December 22, 2013

           Stop, don’t run out and buy me this razor for Xmas. Whew, I stopped you just in time. The photo is just here to demonstrate the crapulence being foisted upon last minute shoppers. Really, a two hundred dollar electric razor? I could see it if was maybe a laser that zapped my beard and left my cheeks baby smooth. But listen to me, these razors are 1960 technology and steel can only be made so sharp before it becomes too brittle to cut anything.

           How did first major rehearsal go with Mr. Jag? This, I say folks, this is a winning combination. Refer to the addendum. We are both three years older, he’s learned to play with confidence, I’ve learned to sing with confidence. I know synergy when I find it. I can already think of a few people who will be sorry they didn’t listen to me.
      &nbs
p;    So I took the day off and spent all my bingo money. That’s spent, not wasted, and I even treated myself to a few luxuries. Like tartar sauce in the glass bottle. Yes, it makes a difference. I picked up a three month supply of batteries, and month’s supply of ginger snaps. We know how to party around here. But I did not replace my GPS, which stopped working right after that blasting rainstorm as I pulled back into town from my trip. I know the programmer meant well, but it would turn itself on whenever I hit the ignition. I don’t want that when the battery is low. So I unplugged it and now it is junk.

           Now if you are going Xmas shopping, be sure to pick up your du Pont Registry. You don’t want to be caught still driving a 2010 anything. Now there is a magazine that really knows what men want for Xmas. Here is a snap of the best-looking model in the current issue, but you know, she is not as good-looking as my ex. But she is the best that money can buy. The du Pont classifieds reveal that once again, New Jersey (the Soprano State) leads the nation in used Ferrari sales. And if you peel your bananas apart when you get home, they last longer.

           Just because I declined the phlebotomy course, that doesn’t mean I didn’t read the textbook. I looked more closely into cell biology because I was interested how some of the little parts residing inside plant and animal cells have different genetic material. It is still CTGA based, but it doesn’t match the cell nucleus. In plants those are chloroplasts and in animals, the red blood cells. The premise is that a few billion years ago, these organisms were absorbed by cells and instead of being digested, developed a symbiotic relationship. Fascinating.

           Have you seen the latest in armored cars? No, I don’t mean the guys who deliver bank cash and keep pulling those inside jobs. The kind of armor I suppose you need when you are worth too much money. Here is an Alpha, a rig built on a Mercedes chassis. The only price you’ll see quoted at their website states only that “human life is priceless”.

           You are looking at around $70,000. The package includes a respiration system in the back that can keep the cabin supplied with fresh air for up to three hours. Only the driver’s window will operate and he is in a cage separate from the vehicle interior. They don’t say, but it is likely this driver’s position could be overridden by a second steering position inside the passenger compartment.
           Sales to Iraq are said to be “brisk”.

ADDENDUM
           What can I say? This (reforming of the duo of Jag & I) was the most successful band rehearsal yet. Not just this time around, but in my life. Since this topic is now certain to overshadow anything else on the horizons, I’ll give you a quick recap. Or you could painstakingly go find the original reports in this blog, here are the first several mentions.

August 24, 2010
August 27, 2010
August 28, 2010
August 29, 2010
August 31, 2010
September 1, 2010
           With those few links, you can follow how Jag picked up the material in record time and for the remainder of the summer and that winter of 2010 we learned technique, a lot of it stage technique. But he was too young to contribute to the financial or organizational aspects of the operation. At that time I had barely learned to sing and was not yet back on my feet. And despite glowing reports of his learning speed and workmanship, I had only the red scooter and could not even move my own PA system.
           I was also auditioning other musicians back then. Looking for a shortcut, I suppose. This was before I concluded they were a bloody waste of time. Jag and I parted ways, but during our stint I taught him very little music, instead I covered the trade of playing in a band. I left him with the recommendation to focus on rhythm playing. Sure enough, he did precisely that, which surprised me because I’m aware of the temptations out there to become a clone guitarist.

           You should hear us now. He became particularly keen on how the bass meshes with a solid rhythm and is thus much better at playing certain syncopated beats that many ignore—because without the bass part, they sound choppy or reedy. He has the discipline to keep that rhythm through the entire song without lapsing into a comp. Thus instead of going over material, this morning we moved quickly to our musical frontier. In place of individual tunes, we got into voicings and were quickly cranking out meshed rhythms that are certain crowd-pleasers.
           How do I know a win/win situation? I watch for the signals. Jag takes only moments to un-learn a habit. A few moments of false starts and I see the “Aha” look. Why others never learn this is beyond me. The best I can describe it is that instead of playing along with the band, we play together in the band. And we spend as much time as needed to get that rhythm right before discussing what tune is involved. Try that with the Mustang Sally crowd. This band is a winner. We need only persist.

           [Author's note 2021: the band lasted until Jag left to go to college. However, we kept in touch over the years and he may be back in the picture as a software developer.]