October 31, 2010

           Still examining the pub on wheels, I’ve watched three short on-line videos to see the thing in action. It seems to top end around five miles per hour with everybody pedaling in the same direction, forward as it were. There must be some kind of idler pulley or whatever you call it. I observed that like a bicycle linkage, the people not pedaling were able to coast along. There’s always one.
           Keep in mind this concept is nothing but wild speculation. But nor are there any serious impediments in terms of parts or materials and I further speculate if I had one I could make $1,000 tonight. I believe it fairly easy to produce one of these contraptions, and to build it stronger than shown in the available photos. The seats are all the same height, maybe this could be made adjustable and I would put chain guards.
           None of the pictures show the drive train in any detail. The waiver to ride contains clauses about damage, indicating it may not be all that sturdy. I would reinforce the joints with gussets and consider making the roof removable or collapsible. Apparently the roof racks are where the customer-supplied refreshments are stored. The steering mechanism reminds me of a go kart. And how about a couple on the back pedaling to operate some fans? Insurance is a good idea, though the literature says nobody has ever fallen off one of these.
           Theresa seems to be gone, but a lot of her stuff is still here. I was unaware she lost the storage locker (until she said), but then I was the one that told her not to bring anything. While unloading the truck, there looked to be a lot of family things. It’s a pity to lose such items, and she did have a rough childhood. As McManus would say, it’s a good thing nobody back then had yet invented childhood psychology or she might have been emotionally scarred for life.
           I can report a successful Halloween gig slash party. Jagger is definitely learning this unfamiliar music and I’m having to remind him not to over-play. That is not the sound we are going for. I told you the guy had talent. We completed two hours and still had a few tunes in reserve. To play out, we need three full hours. It is unlikely we would quit now. We were earlier competing with TV football so we ran through the weakest tunes we know and still got the tips. Sooner or later, we will connect with a club that loves what we do.
           The extra attention paid to arranging each tune is finally beginning to make a lot of friends. We have stumbled across another crowd-pleaser with Buffet’s “Volcano” which I picked up from Pat-B. It has a tricky bass line, so while I was at it I learned the steel drum motif which complements the bass notes. Next I figured why stop there, why not play a combination of both? To my sincere surprise, the crowd loves it. Now if I could only remember all those lyrics.
           My singing remains the weak spot. I’m on key, but I’m overwhelmed by remembering words while playing bass and operating the drum box. This brand of problem gets defeated by intense practice so I had better get off my tush. Also, my ear tends to “hear” harmonies and I get thrown. I have to concentrate so much that my bass playing starts to sound like a failed guitarist on bass, and we cannot have that. (For a lesson on what a guitarist sounds like when he tries to sing and play bass at the same time, listen to Blink-182.)
           Next new tune on the roster is that “Cause I Got High” by Afroturf or something like that. Sorry, I don’t follow artists, only individual tunes chosen for audience effect so often I could not even care less who plays it. Afroman? Yeah, Afroman.

October 30, 2010

           Several times I’ve learned Morse Code in my life. But without an interesting partner to keep in practice, eventually you gradually forget it. That is what I miss most about Robynette, she was always willing to learn anything new and was outright supportive when she finally met a guy like me who admits he doesn’t know it all because I keep insisting on learning. There will never be another Robynette. I’ve certainly never met anything of her caliber in Florida.
           I was looking for software that allows code to be transmitted over the Internet, and I was looking for a club to join. I could not find either. I’ll look deeper, for it is impossible I am the only one who had such an idea. What I found was this home made telegraph shown here.
           This key and sounder are available as a kit from Makezine, but the $49 price tag quickly put me off. Two blocks of wood, a door hinge and a spring, everything else I’ve got sitting in the junk drawer. I am still in austere mode not spending a penny more than necessary. I’ve got a sneaking feeling I’ll be needing the extra cash for my lawyer buddy quite soon. Remember, if there is another confrontation, I will not settle out of court. Last time I did that, the other guy told people he “won”.
           Of all the bad luck, a guy swings open his gate without looking and knocked me off my bicycle on the way home last night. I have a bruised right forearm and lost my fancy sunglasses. We could not find them in the dark. I hit that wire gate at around six miles per hour. The guy was careless, for that lane is a clearly marked bicycle path.
           I spent the day in the library, the less than popular branch in Hallandale. Where they let people talk out loud and kids run wild. The libraries don’t get the message, they have huge rooms of books with nobody reading them, but only one tiny computer room with 16 computers scrunched together like those old sewing machine sweatshop photos. That room has a two-hour waiting list but they just don’t get it.
           Another look at the “pedal pub” shows that outside of the one expensive rig from Chicago, all others are homemade. Interestingly, the fine print of their liability waiver you must sign to ride contains the statement that you will not “build or cause to be built any vehicle of the same or similar construction”. Now that is precisely how you get me to take a second look at something.
           Dave-O says he can build it, including the gear train. I’ve only conducted mental research with nothing on paper. I’m inclined toward a smalerl ten-person version with the rear tires trailing instead of underfoot. That heavy wooden canopy has to go. I think something like canvas or tiki hut is more appropriate. Dave-O of course wants to haul it down to Key West and run it 24/7. But Key West already has those little train trolleys that snake all over town. Dave-O thinks Key West is paradise.
           One thing I’m fairly certain of is that the rig is a two man operation. Dave is pricing the materials but for the most part we have agreed on aluminum. I see the little tow hook at the front end. Dave has access to an industrial laser cutter if we need gears. It isn’t rocket surgery to figure out the people across from each other would pedal in opposite directions and other less obvious features that seem up to me to notice.
           Last, I had a heated discussion with Eddie, the guitarist. He is miffed because, get this, in my band the guitarist isn’t the star of the show. To me that just shows how deeply the typical American guitar player psyche is ingrained with self-worship. I never gave the matter a second thought. I reminded him that it was, after all, my show, and I have every right to be the star if it so pleases me. He’s the guitarist I let go last autumn because he wanted to join my band yet play only his music. It don’t work that way.

October 29, 2010

           Here’s that idea that keeps cropping up when times are bad. These pubs on wheels are manufactured in Germany (I think) and sell for outrageous prices here. And it is that price that gets me thinking. First a reminder of a few details, since we looked at one of these a year or two back. The outfit does not sell liquor, but the waitress will serve what the customers provide for themselves.
           The wooden barrel contains ice (I'm told). There are thirteen seats, with ten sets of pedals connected to a common shaft. (Notice the man sitting above the rear tire has no pedals.) I’ve provided a large picture today so you can examine the rig. See the carbon dioxide cylinder?
           The customers pedal and move the rig along at a few miles per hour. Personally, I think it is a great idea only in a warm climate. Now back to the money. These rent for $190 per hour! To buy one costs in the order of $40,000. Now you and I both know it is not worth that kind of money, being a metal frame on wheels.
           Dave-O used to be a metal worker and has all the medium-sized tools to build this type of thing. To be exact, he is a card-carrying member of the ornamental ironworkers union. And unemployed carpenters are a dime a dozen in this town. I believe we could build one of these for less than $5,000. And probably do a better job. The idea would be to team up with a pub on the beach, all of whom are hurting pretty badly these days. Judging by what I see in that area, this is a minimum $500 per day idea. I would try immediately to get the thing licensed but that is politically unlikely in this town.
           I’ve warned before about buying on sale in Florida, for it is seldom regular stock being sold on clearance. Well, I go this can of bug spray and it seemed okay. I wondered about that. Now, months later, I found the defect. Each time you replace the plastic cap, it gets harder to remove the next time. This morning, it would not come off at all until I pried it off on the edge of the counter. The force required broke the plastic stem off the spray nozzle. And I mean broken right inside the housing, so I have to throw out a nearly full can of product.
           I read about a novel use for old telephone coily cords. Snip off the jack plugs and use the coil to hold together unruly bundles of wires and cables behind your desk. Why didn’t I think of that?
           I can tell you what I did think of, mind you. Wallace should be in Ontario by now. He tends to forget that I am just as familiar with the Canadian system as he is. That daughter who convinced him to screw me around always had one purpose in mind: to get her claws on the title to this property. That would be the twisted tale of a century to find out how she exploited Wallace to lay her hands on that document. Wallace is a blind fool to fact when it comes to conniving relatives.
           However, let me explain something that isn’t in the rule book. At the computer shop, we occasionally had seniors try to shaft us. They would call the cops to complain we overcharged. I learned two things. One: elder abuse is a felony for it carries a mandatory jail sentence of more than one year. It does not matter who is right or wrong, you cannot cause grief or aggravation to an elder or you will be arrested. Two: the police are required by law to follow up every report of elder abuse. Admittedly, that last bit used to surprise us, particularly when the elder was just trying to get out of paying their bill. The police still had to come around.
           Further, elder abuse is considered the more serious if the accused is not an elder. Several times I found my self being “interviewed” (think interrogated) by Federal detectives because I was the only man in the shop under that age. One phone call by any elder could put us through the FBI meatgrinder and they aren’t just snooping believe you me. Now add one more factor: disabled persons (such as myself since 11:21 AM on August 21, 2010) are legally deemed to be elders. Do I have to repeat that or is the message getting through?
           Either way, I learned by it and people had better think twice or three times before they get any cockamamie ideas about bothering me. Oh yes, I know all about the cavalry and the bugles. Watch for the convoy between Sunday and next Friday.
           So much drama!

