Here is a rare picture that belongs to somebody else, a magazine called “W”, which I claim fair usage because it is the trivia of today. Maria, this Spanish lady I know, picked this out for somebody at her son’s wedding. It proved hard to find the designer. This made more sense once I found out the dress is from a private collection and not for sale. It is apparently 212 years old and designed for the Russian Empress. That would be Catherine the Great, I think. The one who murdered her husband. Careful, for I cannot identify the dress exactly, but it makes great trivia.
Just think, if there were any women that fit into that dress two hundred years ago, it was all natural. Just think. Ohhhhhhhhhhh!So, I find this web site that has a billion or more guitar chords and riffs. The author put thousands of hours into it – but he did not know how to work a word processor. There is actually quite a high skill level involved in getting chord symbols to appear above the correct words in the line of lyrics beneath. No, you cannot copy and paste, that does not work. Besides, most fonts are proportionate and the sizes of any spaces you try to use will throw themselves off. Of course, there is a way to do it, but I’m not telling.
All day in the shop, I did notice that an Internet search on any topic in this blog comes up really fast – but I do not know why. Search engines don’t make sense to me but I’m aware of the algorithms that search the meta-tags and such. Which reminds me, Boris called from the shop, it seems he is over there trying to send a T/T (telegraphic transfer) and wants information. I could not help, which is the kind of thing that happens when you call from my office when I’m not there and ask how for instructions on how to do my job. Anyway, since I can consistently search this blog with Google, I am tempted to write a post with nothing but the names of every person I want to read this.
I do a brisk business over on Hillcrest Drive, a retirement community just west of here. This afternoon I went through the Windows XP Home registration process, which took 8 minutes (compared to the hour and a half with Vista). Doing a job at that place, which has around twenty ten-story condo buildings, always get me to thinking about setting up a classroom over there. That is, 4,800 dwelling units in one complex. It does not take long to do the arithmetic.
This is no idle concept; it is just one I never get around to. It is one of those projects that I turn to when times are bad. Then things perk up before I get going and the idea gets shelved till next time. Make no mistake about it folks, my most popular courses are:
How to establish fake, untraceable email accounts
How and when to use phony log-on information
How to set up deadly anti-virus protection
How to cover your trail and delete all histories
How to spread disinformation to obscure published records
Tricking on-line parties into revealing their identity
It is not uncommon for people to object to me teaching about phony log-ons, but it is a form of self-defense. An excellent example is sites that advertise that they are free, but after you have invested your time navigating suddenly they want a membership for you to continue. Are you listening, Miami Herald and (what’s the name of that reprehensible Seattle on-line stock broker firm that uses your log-on to do a credit check on you?) Most detested are the “people search” sites that state they are free until after you have entered the data of the party you are searching for. Foul. Mind you, years ago I predicted some site could do well simply informing people who are the subject of these searches, as in did you know so-and-so looked up your mortgage record today?
It was a heat-bath outside today. I rode my bike the entire route (around 17 miles), including bringing one computer back to the shop. The problem (for others) is that when you vehicle is stopped, no A/C unit can keep the interior of you car cool in this climate. So yes, I’m sweating on my bike, but I’m not broiling in a tin oven. Everybody was on the road crawling along, I had dozens of people give me the thumbs up as I passed them at every intersection. Without telling tall tales, the heat was seriously dangerous today.
So I buttoned up inside my air conditioned studio and went to work on the song lists. Remember that ending on Galveston? Not no more. My Johnny Cash half-hour is nearly there. I’ve also redone a lot of the tunes that had early mistakes. I always thought “Tulsa Time” needed a real lead break anyway. Even if I do play it on the bass.
I’m back, two minutes ahead of schedule. I gave myself one hour to meld “Move It On Over” with “Tush”. Same chord structure and similar turnarounds, but electronically two completely different pieces of music. Or used to be. The tempo difference was 3.001%, which I derived by trial and error. (Using a product called “Sound Touch” by a programmer with the unlikely name of Olli Parviainen, who makes it possible to change the speed without changing the pitch.) I now have a 6 minute medley that should wake any napping guitarists in the crowd. I’ve inserted the entire bars of “Tush” as a lead break, minus that squeaky ending. Don’t try this at home, but if you do, make sure you make backups of your originals.
Yet another problem with Vista, and its Office 2007 again. There is a mode you can open a spreadsheet that blocks the tabs along the bottom. No easy or intuitive way to undo this problem. The most surprising thing remains that Microsoft is still even capable of this kind of screw-up on an application that is what, going on thirty-five now. Damn it, guys, quit improving it and fix the known glitches. They have also moved all the familiar commands, such as the one to insert a new worksheet. I’ll find it, but what a retarded thing to do in the first place. It wasn’t broken.
Remember the DVD “The Harvest”. It was okay and well-made. Provided you believe that there are thirty-year-old perfect-bodied blonde hippie chicks in Mexico who fall for guys who look like Elmer Fudd. The plot was definitely written by a writer, if you follow – there is a formula to that type of plot. The challenge is to make it as surprising as possible without making it too difficult to follow. This leaves gaps in the script. Like at the end, he orders two doctors out of his house at gunpoint, apparently forgetting the blonde was bleeding to death ten feet away. Yep, she sure was a looker, except for those crimp-job hairdos women over twenty-four seem to love. Gals, anything except a natural style makes you look fat.
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