Quietest day in the Thrift to date. Four customers all day and no sales. Yet, the day does not qualify as boring because two guitar players finally answered my ad. The one that sounds promising is Adrian, from Ft. Lauderdale. He named a bunch of 80s and 90s bands that “are still together” but not one I recognized. He responded well to my description that we would be playing for the “cruise ship” crowd, and they would likely not recognize them either.
Here is a terrible picture of me at the shop, showing my normal shopkeeper appearance. As far as I know, I am the only one in Florida who wears a tie. Did you get that, "as far as I know". Gee, you can’t make out any details but that is me. Does that shirt make me look fat? I had all afternoon to catch up on computer details on the Internet. That’s why I was there when the guitar players responded. Both of them are in their late 30s, married and have day jobs. I like men in that age group because they are young enough to get women over to the stage but far too inexperienced to compete with me.Speaking of women, I stopped at for coffee and Legs was on duty. What a timeless beauty, I had to linger and be late opening up. My God, I appreciate perfection. She has one of those bodies that is so perfect, it does not matter what she wears. It would be so exciting to peel it off just to discover it is all really that perfect. I know. I’ve had four women like that in my life. What? Okay. In [chronological] order, B. Gillingham, K. Berlin, R. Sands and K. Sandover. There were a few dozen near-contenders, but those were the ones with perfect bodies. Sigh, past tense. And that's as close as you'll get to real names, guys.
My experience is that new bands must get up and playing as quickly as possible, which I sometimes refer to as “practice on stage”. It is not as bad as it sounds because I can tell in advance how it will work out. What’s more is that no amount of other practice ever makes you ready, so leap right in. I’ve had great guitarists who chickened out. I took inventory of my options for the next four weeks.
Number one, I surely miss the money. The band always pays enough to keep me away from the ATM during the week. That’s the reason I drop the band price down to the level where the work is steady. For those of you who are curious, that appears to be $90 per evening for a duo, although I’ve done $75. Plus tips, and I’ve had plenty of $100 nights [split to $50 for each musician], with the best night ever $120 many years ago. I hope to get quickly back to that level, but who doesn't?
Two, I miss the lifestyle. Once you’ve played in a fun bar or lounge band for the after work crowd, it is hard to think of wasting a Friday night going to the movies. Couple this with the chance of meeting a decent woman and I’m in. That may sound contradictory because aren’t such women groupies. No, you underestimate my gift of gab. The band is merely the way I get them to speak to me in a non-dating environment. Decent women who would never approach a man will walk up and make a request. That is the point at which too many guitarists start slobbering and where I begin to shine.
I have on my calendar the first Sunday of February, a possible Friday and Saturday just before that, and something the last week of that month. Also, Barry from HWB has said he will hire us on a trial basis as soon as we are ready. The year in and out crap that there was no work was an eccentricity of the G. There is always lots of work. This, sadly, is based on the assumption that Brian will not be ready and/or will not be able to carry off the gig in reasonable time. I’ve got Adrian scheduled for an audition on Tuesday next and see no reason why we won’t get a dozen tunes together off the bat. Actually, there is a reason and it is that adults can never "find the time" to do what is good for them.
If he gets it, that gives me 21 days. I can learn any music in that amount of time, but I’ve already got him to agree that we do the classics until we have a reason to change. I always stress that playing in a band is not the place to make your preferences known; you play what the crowd wants and very little else. I’ve got enough money for a six channel PA system if it comes to that. Adrian plays acoustic. I did not ask him if he has a pickup. If he is not smart enough to know he cannot play an unamplified guitar on stage, he’s a bad risk to start with.
Again, I’m running into musicians who state performers rather than individual songs. My “influences” are what people can dance to and tip heavily for, not “The Eagles” (who put audiences to sleep) or “Pearl Jam”. I could not even name you all the Beatles tunes, and they are my favorites of all time. (I could name about 20 Beatles tunes.) They [The Beatles] released some garbage themselves. I always saw following performers rather than individual songs as a sign of amateurism. Most requests are for songs anyway. Have you ever tried to remember who played some obscure song, much less tried to look it up in the half-light on a breezy stage?
I’ve got a book that purports to be an expose on the ocean vacation industry, “Cruise Ship Blues”. [The scanned jpeg of the book won't upload.] Already I’ve learned that they quit that phony “port charges” scam after a class action in 1996. Reminds me of that $99 flight across the Atlantic, if you want a chair to sit on, that is $400 extra. Anyway, let me put on the coffee and curl up. I can see another potential band in the very near future and that makes me happy. Most of them remain that--potential. Musicians are not great organizers.
Later. I’ve just got to quit trying to read in that living room chair. I fall asleep in it every time. It is an ordinary living room chair, not even a rock-a-lounger although it tilts back, there is no foot-rest. I picked it up for $15 at Jerry’s two years ago. Sitting in it means sleep and around four months ago I found a blanket of super soft material. I threw it over the chair temporarily and now sleep is guaranteed. Within ten minutes, you’ll be out. Whoever designed this chair must know about this, nor can you fool yourself into staying awake by not propping up your feet.
Still, I managed to read half the cruise book. This was an unexpected eye-opener because JZ’s brother is a ship’s doctor. He said he could get me in as an IT person but I balked when unable to find out the exact rates of pay and a variety of other details. This book filled the gaps. As a board certified doctor, he makes $8-10,000 per month. I would make about 1/5th of that. (I can make that working three days a week.) The work conditions are terrible to the point of illegal for US citizens. The regular work week is 80 hours, which is technically okay except the book notes that the time is chopped up so that you rarely get more than three hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Now it is midnight, and thanks to that chair, I am wide awake.
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