October 28, 2010

           I spent a half day at the beach y’day and it was a nice quiet stroll. The shopowners would disagree since the Broadwalk was deserted. Built in the 1920s, it has been repeatedly restored to the décor of that era. The beach itself is on a sandbar separated from the mainland by the Intercoastal waterway. I walked and rode the full six-mile length and saw a total of possibly fifty people. In that curious fashion I have only ever seen in Canada and California, the prices remain high.
           Curious, I say, because it seems they would rather not rent it at $24 than not rent it at $12. I’m referring to the portable beach cabanas available for the day, comes with two folding chairs. (Same with the old computer shop. It is currently not rented at $2,800 per month.) I saw one cabana in use. There was a rumor that the Walkabout had called it quits, but I saw staff opening up as I passed.
           I was on a callout, one of the few reasons I can justify riding my bicycle to the waterfront. The client was a very successful t-shirt store. To me, this was fascinating because the guy also works with Corel Video. Most people have heard of Corel Draw. His package is a step upward both in price and complexity. I was surprised to learn an expensive rig like Corel has no easy method of exporting the finished video so it can easily be sent as an e-mail attachment, not very bright there, guys. I showed him how to do it with third party software.
           The shop owner had been what I once wanted to be, a movie editor. That’s the guy (women, it seems, don’t do so well getting the story straight, no comment) who takes all the odds and ends and assembles them into a storyboard. Even as a child, I knew that one day that person would be as important and famous as the director. That would have been akin to saying to my parents, “I’ve decided towrite for a living, so give me $15,000 for journalism school.” And a damn quick way to get your stupid head slapped silly.
           The owner had brought to Florida, from Chicago, one of the earliest editing consoles, about the size of a station wagon. It had two massive horizontal reels, you may have seen historical pictures of the setup. It became obsolete with the digital era, but trust me, the skill set of an experienced editor is as necessary as ever. Somewhere along the line, his wife got a job with a t-shirt company. With a year, they opened their own shop and got completely out of the movie business, which tells you something.
           Getting to the ocean took an hour riding against the wind, a sea breeze. So once there, I stayed a while, only to be hit on the way back by a land breeze. I’ve considered the “Hollywood Trolley” but it leaves only from Young Circle. Nobody seems to have informed City Hall that people don’t live downtown. One still has to drive to city center and pay to park, though you can park all day without worry. The trolley is $1 each way, has a bicycle rack and departs hourly. I may give it a try, though I am slow to admit I have trouble lowering the bike rack if it isn’t already down. The bike motor is a better option.
           Who remembers those polished rocks they sell at tourist traps? I looked into the machinery for today’s trivia. It is a tumbler that revolves or shakes and can cost from $50 to several hundred, the shakers reputedly do a better job. You add rocks and some commercial abrasive pellets and leave the thing alone for 36 hours. I had a few of these rocks as a youngster.
           They were from a place north of Montana called Drayton Valley. They represented another one of those “gifts” from father whether you wanted them or not. He got me the rocks instead of the machine, but that’s the kind of thing you’d expect from that cuss. He would often force some cheap trinket on you a month before your birthday and you quickly learned that was all you were going to get.

October 27, 2010

           The terminology was strange as Saratoga Stan explained to me that mares are normally bred every year. He has organized or belongs to a team that buys feed for these horses so that they get a year off now and again. This photo shows him beside one of the lucky ladies, he is asking for donations with the following criteria:
           25 cents will buy a carrot
           $3.00 a bale of hay
           $8.00 a bag of grain
           It gets mention because I was totally unaware that the female horses had to pay their way by getting pregnant. Insert snarky welfare comment here. How large is a bag of grain? I knew the price of granola but swear I just found out about the hay. I have no contact information except a reference to “Happiness Farms” (not the same outfit that Google finds).
           Non-believers beware, I bring sad news. My condition is subtle, the problem occurs not while I’m carrying out stressful activity, but overnight and into the following day. That little bit of coding (see last post) had me up at 3:49 AM. Now able to detect the tiniest onset of symptoms, I measured pressure of 147/93, serious enough in my case. Did I mention having minor indicators for the past twenty years but until recently didn’t know what they were? The conclusion is plain, no matter how young and tough you think you are: avoid stress.
           As promised, my equipment was moved and Jag was over for almost three hour’s rehearsal. He keeps overplaying the guitar parts but I understand this role takes unusual discipline. I further know this evolution can take years where Jag has been around less than nine weeks. I normally associate overplaying with rock and blues bands, yet Jag assures me he has not been practicing with his other people. The immediate game plan is another paid practice at Jimbos this Friday, then on to Buddy’s next Monday.
           I rounded up a dozen hardcover books and took them to the book exchange. That’s less weight to move if it comes to that. Then, pen in hand, I calculated all the likely scenarios that could occur in the next three weeks. The bicycle with the motor looks affordable and would be nice for the winter weather. Borders, the bookstore, is now closed and the next nearest is the Barn (Barnes & Noble), a forty minute pedal. It is a real disincentive to bicycle that far if one only wants an evening coffee.
           Again, it brings home the fact that there is nothing to do in downtown Hollywood. Not even a movie theater. There is Starbucks, whose entertainment has difficulty competing with TV basketball. There are a few Internet cafes right on the Boulevard, but that entire strip has degenerated to shicka-booba club style restaurants blasting incomprehensible Latino disco onto the chair-blocked sidewalks. (The nearest Latino community is Hialeah, twenty city miles away to the southwest.)
           A motorized bike will help, but it is not the perfect solution. It is well known on the streets that the local police half ignore bicycle theft. Thus, one is confined to the few places that have indoor parking and to tasks that otherwise don’t leave the bike unattended for more than a few minutes. There is the beach, which I admit to not visiting more than ten times in ten years. My reasons are what parking exists is expensive, it is too far to commute by regular bicycle, and the bus is inconvenient at best.
           Hopefully, the motor will change that. Bicycles park for free. The beach weather approaches ideal during the winter. I also don’t like doing anything where one has to keep checking the time or get a parking ticket. That destroys the moment for me and the local meters are purposely designed so you can’t park all day. You doze off reading a good book and you’ll awake to a $75 fine. Way to go, Hollywood.

