Another few scenes done on the movie. Today’s shoot was the phone call to Paris. Live and learn, it has to be redone. Wallace doesn’t do his best material when distracted, for example, forgetting he must have the cigar in the mouth. Even in the rain, even in the ocean, Agent 86.5 must have a cigar in the mouth. Careful of those trademarks, dude. We’ve put in a lot establishing the identity.The scenes today were Agent 86.5’s apartment in Paris. We did a credible job of it but I still regret whenever I throw out props I think I’ll never need again. Like that wig I tossed right before we could use it, and subsequently we may have to get another actor. Trust me, go for the wig if you can. I’m already playing two roles and now we need a beefy security guard. Seven of the eighteen major scenes are done. No post-edit yet, I will wait until all the footage is taped and reviewed.
It is no secret I regard Millie-Belle a good pet for Wallace, but otherwise she is one of the stupidest dogs I’ve ever encountered. Any command has to be repeated five times and is only good for five seconds. You can’t even leave the gate open while unloading the car. You tie her up, she howls. You walk across the room, she is lying in the way and too stupid to get out of the way. You come in at night, she barks. You paint something, she’ll get her paw on it. You take her on coffee, she attacks other dogs. She naturally does everything wrong that a dog can do wrong. Such a dog cannot be disciplined, because she isn’t capable of associating punishment with what preceded. But the good news is I do know of one pet that is even stupider. (Not more stupid, but stupider.) Here are the facts.
It sleeps in Ivan’s driveway in Cuidad Bolivar. There is bush on either side of the footpath. But every time you walk up that long lane, Cheenchina will run ahead five feet at a time and stop. Then it looks over its shoulder in wide-eyed terror, thinking you are chasing her. All the way up that half-mile path, too stupid to jump into the bushes a mere inch away. Now THAT is stupid. I feel you should also know that it is a chicken. A cock-a-doodle-doo chicken is the dumbest pet I’ve seen. Millie-Belle is smarter than a chicken.
Some urban legends die hard. I was surprised today to learn some people still think experience is a good teacher. That is only a half-truth. If you are already a good learner, then experience is gravy. But if somebody is an idiot to start with, experience is just going to make them dig in their heels even harder. Since we all know people who have been doing things the wrong way their entire lives, only those who lack brains themselves would defend experience as a teacher for the less gifted. What? Well I’m sorry if I just described half the parents with kids in public schools. Maybe that’s why their kids are in public schools, know what I’m saying? Most experience is a bad thing for slow-thinkers because they just don’t get it. Do you?
Other than coffee at Panera early this morning, I spent a quiet day in the house. Except for filming that is. We still have to do the car chase which I think will go easier than it sounds. If I could just fine one more reliable person who knew the value of diversity and having fun on a budget. In the off moments, I read Jastrow, the NASA scientist that was sort of my hero long time ago. His 1950’s is work outstandingly accurate considering all the wild theories around at that time. Any of you who think the discovery of planets in other solar systems is a recent development should read Jastrow.
Off and on, I am watching “Band of Brothers”, and picking out the wild assortment of surplus equipment they’ve used, including what looks to be like a fully operational Cromwell (British tank). They’ve done a credible job with the panzers, if you overlook the obvious shots of T-34 Christie suspension. The Germans keep giving away their positions by sniping at lone scouts and are otherwise terrible marksmen who prefer to waste tank cannon shells shooting the corners off brick buildings. It is still a very well produced series, even if it was very difficult to crack the copyright protection on that sucker. (Note I did not say I copied it, only just what I said and nothing else.) You never know when a Canadian might read this. They are all over the place these days.
ADDENDUM
Don’t we all love Canadian logic?
“I like red.”
“Then you hate blue.”
“No, I said I like red.”
“Then in other words you hate blue.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Well it is the same in other words.”
“No, it is not the same.”
“Then you are saying you don’t hate blue.”
“No, I am saying I like red.”
“Well then, you hate blue.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then say you like blue.”
“I only meant that I like red.”
“Then it’s true, you hate blue.”
It is amazing to listen to them do this all day long, day after day after day. I've worked with people that went on like this year after year. They considered it meaningful dialogue, as in quality time conversation. Just because I'm immune to it doesn't meant I don't notice it. Truly, truly amazing.
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