This is Miami Beach this afternoon. If you look dead center, there is a glimpse of a sand berm and the Atlantic Ocean is just behind that, maybe 120 yards from here. This is the corner of 5th and Ocean. Or put another way, the corner of city to be. I remember a few years ago you would have had to call in the riot squad to get a picture like this at the height of tourist season. Today, one local on a bicycle in attendance, and I think that is because the bicycle was broken. But, there is still no parking. Every square inch is taken and what is available has become so expensive that the beach loses money over the disincentive.
JZ screwed things up. He arrived early, which is in itself a first, waiting ten minutes, then took off by himself. I arrived at the appointed time and waited two hours. When He did not return, I went to the movies. The Mosiac is at work in Coconut Grove (named for the utter lack of coconuts or groves in the area). They have the new “license” parking meters. You have to punch your license plate number into the meter. This is another tile in your profile, as they obviously keep a permanent record of your tag, along with the time and date. But don’t worry, it is no big deal, it’s just one little tile more.
However, the max parking spot I could find was two hours. So I almost saw “The Monument Men”. I had to walk out just as the Soviet officer was opening the page showing the Madonna and child. Having a degree in military history, I was wondering how they could stretch that into a movie. They did, and it is remarkably accurate. Since JZ did not show up there either, I drove back to Quizno’s. Nothing. So I took A1A home and the traffic jam along Ocean Drive means I spent more time at Miami Beach today than in the 15 years I’ve been here. (No big deal, the beach has been taken over by weirdos and is not a pleasant destination).
Speaking of parking, the Art Festival has taken on the appearance of just another rip-off. I didn’t attend, but you can see the main area from downtown. The entire area has people with flags cashing in on the lack of street parking. It’s $25 to park your car, twice the admission price to the exhibits. That includes the regular parking lots that normally charge $1.50 per hour. And they wonder why these events have less attendance every year. Because people are morons, that’s why. On the way home, I saw some parking for $20, but that was a good mile walk from the gate. Honestly, I prefer it when an artist sets up a few paintings in a coffee shop or the sidewalk to these bloated festivals.
Once north of south beach, I was in Condo Canyon for the next hour. To idle away the time and a quarter tank of gas, I got to thinking about advanced QBASIC programming. Then it hit me, one of those “aha moments”. Want to follow along with my logic? Okay, you asked for it.
We all know the kids entering the job market these days have never lived without a computer. They necessarily have the absolute best access to all computer resources and the savvy to know how to use them. Therefore, the best-equipped defenders of the Internet must be the Class of ’91. Well, you probably know I don’t buy one minute of that “kids are smarter today” goddamned nonsense.
So how do I explain the whiz kids who write anti-virus programs? Only pure geniuses could take on the hackers and beat them at their own game. But that is pure bunk, anybody who knows human nature knows it cannot work like that. So I applied common sense to how anti-virus code must really work. You see, smart people can think like stupid people any time they want, but not the other way around. Ken, Wallace, & Patsie, I hope I didn't just spoil your whole day.
Get a blank hard drive, format it and put only your operating system software on it. Not even a connection to the Internet. Now, create a QBASIC program that uses a DOS shell to create a database of every file and folder that is supposed to be on that computer. Then you introduce a virus. Conceptually, these are easy steps. You don’t have to know a thing about anti-virus code. You merely compare the updated file list to the original. Anything new isn’t supposed to be there.
This also explains a number of aspects of anti-virus programs. That is why they want you to update your list regularly. You would not have to do that if they were writing code that prevented the anti-virus from attacking. And it explains why the best anti-virus programs only catch around 64% of the bad stuff. I may have a whirl at this myself, as I have just such a computer on hand. This approach requires very little experience, skills, maturity or resources, so it MUST be how the whiz kids are doing it. That’s the psyche of that crowd. Forget about becoming a personal success, just get the money.
ADDENDUM
So what on Earth is this? First of all, it isn’t Earth. It’s Ganymede, a map of one of Jupiter’s moons that is probably inhabitable. If it hadn’t been for that Space Shuttle fiasco, we’d probably be there by now. Ganymede is one of the four moons discovered by Galileo, a total of 67 moons are now confirmed for that planet. For a shocker on how much interplanetary photography has advanced, go to USGS and blow up the map to the highest resolution your computer can handle. All these maps are public information. Imagine what the scientists must have.
If you get intrigued, visit the Galileo web site. As far as I am concerned, and I may point out I’ve spend some 5,000 hours reading on the topic, life will arise spontaneously wherever there is liquid salt water. I did not say DNA based life, but all you need is seawater, electricity and about a billion years. I am satisfied there is salt water on Ganymede.
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