Here’s a beautiful Florida sunset. Looking west over the oil spill. Eddie and I were talking music again, and he posed a question that surprised me. I was explaining how my new system worked when he asked how, with no guitar music, did I know when I was singing on key? Ah, that's why he never does anything a cappella. He can't hear his own notes unless he hears a chord. It is not uncommon to find among guitarists such a total lack of understanding over what an electric bass is all about. Not uncommon at all.
A few people e-mailed me to read the local Craigslist music page, where some lawyer is apparently going on about how original lead guitar is the superior instrument. Actually gang, he never states he is a lawyer. But the rest is true, he’s a case of guitaritis so plumb loco he’s rendered himself useless. He’s got himself and nobody else convinced he plays original music. Don’t get me wrong, if I ever hear anything original in South Florida, you know I will instantly report it here. But he fails to give directions to his concerts. One is more likely to hear about original music before one pays to hear original music. Which, in this town, is a wise precaution.
Guitaritis is a mind disease which manifests itself in words, never actions. The victims buzz like vuvuzelas over their string and pickup brands, then disappoint us all with the sound. The victims grow up pretending to be their heroes, so one should empathize when, in adulthood, they all look and act the same. The dead giveaway is usually their time-worn stage presence. Like those hair-flinging head twirls and the 1960s knee-slide. Worst of all is the Clapton look-at-me-in-a-trance trill mode. My God, it would be so nice to see something new.
Any amount of research shows that most hit songs are written by keyboard players, not guitarists. Yet, the feeling amongst guitarists is that they bear the burden of originality, and it is the lack of true dedication and talent by their support troupe that holds them back. It is, they go on, the responsibility of the rest of the band is to “work together” as long as it is “behind” their trailblazing guitar. And that, folks, is guitaritis.
Talk about humiliating, the president is firing a general for exercising the very freedom of speech the soldier was defending. Now, I am no fan of these generals with their fifty useless medals apiece, but I’m even less keen on a politician who can’t deal with criticism. Political stuff-shirts come off like spoiled brats stunned at the very suggestion they are screwing things up, as if every last one of us does not already know. As you may have guessed, I consider politicians akin to a species of Anopheles.
I believe that America is an advanced enough nation to outlaw politics and that people who need to be led around by the nose don’t belong in a democracy. To paraphrase Willie Nelson, “I liked this country better when nobody was in charge.” I don’t look at a newly discovered tropical island and start thinking of how to tax and regulate the natives. And I have no respect for those who do.
It is enlightening to learn one of the main objections of these self-serving politicians is that McCrystal doesn’t care who they are. When being lectured by the Vice-President, McCrystal did exactly what I would have done. He turned to the person beside him and asked “Who’s that?” Washington reminds me of Berlin near the end of the big one, when Hitler kept replacing his competent generals with one hack after another.
[Author’s note: I may be one of few, but I actually read the story in “Rolling Stone” magazine, which focuses on McCrystal’s style of leadership and personality, not any undue criticisms or anything out of line. At least not anything you wouldn’t hear in a coffee or barber shop. So, he dislikes attending “diplomatic” functions and restaurants that are too “Gucci”. For crying out loud, the guy is a friggin’ soldier, unless some of the offended have not heard.]
Politics, such a waste of time. The old shop is almost vacant and I’m taking down the toothpick display on Saturday. It is going into the Taurus for storage. That car was bought with toothpick money so there is some irony to it all. It also means the Taurus cannot be used for anything else.
Cowboy Mike has called, he’s got the consumer blues. It is practically impossible for a non-computer person to burn a CD based on reading the instructions. He tried it for three days before giving up. The worst instructions are for Windows Media Player. I'll say it again for anyone who missed it: you cannot follow the published Windows instructions and burn a disk. Try it. I maintain except for the first guy, every other person who burned a disk (except me) had somebody show him how to do it..
* I'm informed, considerably later, that the correct spelling is McChrystal.
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