One year ago today: April 8, 2014, damn busy day.
Five years ago today: April 8, 2010, Jimmy Buffett and Yucatan.
Ten years ago today: April 8, 2005, job hunting.
MORNING
The plan for this evening is to attend an open mic. Watch for it, since I always get a lot more out of those things than the average attendee. It’s also a little later than usual, 9:00 PM, so that will draw out the locals. Music in south Florida is one strange business. You can’t do it full time because you won’t make enough money and you can’t work a day job or your music will never keep up.
Having said that, on the way to Home Depot I go past these two 30-somethings struggling to play some Jimmy Buffett. So I stopped and showed them the missing chord and the talk went to bass playing. The guy brings out an acoustic bass, I think the very one I decided against in Guitar Center a few months back. They (acoustic basses) are not loud enough for more than a small room. But for a porch, I grabbed it and ran through a few songs with them.
Alas, they neither know country music and would be too difficult teach. They were complete products of some guitar lesson studio. Every tune learned by the guitar parts only. But did their jaws hit the ground when I played their guitar-centric music. Of course, it sounded absolutely incredible, what with perfect timing and the bass notes doing all the orchestral fills and frills. Hell, I’ve only been doing that for forty years.
When asked why they bought such a bass, the standard reply is that some guitarist decided to give it a whirl, since all guitar players are born with the innate knowledge that "bass is easy". But when they try it, they get nowhere. They discover they had no idea whatsoever what they were up against and instead of admitting it, learn one or two ten-second "bass riffs" (always including "Down On The Corner") and set the instrument in the corner. The only thing that remains is the attitude.
I'll say it again. Guitarists make lousy bass players. And I can tell in an instant if a guitar player even tries. Their understanding of the instrument stops at how the strings are tuned. After that, even the frets are different. Put another way, guitar players on bass really, really, really, really suck.
Author’s note: For those who link back to the earlier posts, keep in mind that gaps occur. The generally longer posts you see’ll see sometimes are transcribed from hand-written originals. Writing is slower and the material may thus seem more scattered. There may have been any number of things going on at the same time. And while there are no breaks in those hand-written pages, not all of pages have been key-entered to this blog. What is posted is subject to editing.
NOON
“She was in perfect condition except for one thing—she was dead”. –Quincy
You’ve waited long enough. What is this mystery object from the past? First, allow me to say there are strong economic reasons why so many of these touted “small businesses” of America are owned by old men. I didn’t say I know those reasons, but my speculation is that it requires a longer term outlook than the patience quota that young men possess. When I was thirty, I needed a profit now, now, now, from every dollar invested.
Things have evolved since last time I looked. That was the era when Dave-O said he could build this, but that turned out to be only one of the areas he vastly over-represented his abilities. This time, I have a robot club and enough knowledge to proceed. But should I? Remember, the robot club is a loose association with members who are divergent in outlook.
A good example is how Agt. M goes though steel hammers by the score pounding pieces into shape, where over at my place, striking any metal except nail heads with a hammer is forbidden. I drill pilot holes, the other guy will make the bolt fit—even stripped the threads, saying the nut will re-cut the grooves.
Also, because the welding part is obvious fun, I let others do it. Hence, months later, I still cannot weld. But I’ve gotten damn good at planning and cutting the smaller metal pieces. So they fit first time without the requirement of a battering ram. And we have quite recently learned that bed frame metal is more than sufficient a building material. No promises, but I am again looking.
One curious facet to such a business is the difference in approach. Agt. M is prone to go to city hall and get a license, while I’m more the type that would build it first and wait until city hall said something. Then argue that it is just a bicycle. And if there was a fine, more likely to see if it is cheaper to continually pay the fine than go legit. And when they finally raise the fines, sell the business.
You know why I am that way? Experience. That’s why. You cannot win any game when the other people get to make up the rules as you go along. And, no matter how many times you succeed in getting it, you’ll go nowhere in life asking permission.
PS: please laugh at today's noon quote. It took me a dozen tries to unscramble the Morse. The sender was one of those old-school ex-military types where nothing is good enough, he thinks he can improve everything but lacks the brains. Thus, he kept running the vowels into the previous consonant, leaving out the pause. It took half the tries to figure out "Quincy". Real men don't watch TV, so Quincy is no household word around my place.
AFTERNOON
Does this look like a chess piece? It isn’t. Standing three inches tall, this is a template for the axle holders (how’s that for a technical term?) for my wooden gears. This is drawn on my old XP paint program, back when all the commands were easy to find. Remember those years? It seems to me I’ve seen this shape before, if anyone can help me out on that. I mean, in relation to a motor part. In my design, this template is pasted onto a 1x4” and cut out in pairs.
