Still no word from my buddy JP. We’re supposed to get together with his parents for his birthday this weekend, but he never went into work on Sunday. Thus I have no news. I think I’ll drive over there soon. He lives south of Bird Road near US 1.
A movie with a message for me, called “Love Don’t Cost A Thing”. It’s just an ordinary coming of age bit of a spoof. But it had tremendous lines that hit me, things I would have said myself at that age. Mind you, script writers were in short supply back on the homestead and I’m not exactly a black child, but I agree totally with his motives. I think he did the right thing under the circumstances, I faced the same choice at that age. There is nothing wrong with turning twenty, what is wrong is turning twenty “without any memories”. High school and teens should be a happy time, but careful here, I’m not saying it is unhappy if you don’t have memories of days surfing, cruising in convertibles, and the correct wardrobe. The line was “I’ve got my whole life to be a mechanic, but this is the only time I’ll be in high school.”
That’s when I really started listening to this movie. My question in 1969 was, “If we are going to have nothing, why can’t we have nothing in California?” This is what I mean by no memories. I did a lot of wild things, wrong things. But I have some memories besides the endless boredom of small town nothingness. I’m missing the happy ending also. There were no terribly sexy millionaires daughters to practice on, so when it finally happened I blew it. When I got out of that town, my life was moving ahead by quantum leaps, so it seemed. I had no reason not to believe the next round would be even better, that my next millionaire girlfriend was going to be taller, thinner and blonder.
That explains a lot of what I did, and probably why I still think most of the problems in life are caused by stupid people who won’t leave others alone. They have no memories, and get their only kicks by agonizing others. They are the people who stood on the sidelines and criticized (my behavior). My attitude is that they fell for it where I didn’t.
I also realize how narrow the margin was, if I’d been the slightest bit richer or smarter, I would have caused the misery of another generation and dragged some poor woman down with me, by which I mean I am such a different person that divorce was inevitable. I turned forty watching the most popular and attractive of my generation using divorce as a lifestyle. I was different, I knew that I could not possibly have afforded marriage or children so it is just as well I did not try. There is more to this story, but this movie really hit me hard.
