What do you know, I can still sleep for 13 hours if I try. It could have been more hadn’t Fred phoned to see where I was. Sleeping in, that’s where. I was in the shop eleven minutes later. First suspect is my recently changed prescriptions, and everyone knows I’m far too young to have to take all that old people stuff.The Red Devil drum box guy has bowed out of the picture. He sent me some other software to check out. They were not suitable for stage work. That puts me back at square one but the quest is not over. The few available software boxes, other than Red Devil, are a massive clutter of buttons and switches which “reads like some MicroSoft home page”.
The evening was today’s high point. During a thunderstorm, I called a bingo game amidst plentiful compliments. Since this now represents a new source of income, let me dwell on the non-technical details. I only know how to play basic bingo. One line, four corners or a blackout. Except you can’t call it a “black” out any more. The normal evening is ten games, with patterns like “postage stamp” and “hat pin”. It’s alright I suppose, and tends to drag the games out a little longer.
That’s where I come in. I have the PA system and it is vast overkill for bingo calling. It beats that lousy overhead at the casino Wallace and I went a few months ago. My setup is crystal clear, nobody misses a number. I always wear slacks and a tie when I’m calling. Nobody argues with a bingo caller wearing a tie. The players number from 10 to 15, so most everybody wins something The house provides a bingo “gumball” machine and I get free sodas all night long.
Saturdays I usually don’t go to Jimbos, so I never much see the cops drop by, as they do at all local bars in the area. You should have seen the reaction on this one. I play classical music in the background. It prevents anyone from using the juke box, and cuts down on people missing a number because they were distracted. So in walks this six-six cop who looks around. Then stops and listens to a piano concerto. Then he stares at my tie. Then watches the players. The priceless look on his face, “Am I in the right place? Huh?”
Then in stroll Eddie and his gal, who promptly learn that yelling a false bingo buys a round for the house. She informs me that at other bingo games, it is customary for the winner to tip the caller. I suddenly like that custom. And that explains the new source of income – ten games a night. I remind all that I gauge income on weekends not by what I make, but by what I do not spend. Thus, even if I break even and still get out and have a good time, I know I am up a day’s pay over the way I used to be.
I was Mr. Saturday Night until just ten years ago. For me to go out, have fun, meet women, get on stage and get paid besides, I’m a laughing man. The bingo income is from entertainment, so it gets included in my “band” books, same as if I was calling a Karaoke show. Eat my dust, all you guitarists who think you can play better than I do. Off the topic, but I mention that Eddie, the guitarist who listened to my bass theories, is now perfectly content with my bass-heavy arrangements. He refers to me as “the new lead player”. Whether it is better remains for the audience to decide. (Who am I kidding, we are going to set the audiences on fire!) One thing for sure, my show is about as far from clone lead guitaring as you can get.
The owners were in and saw the whole bingo thing. One customer did leave in protest to the classical music, but nobody else flinched at that. This may be the only classical bingo in town and it is gaining permanency. Yes, we do have the odd non-bingo player come in just for the relaxing atmosphere, and it is sometimes characters who surprise me at that. Like Scotty. I think I will develop some far more sophisticated music disks special for this purpose. For now I just play whatever is on my intermission DC.
Does it make a difference? Yes, it is already apparent certain types of classical music work better. And, strangely, instrumental Christmas carols seem fine as well. It can’t be long-hair classical or boredom sets in during the quieter passages. I’ve learned balance is more than important. Favorites are “Greensleeves” and “Rondo a la Turka” Some newer material will also work; listen to Enya’s “Orinoco Flow”.
The big news is that for the first time in over 60 years, Florida’s population went down. High prices, unaffordable housing, low wages, crumbling infrastructure, gangs, crooked cops, minority favoritism and lousy consumer protection laws add up to a 58,000 person loss. And it is the cream of the crop clearing out, not the welfare cases. We’ve all heard the joke about the Florida apartment that burned down and everybody died except the white folks. They were away at work. The study groups say the drop isn’t that bad, but I say it is. That’s like a small city disappearing off the map. Did this group consider the ramifications of the loss of infrastructure as well?
No, or they’d know the effects are delayed maybe six months from now. How many supermarkets, stores and gas stations are required to supply 58,000 people? Probably a thousand. Just because they don’t all shop at one place, there is no getting around that the equivalent-unit number of places will close up shop. The Florida Ponzi economy, like people who live on credit, needs a constantly expanding population base. I say the worst is yet to come. It will come from terrific altitude with deadly accuracy. So you types who own a credit card, a mortgage or a car loan, please don’t stand so close to me.
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