November 5, 2015

Yesteryear
One year ago today: November 5, 2014, Google blackmail.
Five years ago today: November 5, 2010, library blackmail.
Six years ago today: November 5, 2009, seig heil, DMV.
Nine years ago today: November 5, 2006, a nothing day?

MORNING
           Can you see the gator? It’s snout is a tiny grey dot exactly at the center of the photo. It is floating just by the far shore. To the right are two progressively larger humps, the head and the abdomen. This twelve or fourteen footer is the largest we’ve ever seen. That’s maybe because we don’t go to Naples as often as we used to. Here’s a blow-up of JZ’s hand and the gator for a better look.

           We got out of town early, since I took the batbike out before dark and saw a great sunrise on the way. We headed west on Tamiami Trail, a two lane through the Cypress Swamp area. The maps show four or five small towns, they lie. There is nothing out there but the odd coffee shop, Indian store, or airboat company going bankrupt.

           I talked JZ into taking a side road, only to find out he hates gravel roads. Or at least when driving his truck instead of my Cadillac. The last time we went through the back roads was in my Cadillac. This is a short stretch that heads nine miles up to Wagonwheel Road. By government decree, the people living in that park are allowed to remain until they sell or die. It’s a wilderness.
           Taking more side roads we wound up stopping for coffee in Golden Gate, which is next to a Goodwill store. I got my reading material for the month and a brand new Shure 606 microphone. Two silk ties, and a few knickknacks. JZ got nothing. We found a “swamp education center” on one road, to be informed it is for Collier County schoolchildren only. No signage saying it was not open to the public, I wonder how many people wasted time over that?
           Once more than a few miles off the pavement, we began to see many of the supposedly rare blue herons. I’d forgotten my paperbacks to identify most other birds. I think the blue herons are just shy, we approached several that took off just as I tried to snap a photo. Other new sitghtings were black duck-like birds with orange feet, a type of inland savannah, a canal with crystal clear water, and hawks with pinkish feathers under the wings hunting in pairs. All new to me.

           While you are here, this is a link that was first featured in this blog a year ago, before Mr. Trump came along, politically speaking. Same link as yesteryear 2014 above. Enjoy.

NOON
           It was over ten years since I was downtown in Naples, although I’ve played in a couple bars near there and we drove past the downtown last year. It has changed, all the little shops have been squeezed out by high end jewelry stores, expensive dining, and real estate offices. The best we could do is stop of a root beer and watch these groups of women on guided tours. Sorry, no photos, but JZ and I agree that is more good-looking women in one troop than you see in Miami all year long.

           Here’s JZ hamming in front of a sculpture, I think it is bronze. Downtown shopping is for big-bucks people only. I was game but JZ refused to spend that kind of bucks. Naples has succumbed to the parking zero-sum game. You let these parking meter companies come in and promise the world, but it chases away customers and the downtown businesses suffer.
           And the entire waterfront is now a tow zone, the minimum meter payment is $2.50 in quarters only. With more signs admonishing not to ask local shops for change. Since neither of us is in the habit of carrying several rolls of quarters around, we left that area and spend $75 elsewhere in town. Way to go, Naples, too dumb to understand there is no net gain with parking meters. Nobody wins except the parking meter company. Total spent on this trip, $77.00, of which $48.00 was gas and food.
           One of the books I found for $1.99 was a history of scroll saws, including descriptions of wood that is just no longer available. It concerns a German guy who invented the modern type of saw and really goes into detail. That will keep me busy, since it is really the first real book I’ve seen on the topic.

. . . oops, there is a sentence fragment missing here . . .

. . . dark and made a point to stop at the same beach we found with the GPS, again, [but we got] chased away by parking meters. Then we walked around downtown in the heat, ogling discretely. So many good-looking white women, you just don’t get that in SE Florida. We got a few looks back but I don’t do housewives and JZ never makes a move unless I do first. So we were well-behaved.

           And don’t say I’m picking on old ladies. I cannot stand 99% of men my own age either. They are old fossils, stuck in the 70s, and are at best a group of tiresome old shitheads. All they talk about is their former glory and the war. Ask ‘em what they do these days and get a blank stare. Most men my age are indeed, pretty useless. But it also means there is actually very little competition, that is, the competition just kind of sits there and farts a lot. Too bad there aren't really any good women in the age group to compete for, nonsayn?
           We drove through billionaire row. JZ was once more treated to my exasperating sighs, gee, what is it like to grow up in a house with a room of your own? Where it is quiet inside and the neighbors all mind their own business? As I continue in this vein, it is not long before JZ begins to sigh. But down to this day, one of the few things I value in life is the right to a quiet place to live. Where you don’t have to play if you don’t want to. Naturally, we were talking real estate most of the time we were not talking women.
           Here’s JZ examining an abandoned property. All these Everglades shacks revert to government ownership. These are not fancy, but nor are they rustic trapper’s shacks. Each has a water pond and work barn. Over time, these will revert to jungle. But the term “abandoned” got into my search criteria last week when I found there were some bargains on the list. Now JZ is convinced such a place is the way to go.

NIGHT
           Who remembers the “Tin Roof”. I can’t remember if it was JZ or Wallace last time, but we stopped there for good measure. And spent all the money lost to the beachfront over those damn parking meters. We drank some Yeunglings, chatted up women half our age, and called Alaine with a report on our adventures. JZ finally admitted, on looking around, there were plenty of women our age but every last one was fat and grandmotherly. He usually pretends that is not the case.

           Here is some very ungrandfatherly tourist posing for a cameraman that has never yet been able to take a decent photo. I mean, what is so terribly difficult about pointing a camera and pushing the button? This the best of six pictures, I always make him take six because I know none of them will turn out right except by accident.
           My plan is not to live actually in a city, but just outside the city limits. A five minute drive to the nearest shopping plaza and gas pumps. Naples is not looking good that way. Seacoast town get a double whammy, everybody wants to live near the shore and the Interstate draws business to a narrow corridor. So like the Miami area, there is no real downtown, but a series of small towns that got gobbled by urban sprawl all up the shoreline and now edging inland for the latecomers.
           Back in town, we stopped for a bite to eat at a sports bar near his place. City prices are getting drastic, JZ well remembers the prices in Deland a few months ago. We also know that chicken wings should not be $2.00 each and a bottle of Budweiser not $5.75. (Plus the tax, added separately, and printed on a tag that suggests tips at various percentages up to 25%. Fat chance.) The place was okay, but I’m never going back there.

           This day trip was a planning session. We’ve had to reshuffle the deck a few times already, and the only constant is that I will not consent to any deal that places the slightest reliance on anyone but myself. This time my retirement future is at stake and I will not gamble with that. This shuts other people out of the deal, I understand that. But as an example of what I mean, if I buy a rent-to-own, I will only commit what I have. If JZ kicks in any, we’ll pay it off quicker, but I will not commit to that situation. Rather it is something I’ll bear in mind when I do the numbers. And that was the real purpose of the trip today.


Last Laugh

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