One year ago today: March 30, 2015, their plastic jar of nickels.
Five years ago today: March 30, 2011, a you-know who won’t you-know.
Nine years ago today: March 30, 2007, now that’s a kickstand.
Random years ago today: March 30, 2013, concerning opportunity costs.
MORNING
Here is part of a convoy of sugar cane harvesters on the move at dawn. You have to see the scale of these things to realize what a big operation sugar is in the Okeechobee area. This entire multi-billion dollar operation is privately owned and keeps itself off the media with an amazing degree of success. This scene is rough 66 miles northwest of Fort Lauderdale, FL.
And Trump surges on to victory after victory. The establishment created him and how they can’t control him. The tactics they use are the same politically correct blasphemy that would have worked on every insider candidate, now their only [remaining] hope is to use their brains, something they cannot even dream of accomplishing. There are few things more stupid than an educated politician. ("If you're stupid and you know it, clap your hands.") Maybe Trump is an idiot, but compared to the jerk-faces who are against him, he is pure business savvy. It’s an America about to vote for the lesser of many evils and it will be a tsunami for Trump. About to kick establishment ass, big time, Trump is going to trump the entire political arena.
Trump needed only kick in the front door and the whole rotten structure came tumbling down.
And the road system isn’t that much better. JZ was two hours late getting here and we were not in South Bay until 10:30AM. This time, we took the scenic route through La Belle and into Alva. That’s where that low-lying canal property is located (see y'day's evening segment). I’d called the real estate office to get the price, but got a recording. Sorry, I don’t do call-backs. Answer your phone or you lose.
There was a nosy neighbor to the south, very political, Scottish accent. We pumped him for information, which JZ is not very good at doing at all. He’s easy to get off on a tangent, like I’m trying to find out what the asking price is, while JZ is suddenly fixated on whether or not he can burn trash in the back yard. In the 15 years I’ve known the guy, there has been no discussion of burning trash, but now it was a fantastic obsession.
Now, this is the place I figured might be worth $8,000 at most. It is an old fishing shack, tarpapered over and rickety to boot. So, when the neighbor said the guy wanted $67,000 I was ready to leave. Between a major discussion on burning trash, I was able to pick out the reason for that astronomical price tag was this was the “only rural property left in the area”. Nonsense, the entire countryside over there is rural. I was later able to determine the property was bought two years ago for $34,000 and the seller, a real estate agent, was trying to double his money.
Seattle, WA
NOON
Before long, we were inside the cottage near the Peace River. It’s in rough shape and needs a lot of work, but it is also plenty of space. The floor is uneven and the roof is sagging, but both sets of timber are in good, dry condition and repairable for anybody not too lazy to tackle the job. Best of all, it is livable immediately, which is a major plus for me at this stage. That’s a shot of JZ walking around the perimeter, he is not that impressed by the place. He keeps thinking I should buy a house, not a cottage, but remains a little vague about where I’m supposed to get that kind of money. (He still works for a living while I retired in 2005. Same age. But then, he likes fat girls and I don’t.)
Thus, I put in the offer, and once again have all the documents signed and ready to go. The agent says they normally give a reply within 24 hours. And they have a preference for somebody to live in the building rather than commercial buyers who intend to flip it. Since it will take all my income for the next year to fix the place up, I had no problem signing an affidavit that I’d be living there myself. I wouldn’t have much choice.
Then, we went for lunch at the same place I was Monday morning. And there was a new waitress, what a total knockout babe. I had to shackle JZ to his chair. I mean, this lady had legs that just did not quit. We then returned to the property when the agent was back at the office. I stopped a local gal passing by and got the real story of the premises. It was not a [marijuana] grow operation as I had suspected. Are you ready for this?
Some old guy had two daughters and an adopted son. There was a good daughter and a bad daughter. When the old guy died, he passed the property on to the good daughter along with the remaining mortgage payments. Not being able to afford the place, the good daughter rented it to the adopted son for the mortgage payments. So he moved in and had seven kids. Unfortunately, the money he was paying to the good daughter, well, she wasn’t so good. She was pocketing it instead of making the mortgage payments. So 41 days ago, the bank repossessed the house. (And that was the good daughter, the bad daughter is in prison.)
Only to find out the adopted son had done a lot of fairly Mickey Mouse renovations to the place, one of which led to a leak in the roof. That’s the soffit and sagging ridge line I had spotted, and inside it was also causing the ceiling to fall down in the kitchen. So it has been patched over, but I would still tear it down and replace the entire ceiling. After an hour of discussion, we decided that although the place needs work, it is inhabitable and all the repairs are items we can handle ourselves, including the needed fumigation. (JZ’s brother has one of those bug smoker gun things.)
The fact we were looking garnered us a lot of attention from the street. That includes a blonde lady who rode her bicycle past twice, saying, ”Welcome, neighbors.” This fascinates JZ. But I want information. The neighbors to the south arrived recently from the Keys, getting out of South Florida for the same reason myself and most good people are. Across the street is a lady bank president. On the north, a mother and daughter who (I think) own a major antique business. And west, across the alley, the place has a huge backyard swimming pool.