October 26, 2010

           Lookie here, I found some old crib notes. And it is the kind of trivia you don’t have to think about. It has no date, so if this is a repeat, it is an interesting repeat. The typist’s phrase, “Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their party”, has been attributed to a court reporter caller named Willer in 1867. They had typewriters back then? Next, how many knights were eligible to sit at the round table? That exclusive club was limited to 150, meaning they ate in relays or something.
           More trivia, I hear the call. In 1938, minimum wage was 25 cents per hour, almost as much as the self-employed earn in Florida these days. The largest roach ever measured came in at 3.81 inches and his pregnant teen sister lives behind my electric stove. The largest silver nugget ever found weighs 1,840 pounds of 93% pure metal. And women shoplifters outnumber men by 4.5 to 1. Okay ladies, today in aisle 6 we have a special on silver nuggets . . . .
           Up to the Hollywood Library, now back to open six days a week with regular hours. That was one petition I signed on the spot. Close down the gay opera, not the library, you fools. I found several ads for bicycles with motors already attached in the $150 range. When I check in on Dave-O, who is still bed-ridden, I told him about these bargains. While we were looking forward to the project, I am also looking for a bargain.
           All afternoon found me up at Howard’s, and he now has a slick Wikipedia biography. It is far more complicated than we set out. Be assured that was not the plan, rathermore how it emerged as I went along and figured things out. It is no secret that Wiki wanted their site to look a little more distinguished than possible with html and css alone, but in the process they really contorted the commands.
           As par, they lacked a good writer on staff to document the process and produce a set of instructions. I normally don’t like people watching me correct computer code, but Howard is a professor and an exception. He was stunned by how much patience is required. Some parts of the code I had to re-read thirty repeats and several times had to look at a single line five minutes to find the bug.
           Most of said bugs were caused by Wiki’s altering the code structure. In one section you must include a pipe between fields, in the next section you must leave it out. All this requires unfathomable mental energy. That is how I know instantly who is a real programmer and who is a liar from Ontario.
           Wikipedia is guilty of the COIK syndrome, “Clear Only If Known”. This describes a situation where they only make sense to those who already knows what to do. They published a big disclaimer at the top of Howard’s bio stating his references were not confirmed by an independent third party (during the process we found many examples that were not confirmed or had dead links).
           I could easily have erased that code but decided not to piss Wiki off. My justification would have been that Wiki fails to define “comfirmed” or what makes a “third party”. They mean until one of their people looks the matter over and decides it is okay—but they can’t bring themselves to say it like that.
           Not normally a time-waster, I checked the Craigslist musician’s room to see who is looking for what. The entire list has degenerated into commercial advertising, with actual musicians counting for maybe one post in four. The rest are recording studios selling time slots, disk duplication offers and fringe items for sale. The way Craigslist is set up, there is no defense against such bad posting except to flag in unison. Musicians around here can’t agree on a song list much less on strategy.

October 25, 2010

           Here are some canned food labels from 1971. Hey, come back here you. I can explain.
           My calculation is that Wallace should be showing up any day now. If nothing else, this place has forced him to plan ahead better, and since I know the rules, I can predict the schedule as well as anyone. The cooler weather seems to be sticking around which is when folks should arrive here anyway. Hot weather isn’t fun in Florida and there is nothing to do when it broils outdoors.
           That’s good, because some issues need to be finalized. I have all my friends, lawyers included, saying to move on things now, but they do not understand I don’t dislike Wallace or entirely blame him for things that went wrong. There is emerging a third option that may work but I’m waiting a few more days to gather the pieces.
           By complete fluke, Bob (a semi-radical media spokesperson) and I were sitting down for coffee when in walks Kim, the lady friend of Wallace from whom we once borrowed a ladder. Her hair is much longer and I didn’t recognize her at first. Of course, we chatted about the situation and after a few minutes it was clear she had only heard one side of the story. She suspected all along that the talk I was a disobedient flunky just didn’t add up.
           It turns out Kim is the groundskeeper for one of my clients. That client’s children are my music students, I designed and built their homework computer network over a period of six years. One of their daughter’s boyfriends is my guitar player and the husband is my real estate lawyer. Kim reports she was beyond astounded to learn these facts considering what she had been told about me. And she’s only scratched the surface.
           Kim rented a place in Miami for six months; it was not all it was supposed to be. Now back in the area, she is looking for another place of her own. Hey, I know where there’s a room for rent. Seriously, once my income is secured, I will never share another place as long as I live. The exception, naturally, being the talented and rich girlfriends I meet from time to time, now in such short supply.
           Bingo at Buddy’s was a success. The crowd is slowly coming around to the idea that Monday is different. The open mic guitarist didn’t show up again, so I ran my old solo act from 8:30 to 11:00PM. I’d say there were a few converts. The staff was more than impressed, a triumph considering their total resistance to the bingo concept three weeks ago. Then again, winning cash money has a positive effect on most people.
           I’ve mentioned the low cost of a bingo show being something around one-fifth the out-of-pocket compared to running a music show of equal duration. Most music work is behind the scenes, so it becomes worthless in “asking for a raise”. The rationale is that I’m tailing the bingo show with music and the equipment is already set up. Yet sooner or later if the money isn’t there, you move along.
           These are without exaggeration the most difficult times I’ve ever seen for trying to operate a profitable band. I deduce that most musicians, if they kept fair accounting records which allowed for the true cost of equipment, plus moving and storing it, are working for less than minimum wage. Hardest hit are the solo guitar acts, where supply is a good twelve times the demand. What lack of competition exists is due to so many having just given up and gotten day jobs.
           That is part of the reason I’ve devoted such study to miniaturizing my act. If I had enough money, I could put together gear that could be moved by bicycle, though it is doubtful things will come to that. It is the only aspect left of the business where I could economize and compete. If there is less money out there than when I was fourteen, at least my setup and takedown time can be reduced to four minutes.
           In a music-related sideline, another possible hit song. I’ve been searching for that modern yet irresistible Spanish version of a crowdpleaser along the lines of “You Never Even Call Me By My Name”. Here’s something. La Venia Bendita, by Marco Antonio Solis. I’m working on the translation to minimize Kennedy-esque surprises like “I am a jelly doughnut.”
           Last, some sort of trivia. I compared the ingredient labels on canned vegetable today to the same labels from twenty and thirty-five years ago (available from HyTop and Libby’s). I had been impressed by the fresh flavor of some canned corn and guess what I’ve found? The food canning industry has positively learned a thing or two in all that time, no doubt influenced by health-conscious consumers. Or plummeting sales.
           Canned food used to be over-salted slurry. Take another look next time, or as I did, make a comparison between fresh and canned. The canned is not only cheaper and more convenient to store, these days it contains virtually the same nutrients and vitamins. The quality control of canned food seems to be running at 100%. Best of all, you can check this out for yourself.

