One year ago today: January 3, 2016, it costs money to obey.
Five years ago today: January 3, 2012, first, the money, then Mr. Nice guy.
Nine years ago today: January 3, 2008, there it was—gone!
Random years ago today: January 3, 1980, few men typed back then.
MORNING
Hi, it’s me, Mr. Happy Homeowner. And this morning I began taking the measurements for reversing the bathroom door. It’s left-handed and swings open against the counter. I’d prefer it to swing against the bathtub, which makes more sense since the door is normally closed when anyone’s in the tub. In this process, I traced the light switch, which would need relocating. Wow, that is going to be a job, the way they ran that in from under the floor. I may just bypass it. The door, however, is a classic, so I’m saving that. See addendum.
Maybe a little extra fun is on the Vee. I squawked at Wal*Mart for not selling individual SD micro cards. Actually they do, but I mean it is like men’s size 8 socks, they are always out or you have to buy the big package. I bought a micro, thinking it was, you know, the small card and the bigger would just be the adapter. Nope, it was a full size and now I have another useless card I’ll never use. But today, they had the micros, so I have the stealth camera back in operation.
First picture show will be the cardinals, maybe tomorrow. These are videos, not stills. So I can’t really show you the good stuff. The camera looks like an old transistor radio. The gospel radio has been grinding every evil rumor it can out of the incoming government. That, and the usual market reporting. It reports marijuana sales are “smokin’”, the fastest growth industry “since the dot-com era”. Ha, that’s just the tip, get it, just the tip? And I’m all for it, the more potheads in this country, the better my chances.
That reminds me of a quote from Einstein. “For every one billion particles of antimatter, there are a billion and one particles of matter. And when the mutual annihilation (the Big Bang) was completed, one billionth remained—and that is our present universe.”
Even I tend to forget I have a background in physics, because I never used it directly. It supplied the mental discipline needed to get my computer degrees, but not much more. I’m not as bad as some, I mean I know people who think anti-matter is science fiction. No, folks, it’s real and it’s been produced in the lab. Way back when they started smashing atoms, the scientists knew there were things smaller and less defined than electrons. That’s where you get quarks with charms and colors. Scientists called them that for lack of better terms. Hey, they are egghead scientists, not poets.
What? You liked that quote? It’s from a library book I read the other day. You want another? Okay, any creationists out there? The type who don’t believe in evolution? Read this:
Creationists like to dismiss evolution as “only a theory”, as if that gives their alternative scientific parity. This reflects their overwhelming misunderstanding of science, which does not use the term “theory” in its common sense of a hunch. Rather, it means a hypothesis that is confirmed by all available data. Evolution more than meets this definition—it is supported by evidence from genetics, paleontology, anatomy, zoology, botany, geology, embryology, and many other fields. If the theory were wrong, almost everything we know about biology would have to be reassessed. It is like the theory of gravity—not an idea we can take or leave, but the best explanation currently available for an observed set of facts.
Miss France, plus size.
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NOON
The library was jam packed, so I didn’t get the bottle jack ordered today, either. The resume dorks were there in force. They don’t want to learn to do it themselves, they don’t want to read any of the dozens of books on how, they want the library staff to do it for them. I loathe that bunch. Especially that skinny lady that looks like the cartoon grandmother from “Family Circus”. She never learns a damn thing, I’ve seen here in there twenty times getting the staff to change a word or date for her. Dagnabbit lady, quit milking the library people. If you are too dumb or lazy to learn it yourself, go pay somebody downtown.
We’ve also allocated time and money to check out Granger & Napa after Agt. R admitted to get this jack happening, he’s gone down to Tractor Supply and bought things he didn’t really need. That is completely unacceptable. Tractor Supply, just who in the hell do you think you are? As it was put at the end, “No wonder Harbor Freight is kicking your asses.”
“I Love You This Big.”
NIGHT
I forgot it was Karaoke night. It makes a difference because my rule is to not really do anything not rehearsed. The joint was empty, so I did an unfamiliar version of “That’s How I Got to Memphis”. By Bobby Dare(?), the one who I forgot likes to change keys in the middle of the song. Whoops. Well, that’s why I used the night for practice. The fat broads weren’t there, but I left plenty early so who knows? There were a few new faces, or at least new to me, which pretty much could be said about the songs they sang.
Say, while I’ve got you here, do you remember a few years ago that popular meme on-line to show a “banana for scale”? The first picture was a banana next to a photo of a small wooden model to demo the size? But after that, things took off for a bit and people were putting bananas into all kinds of photos to make it into a gag. Look what I’m showing you here.
Is this the top banana? Some say the whole “banana for scale” thing was just an ordinary event that went semi-viral. Others say it was a deliberate stunt and even the banana was a fake, like the plastic unit shown here. So the question some of you have to ask yourselves is, which version is the gag?
ADDENDUM
Ah-ha, I found out JZ doesn’t know how to tell a left-handed door. Do you? It’s easy. You stand where the door swings outward from you. If the hinges are on the side of your left arm, it is a left-handed door, and the opposite for your right arm. Or, another way, it is the hand with which you would normally grip the knob to open the door away from you. Now, can anyone remember the correct term for spreading fresh soil over the top of an existing yard? Nobody over here could remember that, but I know there is a term. Where you rake the soil into the surface. Except my surface is those green things that turn yellow in the fall. And I want a real lawn. Whaaaaaaa!
It looks like the first Willie tune has found its way into my list. That’s partially because I found a bass line that fits it better than the original. You’ll have to use your imagination here but who remembers Dr. Hook’s “On the Cover of the Rolling Stone”? Good old Willie lifted the chord pattern almost identically. So I had to modify both versions to make sure nobody spots the swap right off.
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