One year ago today: May 18, 2013, a half-ton of information.
Five years ago today: May 18, 2009, Ft. Lauderdale.
Band practice and a friend’s birthday, that is today for me. Since I can’t have cake, I went shopping at the Russian “health food” store. Yep, once you insist on reading the labels, the largest local source of chemical-free food is that imported from Europe or European Russia. Exception, Iceland. For some reason the same product from Iceland costs nearly twice the price. This is the market over on Federal Highway. Actually, I rarely buy the fruit and veggies shown here.
Inability? Yes. If a new selection cannot be learned in, say, a week, then that is too long. And I can very accurately guess how many hours someone has spent on a new stretch of music. The other band members didn’t knuckle down on the very songs they chose themselves.
I’m not saying the individuals in my band are any better or any worse than the others I’ve met in this town. But I am now satisfied others may be rejecting perfectly good music because they are so slow at picking it up—or worse, are not putting in the time. At my age, I finally realize that? Well, yes, the very premise of being in a band is that you must either have the talent or the time to learn fast. I’ve always had the talent, so I never thought about it until Florida where you get surrounded by guitarists who have not learned a damn new thing in twenty years. Slow learning is not bad in itself, but it does restrict the band to playing only the music the guitarist already likes and knows. And that is definitely bad, let me tell you.
For example, if I was going to play the Buckinghams, I’d play something even non-guitarists could recognize, such as “Kind of a Drag”. The Buckinghams were a complete Beatles rip off band right down to the skinny pants and bangs to the eyebrows. They were either a four-piece or five-piece, hard to tell because between 1965 and 1970 they had about twenty different members. But if I had to choose the worst song they ever put out, it would be “Mercy, Mercy, Mercy”*, one of those idiotic brass-rock concoctions that infected the early rock scene until bands wised up and realized trumpet players were from the wrong era. Yet, guess which song is adored by guitarists? I’ll learn it, but it crowds out some other popular song that would do the band some good. (I also dislike learning obscure guitar music because once the band breaks up I can’t use it.)
Interesting is the word for retirement. I’ve learned a lot over these years. By the time I hit 66, I’ll be a pro at it. Here I am, and except for a place about three times this size, I’m pretty happy. And comfortable. This morning I decided to read some short stories. For some reason, I’ve never been able to crank out that type of material, yet it is where I could probably compete. The quality has really gone downhill in the past 15 years. I figure there must be a college somewhere that is mass-producing these authors. Their style is increasingly dry and one-dimensional and it is evident they are writing for a living. But, like indie music, some of it does hit the side of a barn.
The most popular author I cannot appreciate has the unlikely name of Ann Pancake. She has managed to keep her birthdate off the Internet and her blog and her web page. How did I learn about Ann Pancake? Here, go to her blog and see if you can figure it out on your own. But seriously, this lady has a PhD in English lit, so please, read one of her stories and compare it to this blog. The outcome is not in doubt. And as far as I know, she was born in 1963 and is 51 years old.
Author's note 2015-05-18: in the end, I turned this around on the band, thinking "I'll show them." The song they chose blatantly revealed how they never considered the bass line as an equal partner in the music. When I listened to this I heard the horns--and may I have a show of hands: what happens when this bass player hears a horn section that isn't really there? I re-wrote the bass part to emulate the horns and played that on stage. But even that was not enough to change their attitude toward bassists. Even when this song became the one used to introduce the band. I stress, that's their concept of bass playing, not of me personally. They are still the most talented group I've met in Florida.
ADDENDUM
I’ll cut it short today, but I think a word on nutrition would be fair to the Russian store mentioned above. I have had to temper my decisions to cut out frankencorn products just because it is so hard to find replacements. I now will occasionally consume items with 2% or less corn content. But the Russians don’t dump chemicals into their canned goods. I’ll accept my pickles a little paler in color and my cherries pink instead of red, I understand the canning process blanches things. The Ruskies have not yet learned to lace their products with chemicals.
Now, here is another picture of how you can be sure of getting a pure product. Yummy.