October 24, 2010

           Dave-O has a fearsome bout of the flu, a far worse case than mine. This gets serious, at least to me, when he reports his eyes ache and won’t focus, for he likes to read. (I normally read two to three hours every day, mostly academic material.) I advised him to eat a lot of chicken soup, a peasant myth he’d never heard before. Maybe not total myth, for the steamy vapors do help clear the head. He’s going to check in later, meanwhile our plan to tour the Pro Bass shop is on hold. Dave-O doesn’t drink coffee.
           Book report time. One of the items I’m reviewing is titled “Easy Computing for Seniors”, written, it says, by the staff at FC&A Publishing. ISBN 978-1-932470-21-5. This remarkable book has to be one of the best-written I’ve ever encountered. It covers all the important points and I can recommend it for everyone, not just seniors. Every so often you find a computer book that is honestly out to help rather than just written to sell more books. I give it the supreme compliment: it successfully avoids the MicroSoft author style.
           The sure signs of fall are here. Shorter days, leaves turning color, Quebec license plates. There must be another major storm in the area upsetting the days, spotty rain most of the time. I decided a quiet day was in order, plus that let me check in on Dave-O from time to time. He zonked out for nine hours. When we called, he described his job in the merchant marine in his twenties. It was unionized and he had only a temporary card. Got a job as an oiler.
           Now you see, there is a job I didn’t even know existed until I was committed to another career. You walk around the engine compartment with an oil can and put a drop of oil into the piston heads once every hour. He got out of it when it became obvious the ships were converting into massive robotic-operated fleets with minimal staff. He spent a while as a steward washing dishes, and that is one job I am proud to say I’ve never had to resort to.
           He gets a settlement this upcoming January and wants to see the California redwoods. So would I, but until further notice I am neither driving a car or being a passenger inside one. Shift driving is only good for long mileage anyway, not for seeing the country. It works well enough if you have pre-planned stops. But the nice things to see in America are not exactly spread evenly over the landscape. I’d like to tour the Smithsonian, but from a hotel within easy bicycling distance.
           We also talked about the social security system. He has not admitted he will never make it back to work whereas I am resigned to my fate on that count. I am most aware I was only two points away from getting the top rate, and it would be nuts to suggest I didn’t really try to get back to work for the lousy three months I would have needed to qualify.
           I spent plenty of time in the government office waiting room. Listen closely, I consider my case extraordinarily rare because my condition shows no external symptoms whatsoever and cruelly targeted my career, the last thing I was prepared for. So how does the government ever manage to find another 95 people with no symptoms whatsoever to always show up on the same days I do? If you can answer that, smart ass, then explain why I’m the only one there who spoke English.
           Dave-O tells me of the disability tests in England. They put you in a hospital bed and “forget” to leave a bedpan. If you make it to the toilet instead of soiling the bed, you aren’t disabled. We don’t want that here, in America, the system considers only whether you are able to work, not personal quality of life. Considering that is what you paid into, it is only right. Now, did everyone pay into it like I did?

October 23, 2010

           Guitar Center does not sell jaw (or Jew) harps. The bike ride was worth it because it turns out there is a drum box repairman in the hardware department. And he knows how to program. We’ll be having a strategy meeting soon. I talked to five or six other customers, mainly about who’s playing where these days. People I recognized but darned if I can remember names.
           I toured the acoustic department and found the semi-acoustic guitar that Jag is going to want. It is $255, so not right away. It is the same model that Lou plays, although I had to find all this on my own. I looked at other prices, for instance, a gallon of frog juice is $25 and they have the battery-powered Roland bass cube for $249 (I won’t need it, as you read on).
           Top draw was the demo Fishmann SSA, the tiny PA tower I’ve had my eye on for six long months. I will still require a six or eight channel mixer, but they don’t seem to make any decent ones any more. The Fishmann has only two input jacks. It is amazing technology that they’ve eliminated the need for a woofer, you’d have to hear this thing to appreciate the sound. My entire stage show would be reduced to around 45 pounds. That consists of the PA, a mixer, my instrument, a laptop computer and wireless everything.
           Last night I got my PA moved and was saw another flopped Karaoke show. These people are competition but they are still friends of mine and if this keeps up, there will soon be a few survivors left. While my plans to streamline my gear are well advanced, it is a pity to see these people using dollies to roll in 800 pounds of gear for each gig, not to mention the time required. And the van to move it in.
           Let me apologize if I was a little harsh on Wikipedia. I re-read the entire page of instructions, then called Professor Howard to inform him I now think we can manage on our own. Part of the problem was lack of clear examples until you really dig deep, and the fact that the page is named “Footnotes”, which means a lot of things to different people. I don’t want footnotes, I want instructions on how to code references. Wikipedia gets my apology on because it was there, not because they did a good job of things.
           Being a little under budget, I developed a craving for KFC wings. That’s likely as there are no Popeye’s in the vicinity. It was $5 for, well, not very much, some chicken wings and potato fries. And they were not that spicy. Should have gone to BK. That reminds me, can anyone recall the name of Boston Market before they changed it? Something chicken or something fried.
           There was a Canadian guy at the library this morning, we talked about what’s changed since I was last there. Not much. He reports that the GST (goods and services tax) has finally evolved into the HST (harmonized sales tax), a VAT (value added tax) of around 14%. Somehow, I just can’t see a province like Alberta going for something like that. Money sent to Ottawa and then returned always comes back with attached conditions.
           Later, my Bingo was dead. But not as dead as Karaoke has been for several months running. I really am not sure how to react to this. If it comes down to a contest, bingo is the winner, but who dares to say so? In a very real sense, Karaoke is an institution at a lot of these places. The recession seems to have finally filtered down to street level. Mind you, downtown (a few blocks away) was packed ten deep, particularly all those clubs that seem to make a go if it having a crowd one day each week.
           Last, guitar Eddie is again putting it about that he is the person who got me singing, when in fact it was Arnel. Eddie came along three months later and it was one of probably twenty things he said, Eddie being so full of good advice and all. Anyway, I told him finally he was not influential and worse, his singing would have sent me down the wrong path.

October 22, 2010

           Today's photo is nothing but shameless self-promotion, designed to placate the voyeuristics drawn here from random ads placed on Craigslist. It's worth a shot and it gives the working class something to look forward to.
           By noon today, my PA system was still sitting at the wrong club. Part of the deal was they move the gear by Wednesday, but that did not happen. I’ll round up Dave-O later. Time to reassess the new location, for I will not possess the means to haul around band equipment until further notice. It will all work out, but again because I stepped in and made it work out.
           My booklet is finished and ready for publication in raw form. I’d like to re-title it to something like “Necessary Computer Terms for 2010-2011”. Including a date is a touch other authors avoid, but my spider sense says planned obsolescence worked for Detroit, did it not? What is not imaginary is that this brand of deadline-based authorship is verboten by my cardiologist.
           It is my firm position that nothing can be only “a little bit” MLM. It is or it isn’t and percentages cannot hide the fact, at least not from me. I understand why the perpetrators of that swindle go through lengths to conceal what they are up to. But they cannot answer my perpetual question, “If your system is so great and you are making so much money at it, why are you trying to sell it to me?”
           As a sideline from the writing project, we reviewed a booklet purporting to tell people how to save money “at any age”. Amusing but useless, as the focus was on large or rare events, like to sell your house in the spring rather than the fall or to go bowling. People need to know how to save a little now and in the most painless way. This brought up the question as to how I live without a credit card and pay all my bills cash. One has to have the cash to do that, goes the logic, so how do I always have cash?
           Is there a booklet in the making on that topic? Most people would not like the advice I give them, but would most of them buy the book? Why wouldn’t they like it? Because it involves making a budget, which most people don’t know how, and in the process a budget strips away the nonsense that most people believe over how well they are doing. I would be living like a zillionaire if I was as far in debt as most people—and headed for the same dead end.
           To make the example short, a person earning $50,000 per year, or about average these days, would after taxes and the 30% debt service recommended as “correct” by credit counselors, take home around $1,800 per month, assuming it costs something to get to the job. That, friends, is not very much money. My book would simply advise ways to ensure the full $1,800 eventually became your own instead of the banks. Then you could invest the 30% and maybe get somewhere, no names mentioned.
           Such instructions would make a few assumptions, for instance that people are, for the sake of future ease, willing to exercise a little self-control today. Yet, it is only recently that I’ve met people who can go an entire week and make nothing. Zero, not one penny. It must take a lot of hard work and experience to manage that. How do they do it? Do they see the money coming and duck? This is America and you can make $100 a week standing still, for Christ’s sake. Just wear a gorilla suit.
           Aha, theory into practice. Have you heard the new version of “Can’t You See” released by the Zack Brown band? Give it a listen to understand what I’ve been saying for years about playing the music with what you’ve got. No, I don’t mean re-write it to the Zydeco version, I mean capturing the essence of a song and presenting that as best you can. There is no rule that says duos must only play duets. That is why people “hear” and entire band when I work my drum machine.
           Now here’s another theory. Have you ever noticed that the inside dimensions of a Wal*Mart Styrofoam cooler are the same as a budget air-conditioner? Most Florida campgrounds have an electric outlet for things like a lamp and your laptop charger. But 110 is 110 as far as I’m concerned, and after all, they are charging you for the juice. Give me a pair of scissors and some duct tape and I’ll have the most comfortable tent and test my cold weather sleeping bag to boot.

