May 2, 2007

           There is a saying that if you have at least one friend over 83, you live in Florida. By now, Wallace has certainly passed that test, although he is much less than 83 and does not live anywhere near Florida. I told you about his infinite patience, and now you should see the twenty-something checkout clerk at Walgreen’s he’s got lined up. He was back here before ten in the morning from his spell up in Luxury Estates, or wherever it was he went to call on.
           I tell you folks, when you visit middle-class people, they have a very defined set of standards as to how you are supposed to behave. You will be entertained whether you like it or not. It is fine and dandy, but does anyone really want to look at their yard or art collection? Much of the tour is nice but can they make good coffee? Like I said, he was back here by ten so, do the math.
           Where we promptly went to Panera, and he lost a game of crib. So what is the final tally? Wallace 23, me 2. But it was the last game we played formally before he is due to leave. He’ll remember that for so long that I won’t say anything about it, n’yuk n’yuk. For those who don’t play cribbage, I include that several times women came over and asked us what we were doing. I don’t know why, but it seems to work if you like picking up strays.
           Steve, the Cancer guy, has disappeared again. Nobody at the shop has heard anything, meaning he is likely still in the slammer. This means his cat [Pudding] is long getting too comfortable around here. At Walgreen’s [above] I purchased as set of plastic combs to cut down on the cat fur in this place. It is a trade-off. The style of combs [there are many] that the cat will tolerate do not catch all the loose fur. Come on, Steve.
           See the snappy red car Wallace rented? The first one had lots of small problems, like slow flats and the trunk would not open unless you went in through the back seat. It seems all the cars where he rented are repainted and have lots of non-working parts. On this one, the electric door locks don’t work, but when they do, you have to make sure to manually lock the back doors later.
           The true test of logical thinking simply has to be database. Hours of low gear are involved, getting to the bottom of the way logic really works as opposed to the way it is supposed to work. In theory, database is one happy family. In practice, it is [insert metaphor here].
           I delivered the preliminary tables to the car lot just past noon today (48 hours since inception). The reports looked so much like the originals that at first the administrator thought I had not done any work. (This happens a lot in Florida.) She was wide-eyed when I stepped her through the data entry process. The problem with buying a pre-made database is that they are difficult to customize to your mode of doing business. Too many people waste a lot of time and money on such “shelfware” before they give me a call.
           Database is a hard sell for that reason. The packages you buy try to do too much, similar to [Quickbooks] accounting software. These applications would be vastly improved by a software switch that turns off all the bells and whistles. Most people do not use the advanced features they pay for, but those exact features make the basics hard to set up and use. A good example was the need for an extra field to enter the status of each automobile’s title. It was impossible or impractical (same thing) to set up the [inventory] field without attaching things like quantity and re-order points. That is why I advised a custom database made as simple as possible.
           Wallace and I returned the rental car and stopped by at The Stratford. It is a pub on Hollywood Blvd and I-95 where they have an “Olympic size” shuffleboard. That is another sport I never got into, but it is worth taking a look because the pub is restoring the playing surface. What a massive and careful sanding job, the playing deck is a good thirty feet long. We really just stopped to see, as Stratford is the name of a less than ahem, great pub back on the west coast.
           I ended the day by finishing the cost-benefit analysis of returning to school this Autumn. The optimum amount of education appears to be two Bachelor degrees (instead of going for a Masters), and the marginal cost for me is practically nil, since by November I will get free money to go back. That means another degree, this time from Barry, which seems to be the only reputable school in this entire area, miles ahead of the rest by any standard. It also entails that to get ahead with that degree, I must spend a few years as an employee, but my thinking is that may happen anyway.
           Then I can buy the Stratford for when Wallace returns.