I tried and failed. I just cannot sit down and listen to “Freebird” all the way through. I get distracted by anything. There are a couple neat passages later that get my attention. But I just cannot listen through that brand of droning unexceptional chuck—while at the same time fully understanding how it appeals to the unsophisticated majority. To me, Lynyrd Skynyrd is one song, “The Breeze”. That is it.
And because I can already hear the peanut gallery, the bass line to that tune is incredible and I can play the shit out of it. You can’t. There is a trick to it. I know the trick, and you don’t. If you think you know the trick, now explain why that song can only be played properly on the bass in the key of E. How can you tell I’ve been reading Craigslist. My mood? My temperature? My choice of words? All of the above?
Did you read about the police reaction to the gang stealing sandalwood in India? Shot twenty of them stone cold dead. As usual, the Yankee media portrays the woodcutters as victims, when in fact a hundred of them brandishing sharp tools had cornered and surrounded nine policemen. So the ticket is to get yourself surrounded first.
As for the issue that “The Breeze” was by J.J. Cale, I like Skynyrd’s album covers better. I honestly would never have known the man if I passed him on the street. I’ve never owned a Skynyrd album. I like a few of his other songs, but never learned them. I think the bass player in “The Breeze” is not the same guy as played the rest of his songs.
EVENING
I was 18 again for an hour, hero of the musical moment. At open mic, I was (as usual) the only bassist. That means I was surrounded by studio-trained “folk” guitarists and their pre-fabricated notions about “coffeehouse music”. It was a simple matter to steal the show. Lest anyone say that is because I was more experienced, that kind of thinking is a foolish cop-out. I don’t play any of the same songs as when I was 18. It was the guitar players tonight who tried that. And what I just said is so hard to follow. Ha, that might be the reason the others can’t do so.
You see, too many musicians think if you can wow the crowd, things become a simple matter of doing it all over again next time. And then blame the crowd when it doesn’t happen. Now, I’ll tell what is really going on. Two things are important and they are moving targets. You have to hit both or you will not match the room’s expectations. One, has the crowd seen your act before? Two, is the crowd appreciably older than when you last played for them?
These factors are not as closely related as appears at a single glance. It means what I have to do to impress the listener is quite different than the musician half my age. I learned long ago not to stick to the same song list as when I was young, but not to try and play cutting edge new music either. That’s why you’ll find me playing hand-picked classics. I just got that, “hand-picked”. Ha, ha. I meant “selective”.
Even then, things tonight did not go entirely my own way. I was there looking for a guitar player, and did not take my bass. I played on a borrowed six-string and forgot many of my own lyrics. Also, I prefer to lead the audience into country music, but instead had to open with some of my best material.
It brought down the house. Understand, most shows work best in front of a new audience and my act is no different. Worse for me, I cannot sustain that novelty and that is why I must consider a duo. Since my presentation spells out no guitarist needed, it doesn’t leave a lot of scope for the next guy, that is, if you think augmented 9th jazz chords can compete, you probably don’t want to get on stage immediately after my show.
Particularly if, like tonight, the owners are in and saw the whole thing. (A reminder to the reader that the odds are nothing will come of this. Then again, I found Jimbos, did I not?)
ADDENDUM
Don’t get up early and read Craigslist. That is one depressing activity. It reminds you that the majority of humanity are uneducated screw-ups who dig themselves a hole and crawl in it. But there was an interesting forum on multi-banding. This is the person who plays in several bands and why most bands don’t like it. I’m with the bands on that one.
In fact, from the postings, it is clear that the only people who think multi-banding (band-hopping, band-jumping, etc.) is okay appears to be the guitar players and drummers who do it. Myself, I don’t care for the practice. Very few people are talented enough to do a good job of playing in one band. Because playing in a band is a complicated affair. Bands are proof no man can serve two masters.
My conclusion is don’t multi-band. This is a different matter than standing in. It is easy for a drummer and guitarist to stand in. The drummer can back-beat the entire gig, but the guitar player, that is a curious one. Unless all the bands play the same music in the same key. This could be the basis of my long-standing grievance that all Broward bands play the same 22 songs.
Multi-banding is not to be confused with what the Hippie did, which is to over-invite people with whom he practiced duo music to the same gig. Or to network seeking to form a band. This activities are distinct from actively playing in more than one band at once. I say, pick one band, stick with it.
Before I leave the topic, it is my personal opinion that it is only 5 or 6 local guitarists who are doing all the multi-banding in this town. I have met them. They are not anywhere near as good as they think they are. They do, indeed, play the same songs. Incessantly. Other than that universal song list, they are a diverse lot with one and only one common trait: they are unbelievable, unmitigated assholes.
Last Laugh
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