[Author’s note: I am quite aware that I often talk about a single recurring theme on this date each year.]
So many years since Judy Minty and I went our separate ways. But what years! I know we would have been long divorced in any case, by now. I can say that for certain because of the ways I've changed. The main difference between most men is that I have no divorce or child support to “brag about”, but the rest I’ve been through pretty much the same, but anyway without making the standard mistakes. I'm referring to the way I've seen married couples drag each other down in court when my point is they should never allow things to get that bad in the first place. However, most people seem to think that being average is better than being above or below average, when it comes to marriage.
I cannot remember what we did on her birthday, today so long back. I was living in a semi-heated attic, er, I mean penthouse. The place was eventually condemned and torn down, but I kept a key and used to look in there once in a while. I’m sure we spent the night together but I cannot remember. I see now that her mother was pressuring her to get married, about wanting to be a grandmother before she died. She had tuberculosis. Well, I wasn’t ready for marriage, I said so, and correctly predicted her mother would last another 20 years at least. Later, I think she lived something like another 26 years. Doris Burns, that was her name.
There was too great a distance between her parents’ concept and my concept of honor. It is nice to invite me to Tahiti, but I didn’t have money to pay the rent while I was away and no way I would ask for it. So I didn’t go. Another ten years would pass before I understood the English problem of the unmarried daughter, and why her father took it the wrong way when I said I “liked things as they are for now”.
It wasn’t perfect, I don't mean I liked everything. What I meant is that I was not financially or emotionally prepared to begin a family at that time. We had our differences, for example, I never understood Judy’s fixation with the details of every woman I had ever slept with before we met. I mean, she’d had her boyfriends, who were not the least of my concern. She interpreted this to mean I did not care. Nonsense, what I didn't care for was how she still kept in such close touch with them on my telephone. True, Judy never did anything, but as Rusty said, she was always laying tracks.
Back to today. So, I went out and bought a television. Not cable TV, just a television. The big deal is that is the first television I have bought in my life. Never had one before, never needed one. We did have TV when I was a teenager, all three channels. I swore then that the only reason I ever watched it was because there was nothing else to do in damn small towns. I also swore I would never allow myself to get bored enough to watch it again. I believe the years since makes my point. I watch videos, given the chance, and finally decided to buy a TV whether I ever watch it or not. Later, it was wasted money because I still have that TV, it's brand-new and never been watched, and I lugged around each time I moved.
Then, I went to the Church. Very few of the old gang is there anymore, so why go except on a special occasion like today. The new waitress/barmaid likes me, but is already shacked up. I tied her a Monkey’s Fist, I think she wishes we’d met before she teamed up with the boyfriend, who is far too young for her even if that is in vogue. Who’s the comedienne who is always attending the birth of her next husband? Joan Collins. Anyway I don’t find anything shocking about it anyway, for my experience is that momma’s boys have always been in oversupply.
I also met Kyle, the incredibly talented bass player from Sri Lanka. He worked as a telemarketer, and regrets what he felt was a good way to make money between gigs. I told him how to convince his boss to buy long-distance rights from a Canadian phone company, and continue the barrage of calls from out of arms’ reach. So if that happens, it was my fault.
