One year ago today: March 14, 2015, National Geographic lies.
Five years ago today: March 14, 2011, one of those e-bikes.
Nine years ago today: March 14, 2007, a bowling alley.
Random years ago today: March 14, 1997, Sedro Wooley.
MORNING
First thing, let me reiterate than the biggest disappointment of my childhood dreams is NASA. They are the worst let-down bunch of feather-bedding cronies this country has seen. It has been 44 years today since the last man walked on the moon. That was Eugene Cernan, shown here, in 1972. I think, I may have some small details wrong, but I’m not wrong about the sheer contempt I have for NASA doing what they did to the space program just to protect their jobs.
Up and into vacation mode in Plant City, Florida. Hello from Collins Avenue, where I woke up to breakfast at the Dunkin Donuts. This is not the same as the coffee counters in the Miami area, these are excellent little restaurants. And, being that the area is not as assimilated as the south, the atmosphere is pleasant and quiet. The staff even knew where the local library was and had the alacrity to give accurate directions.
However, I got there to find the place choked with voter registration people and hour before opening. That’s when I noticed I had a burned out headlight. I promptly headed back to Collins to the AutoZone I’d passed to discover their tools cost $13 each. So, it was back to Walmart to get a small kit of tools for the same price. Pliers, channel locks, 8” crescent, and a small vice grips. The headlamp is an easy replace, a standard automotive Sylvania. Then back to the library.
Now, if you think I’m about to relate the wonderful adventures of my motorcycle travels, wrong. I got on the library computer to notice a certain property on the market. I looked again, because four sources had told me this building was sold. Was it now? Three agents by phone, one by e-mail, and the top Internet site said this was gone a week ago—but my loyal fans will know how I rather often do check back on these done deals to see if they went through.
Aha, my mini-vacation is instantly cut short. Through the miracle of the Internet, for once being used as it was intended, I was able to discover within the hour that the entire string of bidders ahead of me failed to come up with the money. Of course, I was on it in a flash, don’t you remember we talked years ago about the possibility of this happening become greater over time.
I cleared out of that library and plowed the sidecar down the now well-known side roads through Mulberry and Bartow and pulled up in front of the building by 9:57 AM. Not a moment too soon, as it turns out. It had come back on the market just 57 minutes earlier.
$1,000 a pound (saffron).
NOON
"Be brave. Even if you are not, pretend to be. Nobody can tell the difference." - RHP
It isn’t mine yet, but there is more good news. As I arrived, there were a series of people with “appointments” to view the property. So I quickly garnered permission to tour the place myself. It’s a fixer-upper alright, but that is confined to paint, a new electrical panel, and some water damage on one of the floors in the far back. And one look at the rest of the “buyers” was enough. Listen to me, it was obvious I was the only person in that crowd who had any money.
I was the mystery man, who did not talk money with the real estate agent and who seemed to know every important detail about the property without looking. It has been vacant about a year, an older structure. It’s easily going to last another 30 years, which is longer than I’m going to be here.
Shown nearby is the distorted “iCool” style photo of the Florida room, slash maid’s quarters. I know it seems strange to have exterior windows of a house looking into a Florida room, but otherwise, there would just be a view of the neighbor’s garage wall. What is easy to perceive is the (generally) larger dimensions of these older designs, including the higher ceilings. It was equally evident I was the only man on site that wasn’t trying to scramble together a loan from Uncle Joe, type of thing.
This pre-empts everything, vacation-wise. The expensive necessary is the electrical, as with many older places it was located outside and the breakers have been vandalized. It does not matter immediately, because if my offer is accepted, it is a cash deal henceforth no sense of urgency to either fix or occupy the place in a hurry. Nor is there any intention to flip it, I’m saying time is not of the essence.
What I did get was everything in writing. Right down to the lead paint disclosure and my recognition that the seller need not accept the highest offer. (But how likely is that? If I get it for that lousy extra dollar, we will be dancing in the streets that night.)
EVENING
Since this forestalled any vacation, I drove directly into Bartow to the familiar territory of the Steel Magnolia (coffee shop). I visited with the lady owner and her kids, grabbed a $10 sandwich, and left town at 4:30, hold on, it was daylight savings y’day, so I mean 5:30. The sun was low in the sky when a opened the throttles and headed toward Hollywood.
I was racing the sunset, and got all the way to Clewiston before pitch black. Since I know that road so well, I decided to press onward, making it into Hollywood before 10:00 PM. But my clutch cable was acting up, so I took a chance and drove the last five miles in first gear, timing my speed to hit the green lights.
Avoid the intersection gas stations at the Zolfo Springs exit north of Lake Placid. The gas prices are a dollar a gallon more than everywhere else. And I did get gas for as little as $1.79 per gallon on this trip. A complete tank-up for $9.97. Now, I’m going to recap what I brought home with me, since I decided this would be the best place to be standing if the seller accepts my offer.
I own nothing yet, only the offer I put it. But I am going to recount my advantages so it that my thinking is very distinct on this whole house-buying thing. It did not spring itself upon me this morning, this has been years in the making. What I have is signed documents that I am ready to proceed, and those documents are from a seller who was just let down by the 11 people in line ahead of me.
This is important, since the seller has just been through a recital of losers. I waited until just moments before the deadline to put in my bid, whence the real estate lady inadvertently acted like “you got it”. That stalled everyone else, who had no inkling I was about to galvanize into action at the last minute. So where do I stand?
a) I got the last bid in before the deadline, nobody can outbid me now.
b) the other people present were lookie-luu types, they waited too long.
c) the seller is disappointed and knows that I have the cash money in full.
In fact, I have 121% of the money in full. Now we wait.
Last Laugh
Return Home
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