April 19, 2015

Yesteryear
One year ago today: April 19, 2014, on early retirement.
Five years ago today: April 19, 2010, shoulda married that one.
Six years ago today: April 19, 2009, I find $500.

MORNING
           At first I was about to breakfast alone, it was pushing 11:00AM and nobody showed up. This is unusual, as you have to be there before that time or the club does not buy. Here is a pretty lady that came in to find the buffet is not open on Sundays. That surprises a lot of people and it is not mentioned in their advertising. I invited her to join me and we got to chatting. She is a social worker from Switzerland.

           Top story of the day. She was returning from a visit to Columbia, a very popular Swiss holiday destination, I might add. She had three potatoes in her lunch bag. The wonderful American TSA confiscated them. It is comforting to know that the TSA is protecting us from potato bterrorism. In fact, they do such a wonderful job that I’m sure most of us are willing to overlook the fact that it was their brand of asinine bureaucratic interference that incurred the wrath of the Arabs in the first place. Sure, we won't mention that.
           Shown here, Agt. M is logging on the club laptop for the pretty lady to check her email. Hey, Agt. M, you don’t have to stand that close. Actually, she may have found both of us a little stuffy but she probably doesn’t know we are the last good guys that live in this town.
           Now, some might ask, if we are nice guys, how come the best we can do is invite a lady to watch us fix bicycles and weld band saw blades? Well, you just answered that question. Because the lady was perfectly aware that she was 100% free to make up her own mind about everything. And she stayed for lemonade. I’m never surprised to hear later when women say they have never met people like us in Florida. But enough of that, you want to hear about the lemonade.

NOON

           "Being popular is important. Otherwise people might not like you." –Mimi Pond. (She’s one of the top writers for “The Simpsons”.)

           Still at the clubhouse, Agt. M gets the great idea that we should have lemonade. That’s unanimous, until we discover he has no lemons, ice, water, sugar, or a large pitcher. Meanwhile, I go home and get my broken band saw blades and the new propane torch. Switching to the scooter, I go round up the ingredients for the drinks.

           Except, for reasons I cannot explain in this sweltering heat, it seems the entire town had exactly the same idea at the same time. There were no lemons left at the market. Undaunted, I walked over to El Presidente and read the Spanish labels until I found a jar of real lemon juice from Peru. It’s four times the cost, but at least you know it isn’t canned Monsanto.
           Here is the lemonade in process, another top story because I have never in my life before bought ice. You heard me. I've never bought ice before. Shown here is the big new pitcher of ice, just about ready to begin the mix. Not skimping on the lemon juice means not skimping on the sugar and the result was a perfect afternoon.
           Sitting in the shade, watching Agt. M work in the sunlight. Chatting with a good-looking lady. And drinking lemonade strong enough to make you blink twice. I can tell you want to hear about the band saw blades. That went surprisingly well. The idea is to get the teeth properly spaced after the weld. If you get it wrong, the follow-on tooth will break all the sooner. Shown here, you can see where the blades are welded. The annealing process, using the propane torch, lives a distinct kink in the blades.

           But you want to hear about the movie last night, “5 to 7”. Just let me say, if I met a babe like that, my rule book would be out the window. She was a model in the movie and looks it. The author meets her on the street, they strike up a relationship that leads, well, where relationships with married women always lead. Except she introduces him to her husband and children.
           All goes along fine until he decides things are not good enough. By the way, the advertising leads one to believe the older woman post-menopausal and the younger man is a gigilo. In fact, they are only 9 years apart (33 and 24), practically nothing to bother about. In the movie, they looked the same age. That’s less of a difference than me and my ex. By a large margin. As I’ve said, these foreign films tend to be well-made.
           What did I not like about the movie? Whoever wrote the script put a little too much of his own fantasies into it. I don’t like or respect such authors with the exception of those who are real experts in some field. In this one it was the old writer is a Jew with rich parents who want him to go to law school. That is so old I felt nauseous when the plot went that direction. I’m American. Even if such things are true, I don’t need to hear it one more time. Forcing this crap on others fosters sincere prejudice, not understanding. Are you listening, Miami Herald?

AFTERNOON
           Learn something every day. This is the club bicycle for the Swiss lady to ride to the beach, but alas, it turned out there was not enough time. However, the bicycle was an eye-opener that the club, between us, did not have a spare bicycle. This is crazy, we both know that without a bicycle in this neighborhood, you could find yourself in a bad way. Taxis and busses here don’t exactly provide a real alternative unless you know a week in advance when you’ll get a flat.

           This is not a “girl’s bike”. I found that out when purchasing my old electric. A girl’s bike, on its own, does not possess the structural rigidity needed for common use. Certainly not with an electric motor attached. If you look closely, there are two bars joining the body to the forks. Hence, this type of bicycle is called a “step-through”
           Meant for older riders, the design makes it not necessary to swing one’s foot up over the seat to get going. While I appreciated that feature, I never really step through unless I have a basket or bundle on the rear carrier that blocks the way. But I’m aware the day is approaching when I cannot jump on a bicycle any more. Hence, I also opt for saddlebag type carriers.
           Shown here, the Swiss lady is examining something she’s not seen before. Pedal brakes. I guess they don’t use them in Europe. She was surprised how well they worked, and that they could be slammed on. What I learned is the name of these “one-speed” or “regular” bicycles in Europe. They are known as “fixies”. There, I’m culturally enriched for the day. As for the lady, yes, I liked her. But I’m no common masher and she showed no interest in me. I do not "lead" conversations with ladies and the only thing I know about her is that she is left-handed.

EVENING
           Have I been calling the “Millenials” the “Milleniums”? Good, because if you spotted that as an error on my part, it just proves which one of us is addicted to television. I’m not shamed by this at all, the only way I could have learned it is from the waste of life called American television. So, be careful what you laugh at, it might be yourself.

           And how about that Chinese “military” base in the Spratlys? I know the area is disputed, but it has been mostly disputed by author’s of Clancy-grade fiction novels. Of course, the military mindset needs to create conflict and enemies, so no doubt at some point the US will stick its nose where it doesn’t belong. Did, uh, anyone, uh, hear, uh, the, uh,commentary, uh, by, uh, Dr. Andrew Erickson, uh, of the Naval, uh, War, uh, College?
           The Doctor of “Uh” states that it not the air base, which breaks no international law, but the way they are going about it. There’s your typical military mindset. I mean, how many ways are there to go about building a landing field in the middle of the South China Sea?
           Don’t ask Erickson, he only knows about “Uh” part, and that them Chinese are doing this in a very going about way.

Last Laugh