October 21, 2010

           Optimistically, I should be able to patent my new word puzzle soon. My primary incentive for the patent is that the distributor insists before they agree. A study by the government reveals that patents are the most complicated forms in the US. Probably the most expensive as well, with legal fees averaging close to $10,000 over two years. The design patent I seek is somewhat simpler and I’m up to going it alone.
           Here’s a statistic, 75% of on-line shoppers abandon their shopping carts before completing the purchase. The source I read blamed everything from number of steps involved to the inability to easily back out of a sale. Myself, I think it is the fact that sellers refuse to quote the prices clearly and people enact the shopping cart just to see how much things truly cost. Then bail.
           Taking a cold look at music, the bottleneck has become the obstacle of remembering lyrics. I’ve been looking for easy ways out and “that won’t do”. Whether or not I lack talent isn’t the issue here. There is something I have that most musicians don’t—a working brain. I’ve decided my challenge is to use that to in some way commit all the lyrics infallibly to memory with a complete accuracy. Hey, am I not the kid who once memorized the first hundred lines of “How Horatius Kept The Bridge” in a single day?
           More and more studies are concluding the human brain begins to shut down as early as age thirty. I say they are blaming the wrong cause. Anything will deteriorate if you don’t use it. The shared characteristic of people who lose cerebral capacity is that they stopped learning as their brains degenerated into gossip “chew the fat” mode. I suspect the research is stilted by not weighting the rareness of those who keep learning throughout life. So, by learning, I mean academic topics. You know what I’m talking about.
           I had an infrequent callout today concerning a client on Wikipedia. Recently that outfit has been stung over fake credentials, meaning a group of people collaborated to post false information. Now other well-meaning contributors have to go through hoops. Every search containing “Wiki” went right back to Wiki, whose instructions totally suck. That’s why the client had to phone for help.
           My task was to discover, at minimum cost, the posts which will pass muster. This should be easy, but it is not. You see, every search that even includes the term “Wikipedia” overpowers the results. Lately, Wiki results have been showing up in Google searches, a powerful lure to on-line advertisers. Put another way, Wiki is finally experiencing the same phenomena as this blog.
           Worse for Google, Wiki results are contextually categorized. That means Wiki can zero in better on which version you want. Who recalls my first complaint about Google many years back, where I entered “rocket” and got back songs by Elton John? To this day, Google has never fixed that defect. Never do a Google on “beaver” if there are kids in the room.
           The utter dominance of the search results is not a measure of quality (I admit it), rather a parameter in the search engine algorithms. Search engines don’t evaluate worth. And now, Wikipedia has just encouraged another stranger to defeat their system. It took me two hours to locate and post two references today because I could not successfully find a working third-party tutorial on Wiki tags.
           I posted the preliminary documents, thereafterward I pirated pages that resembled my client’s concept and altered the code. I would not have done this if Wikipedia had decent instructions. It is fine for them to make a rule that requires cites and refs, but another to assume everybody out here knows exactly computer lingo they require to do so. If they get burned, they were asking for it.

October 20, 2010

           I see that Dremel is being used to scallop guitars. This is something you don’t want to try on your vintage Strat. I had once considered a mild scallop on my 5th fret so I would have a tactile reference point to help prevent me from looking down while I’m singing. Today’s photo is, I consider, an extreme example of the process. In theory, it should work fine. I had no time to research the article, but Dremel may be selling a set of bits specifically designed for your standard 21-fret guitar neck.
           I’m working on an instruction manual for a friend. This means I have to totally understand the project, so I have something to say. Listen to me, if any where during a process, no matter how complicated, there is buried one ounce of multi-level marketing, then it is an MLM scheme. Your personal chances of ever making any money with MLM are less than zero. I’ve not heard a new sales pitch for MLM in 30 years.
           Today I heard again the tired line that MLM is the wave of the future. Seems to me that future was 15 or 20 years ago. MLM was a theory that hit the marketplace after WWII with outfits like Amway and Mary Kay. Because they sold a real product, they were legally exempt from pyramid scheme laws. But the concept never worked except for the few and has not evolved one lick in all those years.
           It is stale material, I’ve heard all the lines. Work from home, own your own business, its money people spend anyway, write off your expenses. The point is your customers have to be sold on the concept before they are sold on the product. That means there is no direct cause and effect between the work and the reward. It is a sales job and most people are not good at sales. Look at who they married.
           What’s more, it is irksome enough to have a salesman hovering over a major purchase, so who wants one laying the trip on you over a cheap box of soap. There is always something unwholesome about people with hidden agendas. People that need somebody else to explain it to you. People that can’t spell out what they do in their business to make money.
           This flu has my throat completely raw and sore. My sources say it is just another phase of the same infection working through my system. So I went to the library to give it to everyone else. Serious, I am past the sneezing stage; I was there to do research. I see that propane refrigerators have quadrupled in price to over $2,000. The same site was selling solar cookers.
           I’ve looked at these cookers over a period of years. Like most people, I’ve never followed it up. There are so many conflicting claims there is no place to start. Well, I’ve got the pizza box, the aluminum foil and the duct tape. I’m going to slap something together and either it heats up or it doesn’t. But I’m not going another day without ever having not at least tried. There was a caution not to glue the tinfoil to the container, as the heat produced could release toxics onto the food. Makes sense.
           What I hope to discover is the level of concessions that have to be made to get the water tolerably warm. When I was eight, I had the bottom of my feet scalded by water that had been lying in an ordinary black garden hose. There was no parabolic reflector or fancy engineering back then, yet be assured that water was damn hot.

October 19, 2010

           This flu seems to have multiple stages so I stayed in the cool inside. It looks like I will get published this year after all. I’ve completely revised a computer handbook that contained outdated terms and did not cover current developments. I can’t sustain this pace, but I was able to type for several consecutive hours. That’s good, since one of the flu symptoms is an aching lower back. The project is ready for the press although I think I’ll keep it longer before signing it over to the publisher.
           My taste has returned so I scarfed a can of spiced tuna, a tin of Mexicorn, a bowl of plain rice, two boxes of mango juice and a handful of Spanish peanuts. Hey, gotta make up for lost time. Oh yea, add two helpings of Asian hot and sour soup, that really cleans up the old sinuses and a can of cheese macaroni I was saving for a special day. A week of no taste buds is major sensory deprivation. At times I found myself daydreaming of a Big Mac.
           Jag called, we cancelled tonight’s practice. He is now convinced that we certainly have a unique sound for this area. He is the one now prodding me to get on with new material. I’ll need a ton of practice to double our repertoire. If only from increased enthusiasm for my brand of music, the coffeehouse was a wise move. He has a reserved demeanor that makes it tough to tell when he catches on to a new tune.
           Dave-O was over for a few hours as we went over the bicycle motor project in detail. We covered the pending move with the wagon, his new guitar strings and generally everything else going on in the world. He is in a union and reports some of his co-workers have been sitting on the bench for nearly 18 months. We focused on the bicycle motor, constantly joking how Theresa would interpret two adult men discussing a mechanical process neither had done before. Ah, it is the superior male mind at work, you see Theresa, and unlike women, we will actually built this thing.
           The 49cc motor will make it nearly impossible for me to lift the bicycle high enough to place it on the city bus rack. In fact, unless the rack is already folded down, I already have trouble with that. Dave-O has slowly started lifting weights and it shows in how he picks up band equipment without a second thought. Also he can lift speakers almost shoulder high which I have not been able to do in seven long years.
           The Frenchies are returning. I saw four Quebec plates pass by and the neighbor across the way is tidying up the place. Yes, it will be a cold and long winter, the night time temperatures are already plunging. Dave-O and I have decided to head up to the Pro Bass shop later this week for some gear. Who remembers that Coleman lantern that appeared here? According to this journal, I bought it at the casino flea market and completely forget I did. It isn’t pressurizing so we’ll take it up to Pro Bas for a diagnostic.
           We also discussed the advantages of propane over electric. Dave-O has some experience at this. I had it in South America but never gave it any thought since we never ran out. The only electric really needed is for air conditioning as the climate here is not to be endured without it. He also has a hobby interest in solar panels and heating, so we’ll see where that goes once I have some extra cash.
           Dave-O belongs to a small society that follows up on hidden treasure. It would not get mention excpet he’s belonged to the group for nearly ten years, so they are not a bunch of dough heads with a metal detector. The leader is a doctor, what are the ones that operate on lungs called? Pulmonary, something like that. I think most of the Spanish gold has been secretly found and the finders were smart enough not to say anything. Then, it hit $1,360 an ounce earlier today.

