Breakfast was on (but not at) Jimbo’s. This time I went to the Westin Diplomat, out on the beach, supposed to be a swank joint. It is now 9:30 A.M. and I am back. For a moment, I had considered pulling up over there on my bicycle and handing the lock keys to the doorman, but I drove to the old company parking lot (still have my sticker) and walked across the road. I strolled into the edifice and noted the place is devoid of any charm or atmosphere. I must report that, for the first time in my life, I balked at the prices.
You’ll want details. There are several eating places, these prices are at “The Café”, near the beach entrance. A bowl of cereal with milk was the cheapest breakfast, at $9 (and no cents). You can upgrade to granola at $11, or pancakes at $13. You omelet sets you back $16. Instead, I opted for a small and conspicuously popular coffee stand in the lobby, where café con leche weighed in at $3.75. Add a muffin and it comes to $4.73. You have to ask for butter. If you want anything toasted, there is a toaster in the hallway, help yourself.I noticed several nearby guests were also appalled by all this, so I asked one couple if they knew that downtown was just minutes away. They gave me the inside scoop. They felt like hostages in the hotel. That was abrupt so I asked them to expand. The Diplomat, they report, harshly enforces “valet” parking and requires an appointment to bring your own car to the door. (Apparently an hour’s notice was not unusual, for which the staff expects a twenty-dollar tip.) The alternative is a lineup of taxis eight deep on the landing. Furthermore, they grill the guests on where they are going and lay a major guilt trip on them because the hotel has everything they need “because the hotel said so”. That is, if it isn’t in the hotel, they maybe shouldn’t be doing it—all said very correct and polite, of course. The Diplomat is a serious case of marketing gone bad.
There is a restaurant on the premises called Hollywood Prime. I glanced at the menu. You could cheap out on the “tuna loin” at $29.95, try the “strip loin” at $44.95 or impress the type of woman that would go with you to such a place with a “tender loin” for a cool $83.95. Don’t forget 18% surcharge for parties of six or more. I have been in some fancy Asian hotels, this Diplomat is a flop house by that standard, yet you are probably looking at the better part of a thousand per day for a family to stay there.
No matter how you slice it, this is still Hollywood and this is still south Florida. That is the real reason I balked—such blatant price gouging is almost as bad as the mental attitude that tries to justify the nine-dollar bowl of Cheerios. I wonder how many guests heat up the occasional can of beans on an overturned steam iron in their rooms?
Music. I cannot get my PA speakers to exhibit the frapping problem here, where I use a smaller practice amp. I had to set up completely. Dang, that is a lot of work. I priced out new gear y’day, the set of speakers I really want, Cerwin-Vegas, cost $600 each for the 8” model. Ouch. Later, I’ve set the gear in the living room and it does not appear to be the speakers, so I have to go looking for an impedance mismatch. But where? Not only is the Gigrac completely clip protected, I can’t even force it to distort. But I’ve heard it myself (during the show) so I can’t quit now.
Even later, I appear to have more PA than I do speakers, and the frapping problem is not speaker distortion, but low-end clipping. This feature is global, when any one channel clips, all eight channels clip. This is aggravated by such things as my “lush” files and certain powered guitar pickups. I have to lower the master volume and mess the individual channels more carefully, much like an old ‘60s Fender PA.
Since the Diplomat put me in a cranky mood, have you seen the Elizabeth Smart magazine cover? She’s had a total makeover to punctuate the young and innocent look the media loves to play up. Smart was kidnapped at 14 and is now 20. The makeup artists have her looking like, well, shall we say, the only thing they didn’t do was frizz her hair. If she’s right on queue, she’ll do that at 21, and next comes the tattoo. Or is it the boob job?
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