March 15, 2007

           Here is the front [north] side of Holiday Bowling. This will be in the news for at least a short while, if only here. You can see part of their 60 parking spaces, but what you should squint to see is the corner of that building against the far left edge. It is around 600 feet behind the bowling alley. That is my new advertising agency, who call themselves the Hollywood Greyhound Race Track.
           It is hard to see, but there is a huge electronic sign on the corner of that building. Well, ahem, I have located an unused portion of the bowling alley wall that faces their building. Right now it has just an obviously hand-painted sign that says “ATM inside”.

           To the immediate right of that, imagine a big fat neon sign that says “Bernie’s”. It would be visible to every person who enters the casino, because in their infinite wisdom, the original planners had the race track facing Federal Highway. Now, the casino main entrance faces a bowling alley. Bernie’s bowling alley, and Bernie does not know he may have just hired the best country dance band in south Florida. The only band left that will work with a club owner for the right location.

           Every vehicle that enters the parking lot must go past that, for now, blank wall. There are two entrances, the main one goes past a small door, the one that leads directly into Bernie’s Famous Country Dance Club. He has plenty of undeveloped outdoor space, don’t worry, I’m thinking. I’ve already calculated Bernie only needs 4% of the casino business to do a little cashing in on his own. His entire premises will only hold half that many. With the right draw, the place is a gold mine.
           I will contact my radio stations and media that owe me favors and look up the number of that Cuban sign painter who still owes me $200 for doing his income tax. Time to dig out those excellent Internet computers I put into storage for just such an opportunity. The café next door, which by the way I had an excellent light breakfast this morning for $3.70, has an underused Internet access lacking only a WiFi modem. I will begin designing his web page this Sunday. You’ve got to credit Bernie with a good eye on who to team up with. And he has not even heard me play yet.

           Wait, there is more. I surreptitiously scoped all the neighborhood prices, and Bernie’s is around half what the others are charging. His breakfast special is an entire dollar less than any place in the area. However, all this has to start with getting some live entertainment in there on Saturdays. That is going to require another 15 days minimum, or risk getting the wrong mix. It must be dance music, and not many Florida club owners realize how few good dance bands exist out there.

           I will press Guitar Jeff to practice country instead so many shu-bop tunes of the 50s. He’ll go for it, since his song list is 10% the three Hanks already. There will be no time to audition for Bernie, but trust me, with Guitar Jeff doing what comes natural and me backing him up, Bernie’s location is a formula for success. The other changes will suggest themselves once Bernie starts getting some cash in the door. This is all conjecture, but the ingredients are present, as long as Jeff keeps his end of the bargain.

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