April 19, 2009

           Another photo from the past, this is “Debbie113”, so the file says. She was a customer at the shop back in ’06 who, as you see, loved to have her picture taken. That is Fred, obliging. She was a cutie, although the picture is altered. Policy. I recall she was hot, but also that something about her kept setting off my perimeter alarm. (If curious, you could probably research the matter by using this blog alone.) Note in the right background part of a display of 1,000,000 toothpicks. I deserve an honorary doctorate just for that.
           Today, I call the entry the “Economics Lesson”. Read on, you’ll see why. Some frustrated driver abandoned an undeliverable box beside Wallace’s car last month. I did a major shop this morning, everything from cat food to granola. Thank you, Jimbo’s. This was also my first opportunity to do the rounds since Wallace left. I rarely go over to the Panera any more, and the same with Senor Café since they doubled their prices. I saw something new [for sale at Big Lots]. It is a plastic pool sixteen feet in diameter, but narrow around the rim. The rim, when inflated, floats so that the pool rises as it is filled. Ingenious. Somebody had more than water on the brain.
           Neighbor Carlos lost his wallet. With all his papers and $37. I gave him ten bucks. He says it was a pair of pants that he knew there was a hole in the pocket but took a chance. I finished the “Sopranos” DVDs at end of season six. I see they clipped off the ending, meaning unless you watch further, you’ll never know if they get whacked in the diner. Mike at the shop says there are a series of alternative endings. By coincidence, there are reruns of the series on Channel 62 or so. But I have no practice watching TV by schedule so I doubt I could remember when to be there.

           The summer weather is here, broiling by mid-morning every day. The Canadians have left and the area is quiet again. That means I can dump the yard trimmings Wallace left two months ago. Now, about the carton on the north doorstep. By the time I noticed it, all tags and labels had washed off. It was Herbalife products. I phoned their office. All I got was the robotic runaround.
           There was a card stating the shipment had been insured for $497.59, meaning nobody lost anything, so I threw it out except for the soap (which smells great). I find it shocking some people spend nearly $500 on dietary supplements whose effectiveness “has not been determined”. It caused me to reflect my own life. I should have kept the whole shipment and sold it. Let me explain why I feel that way.
           In today’s money, my parents raised me on $6.49 per day at a time when the cost was $114.15 per day. That is correct; the average person my age got twenty times more spent on their upbringing than I did. That explains why millions of them are cheery, non-addicted, artistically-motivated, debt-free and so happily married to their first spouses. (Of course, if that were true, we’d be reading their blogs, am I right?)
           Those figures might surprise a few of you who complained your allowance was too little. What the statistic does not reveal is that food alone was around $6.00 per day, leaving 49 cents for everything else in my life. Food is the one thing you cannot take along when you leave the nest. I speak from experience. But most of you took something besides education, attitudes, and fashionable clothes; you also took for granted you were worth it.
           Don’t whine if you have kids, because adjusted for inflation it is today slightly cheaper at $91.00 per child every 24 hours. Just put it on your credit card. Let the kid pay it back through taxes and inflation. If he figures out you just spent his tuition on vitamins, tell him to shut up. Doesn’t he know you’ve got problems enough of your own?

           Author's note 2015-04-19: despite the fact I have given away dozens of bottles of these supplements as gifts and such over the years, I am just now reaching the end of the supply. By December, the rest get thrown out.

           Analysis of the gig y’day shows it was the most productive use of my show time yet. This reinforces the idea that less is more, that I should be playing only bigger parties less often. What’s more, it was one of the best times I’ve personally ever had on stage, and certainly the best time as a soloist (possibly because I’m so new at it). My sound is now fleshed out and there is no mistaking bass is the featured instrument. As with all music, there is still a long way to go, but I’ve been saying that since I was 10. I saw new people in the audience. Some were impressed by the atmosphere I can create (but not yet always and everywhere, the way Arnel does).
           I would hesitate to do a blues bar full of middle-aged white guitarists. The type who took lessons along with their vitamins. Gone are my days of starting with standard tunes hoping for a crowd reaction. Let you-know-who keep doing that forever. I’ve learned to hit the room running with a series of extremely popular covers to establish the pace, which once captured, cannot be let go. One lapse and some lackey will play Nirvana on the jukebox. Further, my act requires a minimum volume before the effect takes bite. I may develop a policy against joints that should be playing a radio. I am not a coffeehouse musician and neither are my compadres.
           Which leads me to invite you to a benefit show next Sunday, the 26th. See us later in the afternoon at the Dania Beach Bar & Grill. Arnel is the feature act and it will be the first time I’ve actually played at that establishment. “I’ll hang around as long as they will let me.” (a.k.a. "The Perfect Country Western Song") That’s a reminder that my material is still predominantly country classics.