October 18, 2010

           I can now say with authority that bicycle gears last approximately 8,600 miles in regular usage. Both the chain sprockets and the gear teeth wear down on the edges, causing the bicycle to slip into higher gear unless you constantly adjust the hand grip. Time to take it into Lee’s for the big overhaul and new drive train, my estimate is $60.00. Not a problem, since that mileage means 430 gallons of gas I didn’t buy. Zero carbon imprint from a $50 bicycle.
           Let’s talk costs today. My next vehicle must last seven years (2,573 days). My budget is $1.36 per day for ownership. This does not include operating costs, but I will be spared insurance because I am now immune from being sued over my pension. I do tend to keep a $10,000 blanket policy at a cost of $78 per year, however, as even riding your bicycle into somebody at 9 mph can cause a lot of damage.
           The purpose of this next vehicle is travel, not around town transpo. I still intend to install a 49cc motor on my bicycle, adding 19 pounds to the load weight. It would have come in handy today, as I was looking for the butane canisters. I finally located them at a catering supply but it took me three hours I didn’t really have to spare. The bicycle, powered or not, is still the most economical [in-town] system. It also saves on parking and the time that always takes.
           Those canisters raise another topic, gas versus electric. I learned my lesson in 2005, but could not apply it here. A propane stove, hot water heater, and fridge would put me in luxury right now. I’d buy them in a second, relegating the electricity to lighting, a washer/dryer, and air conditioning at around $45 per month tops. Propane doesn’t require a huge deposit and when you are out, you are out. I prefer that.
           Getting back to travel, I have long since located a camp trailer towable by a motorcycle. In fact, the model by Leisure-Ease weighs less than 18% of the hitch capacity of a Dnepr and sets up in 33 seconds. The price is ferocious but it will drop rapidly now that the product is a few years old. Coleman now has an 8-person tent that sets up in 60 seconds. See today’s photo. That’s large enough to pitch a smaller tent inside it, mind you, it weighs 45 pounds.
           I’ve located a used Dnepr for $3,499.00. These things are not cheap, and they do require more than usual maintenance. I’m undecided [about buying the motorcycle] but not about the cost compared to the cheapest car when it comes to travel. My maximum travel budget for 2011 is 122 days in time and $3,100 in dollars. That’s $25.41 per day, so if I don’t camp, I don’t go. The only place I’m committed to go is Texas, so if I cut it short, I could probably afford a little luxury.
           Meanwhile, we’ve checked out Dave-O’s trailer hitch and everything is compatible. I even have a place to store the trailer, but make no mistake about it—I’m not moving out of here until the second before the office puts the padlock on the door and I see the signed papers. In case anything goes wrong, I’ve covered all the readily conceivable bases. I’ll be at the office at opening time tomorrow.
           Here’s something to stick in your craw. Have you seen the new banner for the Canadian Ministry of Attorney General? It pointedly goes out of the way to ensure no Anglos are shown in the artwork. That’s one thing about racial equality and cultural diversity—they never let the majority vote whether they want it. It seems, democratically, the majority never know what is good for them.
           Bingo was a failure. But not as much of a failure as what happened on either side of it. I’d hang around just a bit longer to see what comes of Monday nights. For now bingo is drawing bigger crowds but five people can be a crowd around there. It is still too early to make any conclusions.

October 17, 2010

           Today’s book is “The Intruders” by an author with the unfortunate name of Stephen Coonts. By chapter four it is still the schlock tough pilot guy who gets shipped out for fighting and can’t help making a hero of himself everywhere he goes. He knows airplanes, but not women, since he thinks his pushing 30 girlfriend is at home waiting for him.
           The author is military, evidenced by his preoccupation with people’s names instead of their jobs. I mean, must we need know the guy who winds up the cables is called Aviation Boatswain’s Mate Third Class Johnny Arbogast? It is an ego thing and the book is clearly aimed at that market. If this novel has a plot, I intend to find it. I am still down with the flu and reading a lot.
           You should see my new medical plan. In some ways, like free eyeglasses, it is better than the phone company (which gives you one pair every ten years). I admit not having been to a dentist since I left the company in 1996, so I’m carefully going over the complicated options. Most allow for the requisite two dentist visits per year so choosing the correct coverage is crucial now. This is something new over which I have zero experience.
           I’m another hundred pages into “The Intruders” and still cannot figure out where this story is going. Bingo was mediocre last evening and there is a mild cold spell today, so combining the two, I’ll take the book along to do some shopping and have coffee at the Panera. Sometimes there are good-looking women in there. But usually not. Florida is the worst place I have ever lived for single women. What’s out there is in really awful condition. I have only met one single professional woman here in eleven years (a doctor), and she is half my age.
           Later, I finished the book. It never did pick up, although the ingredients were all present. The author is another lawyer, an ex-carrier pilot who loves to detail the launch and recovery in every chapter, it seems. The climax was when they manage to get shot down flying an $8 million plane in the Malacca Straits by pirates with an antique anti-aircraft cannon. The airplanes cannot be made any smaller, they say, or the pilot’s ego won’t fit inside.
           I’ve also finished “Victoria’s Wars”, the one-sided account of the British in the Crimea, India and China. Toward the end, the tale is an increasingly difficult read by their bizarre system of awarding titles. Then again, so much bureaucracy depends upon only those within the system knowing exactly who is called what and when. Only the Chinese were worthy opponents. You’ve got to love the way they beheaded smart-ass Englishmen above the city gates. By comparison, the Indian mutinies were gangs of the worst rabble attacking women and children.
           However, if you would like more understanding of the idiotic ways the English (and Canadians) justify their screw-ups, this book is a good reference. You can see the underpinnings of all their lame tax laws, useless political parties, avoidance of personal responsibilities, half-baked social welfare theories, and unshakeable self-righteousness so familiar nowadays.
           That reminds me, still no word from Wallace. That is exactly the wrong thing to do in this situation. My appeal lasted a week over five months longer than the original prediction, so had he listened, I could have told him to the day when I would run short of money (September 8). The fact is he did not listen. But I did. When I learned (September 29) he and Theresa had a “rental arrangement”, I have every right to understand it meant they were paying that share. They weren’t. Imagine two people calling me irresponsible who between them could not cough up $200 a month.
           The bottom line is I had to rent out my own room and go live in the shed just to keep my word to Wallace, but does he appreciate it? No, he shows up with the attitude a lousy three months wages made him some kind of southern plantation owner whom I was lucky to serve. The thing is, I know he isn’t that dumb, so somebody got to him. Good, if they don’t have the back rent in the office by end of today, all that cash goes down the drain. Let’s find out how stupid his advisor truly is.
           Oh, and never say our multi-cultural society has not been enriched by the “martial class” Hindus. I now have proof at least one of their words has entered common usage in our society. It is a word based on the performance of their soldiers after a battle: “loot”. And in an uncanny parallel, it is used mostly concerning a certain caste of our society.

