recognize two types of truth. One type for morons and another type for those of us left over.
Consider this scenario which is based on a true incident in my past. The phone rings and somebody asks for your brother.
Truth #1: "He’s here, but he doesn't have that $20 he owes you, so he's hiding behind the woodpile. But I'll make sure I tell him you called, so he gets your message. People should pay their bills."
Truth #2: "Nothing. That's what you get from me, nothing. I'll have nothing to do with it because it's none of my business. This phone is not here for you to collect your debts, please don’t call again. Goodbye."
Now I know that's oversimplifying it but the point I'm making is that both versions are the gospel truth. The one which you pick is a telling comment on your character. I know people are supposed to keep promises, but unless I'm a direct party, whether they do or do not is absolutely none of my concern. Same goes for you.
I did ask the flunky at U-Haul (can you imagine spending your life behind the counter wearing a name tag?) what he needed with all this information. His reply was that it had something to do with answering any questions the police might ask. I said to him, "Don't you think if the police want information about me, they should be asking me, and not you?"
Apparently he never thought of it that way. Which puts him squarely in the moron category? The police and U-Haul, what a combination. We can't have people renting storage bins and motel rooms without creating a police record.
[Author's note: I make a very clear distinction that I mean promises between other people, and not contracts between other people. I will not get involved in promises between other people unless I was directly involved in the making of that promise. The only difference between a promise and a contract is that the law will enforce a contract.]
