People like me do research, which is why we don’t accidentally purchase junk like the Digitech RP-50. I know research can be ho-hum to all the genius types out there who expect instant results. I’ve uncovered a drum machine suitable for stage work rather than studio crap, and it was amazing how long it took to find it. Do they intentionally hide these things? It has pretty well every feature I could ask for, including generic drum beats like “train”, “um pappa um pa” and is just beginning to do the right thing by naming tunes, such as the beat “We Will Rock You”. There’s just one problem.
The drum box is 100% virtual. It only exists on a computer screen, no such real product exists. Called the “Red Devil Groove Box”, you can download it for free, but I’ll let you hone your own research skills and find it yourself. The box is an excellent layout, with built-in equalizer, twelve categories (which kindly puts all the dreaded “latin” beats in one closet)(where they belong), and full user banks, tuning, drum kits and export to wav or midi. To further prove the creators of this product were my kind of thinkers, the volume knob has settings for zero to “are you nuts?” Dial the ambience from room to hall to arena, dry or wet.Virtual means it cannot be operated by foot pedal. Undeterred, I see that one of the keyboard shortcuts is hitting the space bar to start/stop. I’ll experiment with a surplus keyboard on the floor, or maybe just mount it where I can easily hit it with my elbow, even if I have to strap it to my side. Still, it is a telling commentary that one must resort to such jury-rigging. The Acer netbook may be a solution although I have not yet found an illustration that clearly shows the ports. You see on each new machine, besides selecting the beat, there is a certain investment with one’s time to learning quick stage turnaround, etc. You can’t be fumbling with the buttons while the audience waits, although I know some people who think that is kewl.
I don’t think the lady is going to take the room. No big deal as she turned out to be considerably less impressive in person. I'll explain. For instance, she walked in saying she saw I was “addicted to TV” since there were two sets in the room. When I pointed out she was looking at a video duplicating setup, she failed to withdraw the insult. Though she was not a clean freak, she had trouble with the concept that in Florida, fan blades collect dust. It may be that in other parts of this nation, it is the habit of folks to disassemble twenty-dollar fans and polish them, but I don’t usually.
Mind you, I admit the room has gotten dusty since February and I have to spend the time to remedy that. That may be a while, as I have been personally invited to be the Bingo caller this weekend. Told ya I was a natural. And this time I’ll run it through my PA system. Which president said no matter how bad things get people still gotta play Bingo? Yeah, the fat guy. Why pay for anything when I can use my existing gear. "Why buy the cow when you're getting the eggs for free?”-- Kelly Bundy.
A certain criticism arose concerning how this blog is sometimes published “before the day has happened”. To that party I would like to point out a few facts of life. The first of which is that the day begins at midnight, not when you come to long after the rest of us wake up. Next, please try to comprehend that some people have brains, and as much as you hate that fact, they can plan ahead and gain some basic ideas of what is about to happen. Last for now, any pre-emptive blog can be adjusted for the unforeseen this one included and it is hardly the fault of anyone around here that you don’t know how. When I say pre-emptive, I am referring to how this blog often and regularly mentions problems and issues years before the world at large spots them.
I dropped in to the Jimbos Karoke show to rub elbows. Little Jo was there. I sang “Spiders & Snakes” and “North To Alaska” mainly because they have become identified with what material I can manage. Long-time-no-see Will came by for an hour. My show tomorrow evening is expected, although I have taken a six-week break now. Later, I’ve been working with the Red Devil drum box. It is an excellent product. Too bad a very few shortcomings make it unusable on stage, although you should check back in case I change my mind.
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