October 16, 2010

           For those wanting the inevitable analysis of the last performance, wait no longer, it is already done. Jag performed admirably and stated he felt more confident in front of the coffeehouse crowd than at Jimbos. I can think, however, of several reasons for that. I still forget lyrics on stage which Cowboy Mike asserts is perpetual. I lacked the proper “punch” although there is considerable progress since this experiment began on September 1.
           On the upside, we enjoyed the most enthusiastic and consistent applause of the evening, considering the crowd was, as it were, laid back. All eyes were on us start to finish including a couple in the far west end who were otherwise in their own space. Ours was the only act that had people singing along. By closing time, we were still getting compliments about our selections.
           Next, rating the competition as it relates to us, not the audience. Keep in mind this is solely my opinion. The other duo was our only serious rivalry, consisting of two guitars. But they did not have their voicings down. When strumming, both played the same chops behind the vocals, which is one voicing. The lyrics were also sung in harmony and cadence, which is also one voicing. Total voicings: two.
           Their only variations were the instrument breaks, played by nearly identically toned guitars. The first guy, a soloist, kept strumming full blast, forcing the “lead” notes to be over-picked for volume. That as well amounts to only two voicings. Whereas there is nothing “wrong” with this arrangement, I find it is hardly the most effective use of the resources available.
           In the opposite musical direction, all our music is chosen to have four voicings (distinct parts of nearly equal volume), namely drums, bass, rhythm and vocals. None of these elements overlap in either beat or melody, often purged right down to the individual measure. The audience is hearing a significantly more intricate presentation, I believe as intricate as I can make it without resorting to backing tracks. This is what I set out to do and believe this will stand us apart from the legions once we get it polished up.
           It is not lost that this is a non-conventional approach to a changed local music market. I can’t define those changes, but I can tell you they are permanent and irreversible. The vast non-French tourist crowds have not returned for three years running so music is now played to increased ratios of local regulars. The upper hand is no longer to musicians who are the best, but to those who can adapt the fastest.
           [Author’s note: many Karaoke shows have not evolved and are hitting the same barriers.]
           I just finished John Grisham’s “The Chamber”. He’s the same lawyer who wrote “The Firm”, “The Pelican Brief” and “The Client”. Again, I got lost in his swarm of characters, many of whom are not central to the plot. He once again assumes the reader knows and remembers the job titles and duties of all the lawyers, judges, governors and secretaries and all their names. I don’t, I had to keep a list. There’s two types of lawmen, those “fer ya” and those “agin ya”.
           The plot is a man who drives a racist bomber around. One time a bomb fails to explode when he expects it and he returns to the scene. It detonates and he is arrested, convicted and goes to death row. His grandson meanwhile becomes a lawyer and takes on his case. This will not make a movie, as it does not have a Hollywood ending.

October 15, 2010

           My camping skills are honed right back up to the days when I was a boy scout, and the troop cook, I might add. I had a knack for it, nothing special, but it spared me from having to wash dishes. That was a task, it seems, that always got relegated to certain kid brothers. If I am ever to see the USA when I get older, preparing my own meals is a given.
           Land travel is expensive; it costs twice as much to drive to Seattle as fly there, including the allowance for their airport being in the wrong county. My guess is that accommodation prices won’t fall much as the hoards of new retirees start their caravans next year. That is one area they are not likely to skimp, although it is hard to understand why they do it. I mean, you go to Vegas when you are 25, not 65. As I’ve said, the major obstacle to not driving is the lack of local transportation when you arrive.
           I’m getting plenty of practice cooking “in the dark” (actually I have excellent lamps) and I’m finding the variety of preserved food is twice as large as it used to be. In some ways my diet has more range than when buying refrigerated food. But beware that there is no cost savings due to the price of fuel. For example, potatoes and rice are cheap, but it takes twenty minutes to boil them. Chicken is also out. I’ve become a so-so expert on finding the items that just need heating up.
           It only took one glance at a motor home to tell me those are no bargain. In many cases, they cost as much as a decent motel. They lumber along except on paved roads and a tank-up can set you back $150. Worst, many communities are requiring they overnight only in designated recreational areas, which charge by the person. Besides, who likes driving a bus on holidays? Have you ever tried to park those things?
           I had a truck camper in my twenties. A hospital laundry truck driver said I could have his old one. I made two trips with it, finding I would get to a destination, park it, and walk around. The concept of traveling through great scenic passes was all on the advertising brochures. The most use I got from it was one summer I worked on a bridge crew.
           The Dept. of Highways provided bunkhouses, but if you want to live with forty hacking, swearing, burping, smelly, and who knows what else old men, join the army. Instead, I parked the camper forty feet away near a state campground, thus having the equivalent of a private penthouse when the women from town showed up to party on the weekends. It was on one of those boring mid-week stretches that this journal was born.
           Even though he is not a coffee drinker, Dave-O wants to see the show tonight. Plus, we have to ensure that his trailer hitch fits my trailer just in case we have to suddenly move a bunch of things, know what I mean? He used to be a roadie and is one of a five people volunteering to help me move my things. But I don’t have that much, what you see is a lot of accumulated items that would certainly be thrown out if I decide to put my things in storage and move to Colorado. I don’t want to move, but neither is there a piano tied to my ass.
           Cowboy Mike drove us out to Stork’s, a coffee house on University. We stayed up until midnight in what amounted to a heavily guitar-based show. Jag and I played eight tunes from 9:00 PM onwards for a small crowd that definitely appreciated our offerings. My music choices tend to be unique to this area, for instance I believe we are the only band that plays Nancy Sinatra.
           We are not a coffee house band but meshed well enough to garner a spate of compliments on both our choice and our presentation. While there were other duo tunes, they tended to play standard parts and pieces in unison rather than the customized patterns Jag and I have worked on since day one. That day was six weeks ago, so please come and hear us in another six.
           This is also the first time I’ve sung in front of an unknown crowd. All previous instances have had some component of familiarity, such as Karaoke. I’d say it went well, and in the case of the drum machine, it may be the first time some people have heard one used properly (based on questions asked afterwards).
           One question was how on earth I got pre-recorded tracks to cover odd measures, which is impossible. Um, because they are not pre-recorded, they are real drum progressions that I programmed beat for beat and control with a foot switch. I found the mic was too sensitive and had to hold back on some of the vocals.
           All this experience is accumulating, take note. We are going get Jag to play and sing a few of his tunes by bands like Blink-182. I doubt he understands this requires another layer of co-ordination they don’t teach you in school, so the sooner he finds out the sooner we move along. There were a few too many guitarists doing repetitious ballads tonight and the sexy women didn’t walk in until after our show was over. In all, I’d rate it a success. Success that’s a forty mile round trip away.

