The local library, downtown branch. This is where I go after work, known as “Happy Hour”. The place has terrible research facilities and a permanent police car parked out front. Internet computers were a boon to the library trade, packing the place solid in what used to be a dying business. This branch has expanded to nearly fifty computers. (That makes for six times more people on-line than reading.) The users must all be geniuses, every one of them, because they never take any notes. Speed-learning?
Somebody should come up with a rating system for job and business offers on the Internet, for it is well known most of them are scams. Big Al has been on line for over a year and I agree with his results. While there are on-line businesses that pre-date the Internet, there are no legitimate businesses invented on the Internet. By legitimate, I mean you do only the work advertised, they pay up in full on time, and no funny stuff.Today I ran through several hundred listings for “jobs”. Every one was a scam, if only in the mis-categorization of the description. Debt collection jobs listed as “accounts receivable”. Writing jobs with permanent zero pay, called “internships”. Office jobs that require a “clean driving record”. Ads for accountants that specify “telephone answering skills” and we all love those minimum wage positions that insist on a “high credit score”.
Now here is an ad for a “teacher” which I followed up, knowing it was a swindle, but it is my kind of con. Er, I mean, situation. I’ve never been taken by these seminars; the start-your-own-business scams you see on late night TV or held at Sheraton Hotels. At the same time, I’ve always been fascinated by how much money is made by these seminars. Two hundred people in a room paying five hundred bucks each is not bad cash for a few hours work and a vat of coffee. I’ve always identified with the speaker, not the audience.
The said advertisement is for somebody to sell school boards on a method of classroom discipline called “Time to Teach”. Although there is no teaching involved, it is listed as a teaching position. They are seeking people to conduct training seminars. This is something I know I could do although I’m skeptical of the whole thing. I contacted them anonymously and they responded with a (downloaded) 79-page manual of which half was glowing testimonial.
They say they want speakers, which fools nobody because this is a sales position, although they insist otherwise. Nonetheless, it is a very well-paying sales position. The speaker gets a 50% commission. That’s a lot of money for something I already like to do. Sure enough, they want you to attend a $539 “course” in Georgia or Arizona. I’ll take a closer look. If they set up the speaking positions, it could be lucrative.
Meanwhile I drove over to Jimbo’s to collect my PA speakers before the other band arrived, usually a wise move. Capt. Sam ran short of Budweiser, so he gave me a fistful of money to go bring back a carload. When I returned, the band was set up. I listened to half a set and these guys are excellent. The singer is new, the band is super-tight and play classic bar tunes. The kind of group I would join in an instant. I believe they are called “Fired UP”. They are tighter than my own act, a tough thing to do.
There is a heated discussion on the Internet about the hiring of people with tattoos. I know that I wouldn’t do it. It seems most employers agree. The on-line argument was superficially about tattoos and really about those who had tattoos defending themselves. One proponent of self-mutilation, er, I mean, tattoos, was giving pointers on how to cover up everything until you get the job. Then you break out the Mohawk, pierced body parts and ugly skin markings. Sounds like the honest type you want talking to your customers. I agree with the consensus that if getting tattooed is the best you can do at being distinctive in this life, you are a bad risk to begin with.
A Canadian lady got my goat. I was within a moment of throwing her out the door. She is the one who kept changing the language to French and not restoring it when she was finished. Well, I locked the computer down solid to prevent that and sure enough, today she tries to install this program from her bank. After I told her she has to buy the computer if she wants to put programs on it. I finally tried to import her file to Excel, but the bank numbers are both comma-delimited and in double quotes, that is, more trouble than they are worth. She launches into this big long spiel about how the bank statements can be read on her computer “at home in Quebec” and she didn’t do anything to it and everything works perfectly except on my computer.
She goes on about this for close to five minutes. By the end of that time, I’m asking her exactly what she is getting at. Is she saying my computers don’t work? No. Is she saying she doesn’t have to pay for the time on my computer? Fat chance. Is she saying all computers in the world work for her except mine? You get the idea.
My blood pressure by now is going through the roof. I suspect she thought I was obligated call her bank and get instructions in French on how to make my expensive computer work with their hairy program. I finally told her, “Lady, you have told me fifteen times that your computer works but mine doesn’t. I don’t want to hear it sixteen times. If you say it once more, I’m going to ask you to leave”
I had flashbacks of the days I worked with Canadians. This is not uncommon behavior for those people. I did not say it was wrong, just that is not uncommon. They try to treat you like the only reason you don’t agree with them is because you are too dumb follow their explanation, so let’s go over it again. One of my original quotations back then was, “A Canadian is someone who thinks just because he is right and you are wrong, this somehow changes things.”
Will showed to say he put in an hour practicing. He has discovered it is something you can do even when not feeling up to par. Hopefully he’ll get on stage in another week or so. I went outside around 9:00 p.m. to look for the eclipse. In typical Florida fashion, it was one of those extremely rare evenings with 100% cloud cover. You can say the bad weather was not Florida’s fault, but once you live here long enough you begin to suspect.
Return Home
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
