Stand by for a blockbuster. Okay, stand down. That property is scratched off the list. Here’s your explanation. First, the ad was deceptively worded to imply the townhouse was a “single family dwelling”. A townhouse is not really the same thing, that’s why it is called a townhouse. You neighbor owns the other half of your wall. But the real problem is the ad and the pictures were contrived to disguise what I found when I drove out there this afternoon. The place is a project. If you don’t know what a housing project is, you don’t live in the south.
Today was another six-month medical for me, I’m still radioactive but don’t worry ladies, nothing glows in the dark except my watch dial. I believe I passed everything. Even the treadmill barely winded me where before I could not make the 90 second mark. Since I know my general health is a matter of intense interest to you all, I’ll just say that I’ve lost ten percent of my weight goal in three months. Can’t tell by looking, I don’t feel any better, I’m hungry all the time, but still, ten percent.
The batbike has passed the 10,000 mile mark with myself as the navigator. No fanfare, I’ve been using it for the longer trips around town. But it looks like I’ll be a motorcycle driver for life. Please give me the open road. I have to stick around for the med test results until the end of July. I had normally planned to be elsewhere on vacation by then. Well, I may have to take a fall trip this year due to finances anyway. This month was hundreds over budget, consisting of prescription co-pay and a new eBike battery. The cost was absorbed by my generous margins but it ripped a chunk out of my savings.
So I came home and read Craigslist. I still get a laugh out of the guitar-player mentality in the musician’s section. All the guitarists looking for gigs. They say they are tired of “rehersing” and wanna play. That’s reasonable unless you play in a band. You got to get out there and hustle but they don’t want that part. Just the gravy. They have a lot to learn. For the next couple weeks, I’m checking out lounges, which are surprisingly rare in this area. This band has a piano, which may give us an edge.
My most recent survey shows seven clubs that hire entertainment. It is usually on weekends and usually somebody they already know. But there are plenty of freeloaders. Those are establishments that fancy themselves clever enough to get something for nothing. They try all the oldest tricks in the book. Open mic. Blues night. Jam session. Battle of the bands. Open mics always die off in this town when the friends of the host get tired of working for free.
Let me delve into the music expenses, something too many band members foolishly don’t track. I did what I sometimes call “inventory and reality”. Some items are estimated and need to be brought into line time to time. I harshly valued every cord and cable, everything musical I own in the world. And my expenses leapt to a reasonable figure of 49.5 cents out of every dollar that comes in. This is due to several factors, the most influential being the lack of income to pay for the outgo. A chunk of it ($350) is the Ampeg bass amp, it is too small and too unreliable. That is going to be an expensive replacement in the immediate future.
But I’d like to see this new band produce some paying gigs first. As long as they are (and this is important, so pay attention) neither finding any gigs nor following up on any of the leads I provide, I hesitate to spend. New equipment ties up a lot of money and has to be moved, stored, and babysat. This is not the first instance of this situation with Florida musicians, the same thing happened with the Hippie. I shelled out a thousand bucks for nothing. You recall that? He’d complain he had to get all the gigs, but would refuse to commit to a gig unless it was his own. Screw that.
ADDENDUM
My fancy dating club now officially becomes a waste of money so far. I know from experience if I don’t score in a reasonable time, just move on. I’m so unlike those guys who hang around a joint forever because they got lucky once back in their teens. Also, I know that if I’m in a room full of women where not even one reacts to my personality, they are collectively a boring lot. This is quite rare but it happens and I was surprised this dating club was such a place.
The profiles are better than you’ll find at eHarmony, but only to the extent it takes a lot longer to spot the pattern. The men talk about what they’ve done, the women about what they want to do. The education level [of these women] is through the roof but none of them are risk-takers. Their degrees and careers have not done much for their marketability. They want the same things they did back in college. (A man smart enough to make money but dumb enough to give them control.)
Personality seems to make little difference. I examined the other men’s profiles. Every last one of them is taller, better-looking, richer, fitter, more educated, younger-looking, harder-working, more photogenic, and more talented than I could ever be in my wildest dreams. Straighter teeth and more hair, too. Funny how few men like that exist in real life, so they must all be hiding out in that club. Unless you can think of some other explanation.
The women have a generic pattern as well. They like wine (I hate it), they list the same nonsense about candlelit dinners, walks on the beach, sense of humor, love of travel. Yet none of them point out any places they’ve been in the past, know what I’m saying? These are the women who panic when offered exactly what they ask for. In a word, they are boring. Just as boring as the women you meet on the city bus. I’m sorry gals if any of you read this, but you are b-o-r-i-n-g.
And I long ago made my choice between spending my life with a boring woman or taking my chances.
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