October 14, 2010

           Dave-O met me up at Buddy’s to move my gear. At that time the staff suggested I start an hour or two earlier. This will catch the after-work crowd, they say, plus match the end time of the VFW bingo next door, whom they intend to invite. This is a ‘bout face from two weeks ago when some said my bingo show would not fly. Nonsense, this is the best small bingo in town and I know the ropes.
           There had even been a rumor that some of the regulars would refuse to play. Now they are waiting when I arrive and the owner’s wife regularly plays five cards. The good news, the show would still be entirely on Kat’s shift, who now describes her Monday’s as “the best ever”. She’s the server who took a chance on me. And by know everyone has a good idea of what kind of money she is now making on that day.
           I’ve completed my investigation into bicycle motors. I looked at, plus or minus, engines of 30cc, 40cc, and 49cc (above which is generally considered a motorcycle). I looked at products from Honda, Mitsubishi, Tecumseh, Schwinn and others, rejecting those with prices so high as to make the unattended bicycle a juicy target. Guys, nobody puts a $900 engine on a $200 bike frame.
           Kudos to Island Hopper Bicycle Motors in Florida for a rare very helpful web site. There are two major traction methods. They are friction and chain/belt drive. Friction is a motor with the drive shaft turning a roller directly upon the tire. Critics say it skips going uphill or when the tread gets wet, whence one must pedal to keep up. Sounds like the opposite of what I want.
           The chain drive is the better, if more complicated, choice. The 30cc motors are cheap and overheat easily, limiting their range to a few blocks. The 40cc units go much further but have a reputation for burning out within one year. That means the 49cc is the smallest practical motor. In reality, the 49cc limit does not apply to bicycles, but is the dividing line between scooters and bicycles. As long as the unit can still be pedaled, it is a bicycle and can have any size motor.
           By fluke I found the perfect scooter as well. It is a 49cc unit that had been left in the rain, so was not shiny. It had 992 miles on it and was on sale for $350. But that is how tight the budget is and I had to say no. I’ll need that money if I have to move soon and other deals will come along.
           Rehearsal has to be effective, so today’s was cancelled when both Jag and I reported headaches. It is not the flu, which I have had it for ten days now and I very rarely get headaches, as in once every ten years. I could not read or write, or play any music. Too bad since I was learning “Build Me Up Buttercup” as a surprise for Pat-B. The song has six or seven different bass patterns, a sure sign it was built up in a studio. It also has a note (not the easy guitar chord) near the ending that I cannot figure out. That is also rare.
           That brings to mind a musical point. I pride myself in finding the correct notes whenever I see a bass tab that shows “indistinct” notes. Slap-damping is not much of an effective bass technique. That is why I conclude that most such notes that get into music are the result of mistakes or fumbles rather than deliberate. My theory is reinforced by the timing. Most dampened bass notes happen during complicated “guitar” riffs and occur in the predictable spots.
           I am now up to the Indian Raj era in “Victoria’s Wars”. Is the author out to convince us that the entire sub-continent consists of a murderous gang of mutineers? From personal experience (I was in India in the ‘80s) I will concede that for whatever other purpose their religion serves, it is also a handy device for making excuses. Just about anything anybody does not want to do can be shored up by some Hindu or Muslim belief. Then again, the British should have known better than to recruit entire regiments from the same town or same sect.
           I am somehow not surprised that the cause of the mutiny was the requirement for soldiers to bite off the bullet covering. Shooting bullets is the very thing they are hired to do, and they showed no subtlety whatsoever on that one. They cooked up a story that the bullet grease was pork and beef, conveniently covering taboos in both religions, and that biting it would “steal” their religion. (Some religion, indeed.)

October 13, 2010

           I went to book exchange again to find nothing new had arrived. At rehearsal, Jag has shown a real improvement in balancing his guitar to the other voicings, but still has a tendency to overplay. Trust me, I know this temptation, particularly after playing in a larger group and then switching to a solo or duo. You try to “fatten” up the sound where it takes considerable discipline to keep it simple.
           We did a rehearsal standing up as we would face the audience. This revealed a couple non-evident problems, such as my tendency to look down at the foot pedal thus missing some of the vocals through the microphone. That means more practice, or a head set, or some better trigger than the footswitch. The limitation now is my ability find songs I can sing. We need fourteen more, and that is optimistic as there are a couple that we should probably drop already.
           Checking on my equipment on the return leg, I ran into the owner at Buddy’s. She has given the go-ahead for my bingo show to take priority on Mondays. That means if we run over, the following act has to wait until I’m finished. That’s always a good sign even if it signifies the other party is not holding up their end. She further asked if I could do a singles act, which I had to answer yes and no. She wants me to give it a try.
           All this leads to Friday, where it is arranged to head out to Nova U with Cowboy Mike. It is a five hour show, so bring your reading material. It is [another] coffeehouse, and here is Mike’s report: “They have poetry readings, and some of the ladies get pretty raunchy. They read a lot of poems they wrote about sex. There is one fifty-year-old that really gets herself worked up. Don’t buy anything there. I never have, not even a coffee. They want $2.50 for a coffee. They don’t give the band nothin’. Not even a donut.”
           But it is exposure we need and I’m sure we can swing the coffee. I sent Ray-B an email to minimize us all playing the same tunes before the other arrives. Upon consulting with Dave-O on the phone, we’ve decided not to follow up the CPI scooter and instead to look at some his friend has put together from kits. I was able to find smaller motors, I believe the one I want is no longer available. It was a 30 cc unit. I found others, such as the Sachs 301, a 30 cc German design made in China. But at $1,550 it can stay there.
           Dave-O is a fan of two-stroke motors, saying the new pollution controls have made them clean and quiet. I’m unconvinced. The last two-stroke I rode was a new lawn tractor and the persistent vibration was evident even when idling. The motor made a constant humming noise and I can imagine the fatigue induced by these engines when attached to a light frame [such as a bicycle].
           I’m half through “Victoria’s Wars”. It has been flawlessly proofread so far and I’ve just completed the segment on the Light Brigade during Balaclava. I learned that Montgomery’s ambiguously worded orders during World War II have historical precedent. The British military structure causes them to issue orders that can point blame at subordinates or colleagues in case of failure but claim the glory otherwise. In the Crimea, the commander was audacious enough to say that his subordinate should have “had the military sense” to disobey the order. Some army.
           Their Allies, the French, seemed to have an outstanding supply system. While the British froze and starved, the French had wooden supply huts and surplus food. Too bad these things are not permanent, as shown by the utter failure of the French system a century later at Dien Bien Phu. The book is pro-British. To cover up unpleasant facts, it often credits the enemy Russians with much better armies and performance than could have been.

October 12, 2010

           Welcome, first day of decent weather in six months. Overcast, perfect humidity, slight ocean breeze, 72 degrees, same every year but not for long. You know what this means. The Frenchies will soon be here. Don’t pack up just yet, we’ve been fooled before. Every sign points toward a lengthy winter, like 2002 – 2003, where it stayed damn cold for four months. Let the global freezing lobby have a turn.
           I looked at the scooter. It is in terrible shape from standing outside for years. It is made by CPI, a Chinese company I never heard of with a dealership in Ft. Lauderdale. It is a 1999 with 9900 km. The title is in some other person’s name, meaning if they cannot be contacted, it requires at least 90 days to file a claim on an abandoned vehicle. If she can find the owner, then if Dave-O can start it, I’ll pay $100.00.
           I can explain. I now have a small travel budget. The reason is not laziness in pedaling my bicycle, only a dunce could say that. The reality is trips beyond 5.15 miles radius from here often take too much time for the task at hand. Should I require a bolt or washer from Home Depot, the round trip takes a minimum two hours.
           I’ve ignored (by planned calculation) a lot of routine maintenance on my music and computer gear over the previous two years, which now must be attended. I need to travel the distances economically when required, which rules out the bus. My average moving bike speed of over 8 mph does not apply to wait times at lights. Only if I get a super cheap scooter will I decide against the bike motor.
           There’s an Internet search for you. Try to find if there is any bike motor smaller than 49cc. I’ve decided to look by typing every displacement down from 49, there is likely no other way. I await the genius who invents the search engine that can handle compound words. I don’t need a 49cc motor since it develops 1.6 horsepower, can hit 25 mph and adds 19 pounds to the bicycle. That is too much for what I need, which is 15 mph and 10 pounds (so it can still be lifted onto a bus rack). Such a motor would resemble an overlarge model airplane engine.
           Goodbye Aventura Borders, the first place I ever played in Florida back in 2000. They close on the 16th. Oops, I mentioned book store, so here is some trivia. Prior to Elvis Presley, Col. Tom Parker’s most successful show was his Dancing Chickens. He used a hotplate to get them moving. He was probably overqualified for Elvis but I’m glad it worked out for them.
           PopSci reports a new type of lithium battery which uses oxygen in the air to create the electricity. That eliminates significant weight and could be a breakthrough. Most visas are required by rich nations when the traveler is from a poor nation. Half of all child support payments in the US are in arrears. And I’m going to write to 2600 magazine. I like and understand their hacks, but where do I learn how to use them?
           Last item for today, Wallace has received the foretold eviction notice, dated today. He has five (5) days to pay up his outstanding rent or the court padlocks the door. Sunvest will not negotiate, their hidden agenda is to be rid of as many tenants as possible before state law forces a payout. The office knows he is thousands of miles away and hopes he will not pay.
           Thank God and the legal system I have more important things to worry about.