One year ago today: June 2, 2014, on patent medicines.
Five years ago today: June 2, 2010, the “Old Maid Effect”.
Six years ago today: June 2, 2009, shoe mystery.
MORNING
This is what cleaning up a computer looks like. This is the Sony that proved too large to fit into a knapsack (way to go, Sony). I reconfiguring it back to XP standards so it will be of some use. But it formerly belonged to a so-called “power user”, so all the damage needs to be undone. Other words for power user are “gamer”, or “time-waster”. Shown here, good old Nero disk burning software is being installed.
This Sony had all the gimp features enabled. So a typo can evaporate your entire document. And don’t we just envy the guys who are so kewl they change the cursor to some weird-ass shape like an oak leaf. Wow, so original.
What? You want to know what gimp features are? Those are the hidden keystroke “short-cuts” placed all over your keyboard by Bill Gates. So you can be constantly reminded how much he cares for the handicapped and too hell with you. They cannot be de-activated. So to hell with you twice. Gimp features, loved by the sort who clap when the airplane lands. I had to use that line again, it is so appropriate for Millennials and their ilk.
I'm going to have to cut you short, I'm firing up the batbike for a trip to Miami. And I can't be late on this one.
NOON
“Never discuss money with people who have much more or less than you do.” --Farm wisdom
The big famous meeting of 2015 went as might have been predicted—I am on my own. Everybody touts buying low but doesn’t mention you still need ready money to do it. May I have the proverbial show of hands how many people in the room have any ready money? That’s what I thought. And I am on my own.
All that does not detract from the escapade down to the Redlands. The meeting took place at Burger King (because of their great coffee). We drove past the old estate and around Cutler Ridge when somebody, likely myself, comes up with this brilliant idea that we should visit the “Last Chance Saloon”. This is the pub on the verge of the Florida Keys. Just past it the highway forks and you are on the causeways. Beware of imitations, everything in the area is called “Last Chance”.
It’s self-described “near biker bar” which is accurate. Central drinking pit surrounded by pool tables, pull tabs, and a 1960s grade shuffleboard around 30 feet long. We stopped there only to say we had finally stopped there. It wasn’t really worth it, a dive with a back wall plastered with history. Bar history. Back to the meeting.
JZ, not having any Internet capability, has never seen any of the places I’ve looked at near Orlando. I sketched out the most likely one, cottage and cabin site. Of more concern to us is the limits to what amount of repair work we are prepared to take on. JZ is convinced there is something wrong with every property in our price range, I’m more concerned about whether the price is similar to what else is in the vicinity.
It boils down to cash money. Who has it and who doesn’t. Since this whole adventure is still hypothetical, it’s actually kind of neat to get right down to the financial nitty gritty. Caught in traffic on the return leg, we eventually wound up stopping at two more pubs to wait out rush hour. Florida loves to build a thousand condos right next to a two lane roadway. That’s 80.000 people in a community originally designed for 8,000.
No way JZ will be ready to take another trip this weekend. My budget may not allow me to go on my own right away. Guys, for me it is maximum one trip per month. It’s not impossible [I could go alone], but if I had an extra $300 it would be touch and go whether I’d make the trip or rebuild the iPod. The cost is the same either way.
The big principle that came out of today’s meeting is that if this is our situation, others must be in terrible shape. How can people with no cash still survive? I see it all the time, people buying a loaf of bread or a package of gum with a credit card.
NIGHT
A rainstorm forced me off the road near the old club. I stopped in to wait it out and the place is just as grubby and forlorn as remembered. By happenstance, it was only the women regulars. This may have been awkward for a few of them because I well remember when I first came in the place and they all assumed I was just another yokel. I may be a lot of things, but I’m no yokel. These are women used to being lambasted by lies from every man they ever met.
They seem at a loss unless the man does make a move. I can see it; they’ve been here for years and know that is how it is done. When you don’t move in for the kill, they seem at a loss. It’s all friendly enough but the shoe is on the other foot. I never take second choice, I’ve asked out only three women in my life and have never asked any woman twice for anything. Anything important, I mean.
JZ and I also spent an hour trying to purchase a hatchet. Instead, all we found were small, or “hand axes”. With wooden handles. No, gang, they are not the same thing. A hatchet is solid metal, with a leather sheath that covers the ax head and has a belt loop. The three places we stopped had nothing even close. The minute you want something specific, you can forget South Florida.
Now that Target store in Kendall—that place is a fashion show.
Last Laugh
This one you gotta figure out yourself.
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