One year ago today: March 30, 2014, many topics.
Five years ago today: March 30, 2010, Iko Iko, the wrong lyrics.
Ten years ago today: March 30, 2005, read Hewlett-Packard’s dirty secret.
MORNING
Did I tell you about the world conspiracy that can detect when you are broke? Let me check, yes, I did. Oh, then let me run over this morning to drive that nail in solid, to get a good fit. Now listen close, because I don’t really mean there is a conspiracy, only that you won’t go wrong treating the situation as if it was. Lawyer's call this situation the "net effect".
Sometimes I’d arrive at the clinic ten minutes late and the waiting room was stacked by then. You don’t get out until 1:30 PM, by which time you are delusional hungry. Of course, while you are waiting, some dodo always walks past with a steaming cup of coffee the whole room can smell. You wonder if you should mug the guy or slap him silly. Anyway, to the rescue, the club meets up with Agt. M afterwards at the nearest food place. Wendy’s.
On top of this, he had rode the pedal bicycle over and that will remind you when you last had a bite to eat, oh yeah. So here it is folks. Read the receipt and you just saw an ordinary citizen chow down $15.00 worth of junk food in one session. Look close, the only thing for me was the $0.00 Sr Coffee. I bet him another dollar he was not going to go home and work on the monster bike, but that he was going to flop dead to sleep. Hmmm, it is five hours later and he hasn’t called to borrow any tools.
Should I pretend I’m “really concerned” and go wake him up? Bwaaaaa-ha-ha-ha!
NOON
“She’s so cheap her pancakes only have one side.” (Farm wisdom)
Not that Agt. M is the only one with broke problems. I misread the calendar and thought the first was last Saturday. So I’m broke. Well, not broke enough to starve or anything, but broke. So, how did the conspiracy get me? Since Saturday, the scooter brakes went, the battery is dying, the starter is wearing out, the motor mounts started wobbling this morning, and the rear tire sprung a slow leak. See, it’s sedition, I tell you.
I’m speculating on the motor mounts. There is a wobble developing and I’ve checked everything I know. Winston Churchill said that about eliminating the possible. What else wobbles if it’s not the axles or anything in my experience? It must be something I have no idea—like motor mounts. To the shop on Wednesday, I say! This scooter, now at 14,680 miles, has been so economical that I quit caring what repairs cost.
What? You want to know what that long piece of lumber is with the groove along the centerline? Oh, that’s one of the skids that Homeless Depot lumber packs arrive on. The groove is where the steel packing strap rests during shipping. They throw out this kiln-dried, pressure treated, and actually fine lumber because unimaginative people can’t find any use for it.
In fact, it makes great drill bit holders, wood anvils, wagon bumpers, fence guides, and carves easily into all kinds of shapes from skeleton keys to simulated microphone booms. But, being an avid blog reader, you already know about all that. It almost makes one wonder what else is going to happen next. Now, if I could only find a use for that bag of millet I still own. Most of the birds in the area won’t eat it.
As for my "broke" theory (see above), I'm actually very well outfitted to deal with multiple breakdowns. The portable battery boost that fits snuggly in my jockey box is one clue. I say it is only the heightened sense of vulnerability that makes people think the world is ganging up on them. In reality, the world is just not that organized to start with.
NIGHT
I had a chance to go to the Hard Rock for free, but declined. The casino is around ten miles away. It was bought by the Seminole tribe in 2006, but the joint was in operation before that. I never really hit the casinos because there is nothing interesting to do there. Plus, I don’t like the “big spender” atmosphere they encourage. It makes a cup of coffee more expensive than some booze. And that just ain’t right.
Allow me to say a word or two about the casinos. I guess I not only don’t like the casinos, I don’t like the crowd that hangs out there. There is something I find annoying about people who “enjoy” gambling. They don’t look very happy to me. I have not been to Hard Rock since Wallace got laughed out of town.
The casinos like to push the non-gambling aspects of the location, but what are those? They have rock bands and comedy shows, but I have never yet driven the twenty miles to go see one. This picture shows the “bachelorette” parties that offer “$100 off” hotel rooms, but myself, I’d take as dim a view of that as I do the so-called bachelor parties. They send the wrong message and that is that.
The few times I’ve been in a casino, the people are not partying and socializing. They are glued to machines or posing at cards. I’m beginning to understand why they are called crap tables. Nobody is really talking, except talking gambling shit. To me, there is something so low-IQ about a room full of old men with racing forms. It’s all pretty shallow. And as for the women, you got a choice. Obvious gold-diggers or skitzy old ladies with their plastic jar of nickels.
No. Thank. You.
ADDENDUM
How fares my ongoing experiment with the artificial horizon? Last evening it was too dang cold. Today, I was out there to make an unexpected discovery. Because there are well over 100 objects listed in the Nautical Almanac, I never thought there would be a shortage of stars. In a sense there isn’t, but take one example. The most readily visible planet at dusk is Venus. But it appears in the western sky. Therefore, I must be standing to the east of my artificial horizon.
Thusforth, I must be to the north to measure Orion and to the west to pick out planets in the eastern sky. What’s the problem? Well, my theory is based on a horizon 30 feet away. Thus, I must have either a sixty foot diameter working space or a pole I can move around. Which right now I do not have. The alternative is to measure or calculate when each celestial object passes over the direction opposite my chosen marker and viewpoint.
This is not a defeat, just a small hurdle. Even then, this is likely a consideration of the confined urban setting here. For a 30-foot clearance, it is my front yard or nothing, and even that puts me out on the roadway. Out on the highway, I would have no problem finding a clearing or parking lot with plenty of working space.
I have not yet taken a sextant reading with the artificial horizon. That will happen soon.
Last Laugh
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