For reasons unknown, I like to think that everyone to whom my writing has any appeal has a sanctuary, or at least access to some place to relax and get away from it all. To me, that means even more on a Friday, my traditional day off. And I’m trying to read more of that book, “Fire”. It is definitely not a children’s book but it reads like one. It could be that some people like to read about other people solving puzzles. I know that sometimes people watch me solving the crossword. Which to me seems the utmost of strange.Now a confession. Over the previous months there have been a series of extremely factual postings concerning the end of the world. Not the crackpot stuff on Craigslist, but proper warnings complete and backed up by historical, scientific, and astrological references, an appeal to the deep-thinker. Well, to those who though they were deep-thinkers. That was me! Ha and phooey on anyone who fell for it. I hope you really did turn all the clothes in your closet inside out and soak your feet in cider vinegar. They probably needed it.
Next is the new phone for JP. His first cellular. Let me think, when did I get my first cell phone? It was one of those brick-like Nokias, cost me $600. That was 1992, and I’m slow to adopt unproven technology. But not as slow as JP, so this here is Xmas present. The SD card reader at lower right is my present this year, it is Arduino compatible. One of the major drawbacks of the Arduino is that it has no useful on-board memory capability, and memory is needed for any type of robot beyond the toy versions. I first experimented with artificial intelligence back in 1982/83.That was on an Apple ][e, a clone from Taiwan. Back then there was no software for sale, you typed in the hundreds or thousands of lines of code, debugged it, and every program was standalone (you did not install it, you loaded it each time you used it). It is actually very easy to program a robot to “kill”. In fact, almost any mission success definition that allows the program to look into memory for what worked best in the past will elicit aggressive behavior within a few cycles of the code.
Watch for me griping, because the memory needs C+ coding to operate, and C+ is the language of complete dickhead retards. It takes something like 17 keystrokes to tell C+ to begin a new print line. And of course, the worst mistake of any programming language is to ignore letter cases. Capital A and small a are not the same, but the computer world is crammed full of nerds who never learned that in grade one. From my point of view, there are 53 letters in the English alphabet. The small letters, the big letters, and equally important, the blank space between words, knowwhatimean?
Another change, or should I say a shifting of ballast. I will decline to enter singing contests where I have won before, and I’ll explain why. Tonight was the big end of the year contest and I fully admit I have never been a regular patron. I’ve probably showed up less times than anyone that was present. I not only won first prize, I hear that I slam-dunked it. But, I’m not out to create any hard feelings. Henceforth, no more contests unless personally invited by the emcee.
If so many people there had not known me, it entirely looked like I was some pro that swooped in for the prize money, then left for another show (I was on my way to Jimbos.) Here’s the $50 first prize plus a chance to go to Nashville, [the trip] determined by draw, not by talent. But I would like to say a few words in my own defense in case not everybody knows what just happened.I am not a professional singer and I have never yet fronted a full stage show as one. As a matter of fact, I recognized all names on the list from Ron’s Karaoke years ago, making me the least experienced singer in the room. Nor did I do my best material because the DJ chose my songs. But I do admit to bothering to learn the lyrics to my music instead of staring at the TV screen, and also to choosing sing-a-long numbers so the crowd joins in. If you did not happen to notice the crowd join in, then don’t presume to be competing on a level playing field.
Having said that, I was surprised myself because I was called up as soon as I entered the room and had not heard what went before. I’m first to tell how not every show is a winner but that a hefty helping of professionalism can minimize the outright failures. I’ve laid to eggs in the past year and tonight was just the other extreme. I credit the right combination of audience, atmosphere, acoustics, and even the interval between my two numbers, all beyond my control.
Sometimes the elements work right and I had no way of knowing that nobody else got a standing ovation. Also, I did a duet and I’ve noticed the other singers seem to avoid these known crowd-pleasers.
In conclusion, my singing ability alone is not enough to explain tonight. Most of you sang slow and draggy songs. None of you drew the patrons into your music. I know the microphone was set wrong, but I sang through the same equipment. I had my songs and keys ready and didn’t make people wait. I left plenty of room on the dance floor and shared the spotlight. These things have little to do with musical ability and every other singer present has had far more opportunity than I have ever had to put the finishing touches on their stage presence. See the brad nailer I bought with my winnings. Thank you and have a Merry Xmas.ADDENDUM
I don’t normally quote large passages, but here is what HH had to say on Craigslist today in reply to a post that women get paid less because they waste so much time in the office. I was impressed by her observation that if women really did the same job as men for 30% less, there would hardly be an employed man left throughout the country.
“I am a woman and agree with your post...sort of. I don't have kids and don't plan on ever having them. This year, we've had two girls who had to go out on maternity leave, one right after the other. Who was left doing the work? Me and one other girl. Then, they bring their kids in so that everyone can see them. Talk about a time waster. Everyone gets up out of their cubes or offices to come see the little brats. Funny...last time I checked, this was a corporation and not a daycare.
Then, to make matters worse, the women gossip about the stupidest and untrue bullshit. So and so heard from so and so who consulted a psychic that the other girl did blah blah blah. Who cares what people do off the clock? You're stealing from the company by taking literally half the day to bs about lies. Why? Because it makes you hateful bitches happy to revel in someone else's possible misery as your lives are mundane and filled with mental illness. The Germans coined a term for it - schadenfreude.
I understand sending a text message every now and then...emergencies happen. I'd rather an employee send a text than what the rest of the women in my department do. They spend hours on the phone with their children and families trying to sort out doctors appointments and to yell at them. Seriously ladies, tell your families how worthless and stupid they are after 5:30 pm. It's because of stupidity like yours that give people fodder to gossip about.
We only have a handful of men in our department. There used to be no men. The men are just as equally as bad at time wasting, but it's different. The guys don't seem to gossip. They complain about coworkers and their obnoxious/stupid/callous behaviors, but it's not meant to cut anyone down...just to vent. They make mustaches and mustache each other. When they take personal calls, it's almost always on their cell phones and they go outside someplace.
The worst offender in our department is our director. I'll give it to her that she comes in at a reasonable hour. When she comes in, she spends an hour in the kitchen talking about sports or reality tv, then she goes into another woman's office to gossip, then she spends a few hours in the managers office gossiping, then, it's lunchtime. She does a little bit of work, then goes home at a reasonable hour, usually early on Friday. I think she must be allergic to Monday because she's not usually in on Monday.
It's a corporation. They're paying you to do something for them. By sitting there and doing the opposite of that, you're stealing. Just because they have billions in the bank doesn't mean that it's right to steal from them.
It's not women that are the problem, man. It's this whole country. No one has any kind of work ethic anymore. No one takes pride in their work. No one cares because they know they'd really have to mess up big time before someone fires them. Have any of you noticed the amount of simple spelling errors in articles, ads, and anything else in print? Have any of you tried to deal with a "customer service rep" lately?