The building is situated on two already rather large lots, and part of that land is a completely fenced off private area to the rear north of the house. You could run a used car lot in there and have room to spare. For that matter, the antique lady asked if we were planning on using that space. I said I’d have to think about that. Whether or not I get this place, you can see how I’m getting closer every time. This trip, with two of us going directly there and back in one day means we only stopped twice for fuel and food, plus a couple of beers, means this trip cost a mere $59. It’s just 2-1/2 hours by cruise control and opens up the entire area, a welcome change to the rat-race of Miami.
NIGHT
We stopped for late chow and headed back via the high speed route through Moore Haven, Clewiston, and arrived back here twelve hours after we left. If I get the place, it is the last major hurdle of my retirement. A place I own that cannot be taken away as long as I pay or attempt to pay the annual taxes. And they are a fraction of the $6,400 per year I’m wasting here in rent. JZ has a very difficult time with this concept, that I don’t want to buy a fancier place for the same money and pay the lower rent in that area. He seems unaware that rents never stay low. Mind has doubled in the past five years without severe inflation. If it doubles again, I can’t afford it.
The only areas of contention are that we disagree over fixing a few of the uneven areas of the flooring, and he has some outlandish theory that the power company will refuse to connect the electric. Like the trash-burning just hours before, this comes right out of the blue. The fact is, the entire electric panel had been replaced to the demarcation point. This is the place that legally limits the liability of the supplier, so they have no beef connecting to that point. You’d think a construction-savvy dude like JZ would know that.
I was all for staying up there a couple of days, but instead, we dropped into the Longhorn for a beer, then high-tailed it back here. Since I have the cash, if my offer is accepted, I could be up there for extended periods within the upcoming few days. I resented having to declare such things as my marital status and certain other personal details, but was able to get away by giving innocuous answers. This would be an interesting culmination to ten months of house-hunting, but let me clarify a few things.
First, this was not my first choice. It is not mine yet. The idea is the compromise of having a cheap place now, so that it becomes possible to pounce on better deals in the near future. Prices will not stay the same once Trump is in, so if they plunge, I’ve still got a place that did not break the bank. Except for the roof line, I can do all the repairs myself. And the place is on a quiet crescent in a nice part of town. I will be very disappointed if I don’t get this one, but face it, I’ve been getting closer every time.
And the price is a lot less than was paid for Wally’s Folly.
ADDENDUM
So it is on record, I had one heck of a time getting any answers out of the real estate people on this property. I finally bought it from the fourth contact, because she had limited knowledge of the building. The first three seemed to very conveniently not know if anything was wrong or needed repair, yes, I know, then why in hell are they trying to sell the place. Also, I was led to believe that getting an inspection was contingent on showing proof of funds, which I ‘ve now learned is so untrue as to be nearly illegal. While the other did not say specifically I needed proof to inspect, they worded it so I believed the events had to happen nearly simultaneously. False, if a bank is the seller, they are obligated to show.
And don’t finger-wag either. The people around on this deal, many of whom were born in Florida, didn’t know about this either. For now, the offer is in, I’ve got my detective novel, and I’m sleeping in the comfy chair tonight. Um, if this deal goes through, I’m going to have only $565 to last me until the first week of May. Mind you, things will rapidly pick up after that. Very rapidly.
During the proof of funds chase-around, I find out that the reason they were so resistant to my cashier’s checks is fraud. Apparently in Sarasota last year, somebody had gotten hold of some real but blank cashier’s checks and ruined things for everybody. I got around this detail by making the check out to myself instead of the seller. And since I know my own check is good, I had no trouble “accepting” the funds, thus proving I had it. From the reaction of this wheeling and dealing, I once more got the impression I’m the only one left standing with any cash.
This is not as advantageous as it sounds, since whoever is snapping up all the property to the north has a seemingly unlimited supply of credit. But they are also not ones to buy anything they have to work on. Only property they can flip. I’d probably do the same if I had the means. For now, this place needs a lot of work, but I’m not afraid of a lot of work. My plan always was to live in the back and fix up one room at a time.
Keep checking back for details. This is still a maybe, but the closest maybe in the ten months since I started viewing places. This would be a good time to recap for the reader that although this blog is fictitious, it is Michener-style, that is, based on actual events. It would be foolish to apply anything here to actual persons or places. The fact-based part means very few things ever work out as planned. Such is with any property that I finally buy.
This property is not a house, it is a summer cottage. It is 52 miles away from the nearest point I really wanted. But it is livable and in a nice area, walking distance from everything, and although it needs major work, that said work will handily triple the value of the place. It has been neglected for about 15 years. You’ll learn to love this place, considering I may get it for half-price. Soon I may be be concerned with finding out who the bad neighbor is. Every place has at least one. A good security system is a priority as the place will have a certain percentage of vacant time.
Last Laugh
This one dedicated to TV watchers everywhere.
Return Home
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
